Struggling.
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Hi just looking for help and support. I've recently been forced out my street by neibours who aren't happy about what my ex has been charged with. We are not together but trying to work on things. I've had s*** thrown at my door, people threatening to kick my door down, I've had a terrible time and have just moved into another rented accommodation this weekend however I've just woken up to a text from my friend "B" saying that I need to stop my ex coming round etc incase the new neibours find out and I'm pushed out again etc. this is something I am scared of and don't know how to handle it if it happens as I have terrible anxiety over it and attempted to take my own life at Halloween partly due to the stress from my old neibours. I can't face the thought of not having him in my life again but I hate being made to look like the guilty one as my ex never got any abuse from them it was all me and he is currently staying with his parents and none of them have recieved anything like what I have
Update - said friend has now blocked me off everything as I told them to back off it's my life and I'll face what happens(this friend is male and has been jealous before)
Thanks for your reply, I was in a village before I have now moved into the main town. My neibours saw it all happen over a year ago and obviously word got out I'm just really scared the ones that were giving me crap will find out where I am and tell my new neibours
Yes police were involved but didn't do anything...
I've not been telling people where I'm moving too incase they find out but I did tell a couple of people I thought I could trust
He's on bail at the minute, it seems so difficult like everyone knows and is against me just praying I don't have to go through that again
My ex's sister told one of the neibours she's friendly with at my old house and it spread that way
Bump
Hi Christine
im sorry to hearabout what's happened to you in your previous house . We were quite lucky when our son was arrested as the neighbours did not say or do anything. I think the reason for this was that he'd not been to court at that time. Perhaps things would have been different after his conviction for talking to someone underage.
The day our son got arrested I knew that we would need to move as soon as possible. This was not because of the neighbours. It was because of my paranoia. I couldn't stay there knowing that it was likely that everyone would be sniggering about us behind our backs .
we were in the fortunate position to move quickly. We moved in under three weeks after the knock happened.I regret moving now as I've come to realise we cannot keep running.lee who posts on this site has stayed put where she is and stood by her partner. From what she's said, she had a crap time of it for a while and then she and her partner became old news which is encouraging for anyone who might want to stay put.
Our son is due home shortly and we have concerns that people will find out where we are living now but I've said all along that I won't move again. This time, I will sit tight and sit it out and wait for it to become last weeks news.This time, if it came out, I would call the police at the first sign of trouble at my door but I wouldn't leave.I'd call the police each and every time someone verbally abused me or touched my property.
In your case I would be my,internet the police aware now that there might be issue. That way they have it on record that you've phoned them to tell them what might happen. Also, I would not be letting anyone from my old life know where I was unless it's unavoidable. Have you moved far from your old area? Do you have children? Family nearby who can support you? Have you been to your gp? I've been where you are. I very nearly ended my life a few times after my son went to prison. I know exactly how you feel because I felt the same. In the long run, life is never the same again but it does get better. You learn ways to deal with daily life and the bad days do get less as time goes on. It just all takes a long time. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but from experience and reading other people's stories , the reality is that this whole process is very time consuming. Please think about calling the police and seeing your gp if you need to. X
im sorry to hearabout what's happened to you in your previous house . We were quite lucky when our son was arrested as the neighbours did not say or do anything. I think the reason for this was that he'd not been to court at that time. Perhaps things would have been different after his conviction for talking to someone underage.
The day our son got arrested I knew that we would need to move as soon as possible. This was not because of the neighbours. It was because of my paranoia. I couldn't stay there knowing that it was likely that everyone would be sniggering about us behind our backs .
we were in the fortunate position to move quickly. We moved in under three weeks after the knock happened.I regret moving now as I've come to realise we cannot keep running.lee who posts on this site has stayed put where she is and stood by her partner. From what she's said, she had a crap time of it for a while and then she and her partner became old news which is encouraging for anyone who might want to stay put.
Our son is due home shortly and we have concerns that people will find out where we are living now but I've said all along that I won't move again. This time, I will sit tight and sit it out and wait for it to become last weeks news.This time, if it came out, I would call the police at the first sign of trouble at my door but I wouldn't leave.I'd call the police each and every time someone verbally abused me or touched my property.
In your case I would be my,internet the police aware now that there might be issue. That way they have it on record that you've phoned them to tell them what might happen. Also, I would not be letting anyone from my old life know where I was unless it's unavoidable. Have you moved far from your old area? Do you have children? Family nearby who can support you? Have you been to your gp? I've been where you are. I very nearly ended my life a few times after my son went to prison. I know exactly how you feel because I felt the same. In the long run, life is never the same again but it does get better. You learn ways to deal with daily life and the bad days do get less as time goes on. It just all takes a long time. Sorry if that's not what you want to hear but from experience and reading other people's stories , the reality is that this whole process is very time consuming. Please think about calling the police and seeing your gp if you need to. X
Heya Christine,
Sorry that you're neighbours have resorted to this behaviour. It must have been a horrible experience. Have you tried to create a support network around you at all to help and are you planning on any type of therapy? Lee is right, contact the police and let them know. I don't think the old neighbours would travel that far to bother you... But be aware of telling anyone about the new ones...
Friends are a difficult scenario... I would avoid telling them unless you know they wouldn't judge you for any decsison you make (to your face). They may have judgements but they're their to support you in whatever you choose to do... I haven't said anything to my friends.... Mainly because they don't like h anyway really... I have one friend whose like a sister to me and my husband who in time we may tell... But for now... It's all so raw for everyone... As soon as someone finds out they are reactionary so...
Please keep us posted as we're always here to help
Sorry that you're neighbours have resorted to this behaviour. It must have been a horrible experience. Have you tried to create a support network around you at all to help and are you planning on any type of therapy? Lee is right, contact the police and let them know. I don't think the old neighbours would travel that far to bother you... But be aware of telling anyone about the new ones...
Friends are a difficult scenario... I would avoid telling them unless you know they wouldn't judge you for any decsison you make (to your face). They may have judgements but they're their to support you in whatever you choose to do... I haven't said anything to my friends.... Mainly because they don't like h anyway really... I have one friend whose like a sister to me and my husband who in time we may tell... But for now... It's all so raw for everyone... As soon as someone finds out they are reactionary so...
Please keep us posted as we're always here to help
Our knock was over a year ago now so it doesn't seem to be settling down for us its so difficult. I don't have children but would love them. Still waiting on my partners date it keeps getting moved
Yes waiting on his plea getting accepted we've been told it could be as far away as March, no he gets on with his sister, just hope things will be ok here and I hope he's not jailed as I don't know how I'd cope
Christine,
I feel your pain of wanting children but even before the knock I realised that it wasn't the right time. I now know even more that even if I am still here in 12 months time it would not be the right time. I suppose in some ways as horrible as it sounds it gives some people the kick up the ass they need to actually get help...
I feel your pain of wanting children but even before the knock I realised that it wasn't the right time. I now know even more that even if I am still here in 12 months time it would not be the right time. I suppose in some ways as horrible as it sounds it gives some people the kick up the ass they need to actually get help...
Hello Christine_123,
I am really pleased that you have reached out and posted on the forum and it is positive to see that you have already had some supportive replies from other forum members. I am really sorry to hear about your situation and the abuse that you have experienced recently from your neighbours, this is not something that we hear of often so I can imagine that this is a very distressing time for you. Therefore, I would encourage you to contact us on our Stop It Now! helpline on 0808 1000 900. It might be helpful for you to discuss your situation with one of our helpline operators so that they can offer you some support and advice at this time. I would like to assure you that the helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone from a landline. Take care.
I am really pleased that you have reached out and posted on the forum and it is positive to see that you have already had some supportive replies from other forum members. I am really sorry to hear about your situation and the abuse that you have experienced recently from your neighbours, this is not something that we hear of often so I can imagine that this is a very distressing time for you. Therefore, I would encourage you to contact us on our Stop It Now! helpline on 0808 1000 900. It might be helpful for you to discuss your situation with one of our helpline operators so that they can offer you some support and advice at this time. I would like to assure you that the helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone from a landline. Take care.