Living arrangements help!
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Hi,
I currently live with my mom, dad, brother and my 5 year old son. Nearly 3 years ago my brother was arrested for sexual communication with a child. He was charged 1 year ago. Yesterday he pleaded guilty and given unconditional bail but told he had to go to the nearest police station to register. Rather naively this came as a bit of a shock. We have lived here the entire time with my son and no one has said there would be a problem in my brother living here too. I'd never even researched it before today.
He is to be sentenced in the new year and the probation officer told us yesterday that they will not call us until the new year too. She asked who lived within the home.
Neither myself or my brother can afford to leave and the council will not rehouse me as I earn too much. I am the main earner in the house and rely on my mom and dad to help with childcare. My brother is classed as disabled and relies on me and my mom for aspects of his care. We have no friends or relatives where we can stay either.
I'm going out of my mind with worry that one of us will be made homeless. Should I be expecting a knock on the door soon to say that we cannot live together? I cannot eat or sleep.
Will they also contact my child's father and tell them about it? He's barely sent a text in the last year to see if my boy is okay but I know this will start a custody battle because of how he feels about me.
Any help appreciated.
I currently live with my mom, dad, brother and my 5 year old son. Nearly 3 years ago my brother was arrested for sexual communication with a child. He was charged 1 year ago. Yesterday he pleaded guilty and given unconditional bail but told he had to go to the nearest police station to register. Rather naively this came as a bit of a shock. We have lived here the entire time with my son and no one has said there would be a problem in my brother living here too. I'd never even researched it before today.
He is to be sentenced in the new year and the probation officer told us yesterday that they will not call us until the new year too. She asked who lived within the home.
Neither myself or my brother can afford to leave and the council will not rehouse me as I earn too much. I am the main earner in the house and rely on my mom and dad to help with childcare. My brother is classed as disabled and relies on me and my mom for aspects of his care. We have no friends or relatives where we can stay either.
I'm going out of my mind with worry that one of us will be made homeless. Should I be expecting a knock on the door soon to say that we cannot live together? I cannot eat or sleep.
Will they also contact my child's father and tell them about it? He's barely sent a text in the last year to see if my boy is okay but I know this will start a custody battle because of how he feels about me.
Any help appreciated.
Hello Emma12,
I am really pleased that you have reached out and posted on the forum however I am sorry that you have not received any replies from any other forum members yet, hopefully you will soon. I am really sorry to hear about your situation and I can understand that this must be a very difficult time for you and your family and must be causing you a lot of worry. It might be helpful for you to contact us on our anonymous and confidential helpline on 0808 1000 900 to speak with one of our trained operators. This would allow you to discuss your situation further and receive some tailored advice and support.
Take care.
Lucy
I am really pleased that you have reached out and posted on the forum however I am sorry that you have not received any replies from any other forum members yet, hopefully you will soon. I am really sorry to hear about your situation and I can understand that this must be a very difficult time for you and your family and must be causing you a lot of worry. It might be helpful for you to contact us on our anonymous and confidential helpline on 0808 1000 900 to speak with one of our trained operators. This would allow you to discuss your situation further and receive some tailored advice and support.
Take care.
Lucy
Hi emma12
I don't know if your brother will be allowed back home or not and sorry u have found ur self in this group but from what I found on here people will try and support,, try eating small amounts and someone on here told me take it one day at a time,, sorry I don't have much advice xx
I don't know if your brother will be allowed back home or not and sorry u have found ur self in this group but from what I found on here people will try and support,, try eating small amounts and someone on here told me take it one day at a time,, sorry I don't have much advice xx
Sorry I havent been on in a couple of weeks. I hope you have managed to get some support and advice over what is happening with your brother. I would have imagined that as social havent shown any major concerns they wouldnt expect you to move anywhere. I hope that the new year sees you get some answers x
Thank you for your replies.
This morning he has had a phone call to say that a referral to child services needs to be made. They have taken my number and said they will contact me in due course. My brother is still living with us as no one has said that he cannot.
Going out of my mind more now than I was before. We are 3 years into this and only now are they getting involved.
This morning he has had a phone call to say that a referral to child services needs to be made. They have taken my number and said they will contact me in due course. My brother is still living with us as no one has said that he cannot.
Going out of my mind more now than I was before. We are 3 years into this and only now are they getting involved.
Thank you Lee. I will definitely look into all of this things. It's so unfair that we go through this when we have done nothing wrong.
Thank you for all your help Lee. I did exactly what you said and today child services called and asked what I had put in my plan. She is happy that there are no safeguarding issues so case was closed.
she did however say that it is likely to be referred if there are restrictions given to my brother on his sentencing day. I'm unsure what those may be so will have to look into this further. Does anyone have experience of this?
Cannot thank you enough for all your help.
she did however say that it is likely to be referred if there are restrictions given to my brother on his sentencing day. I'm unsure what those may be so will have to look into this further. Does anyone have experience of this?
Cannot thank you enough for all your help.
Hi
Often offenders will be given a SHPO (sexual harm prevention order) as well as being required to comply with SOR (sexual offenders register) requirements. The conditions in the SHPO are specific to the offender and the offence committed, for online offences they often include things like
not allowed to delete their internet history
Make any devices they use available to be checked by the police when requested
register any devices they have with the police
not use any software to mask their IP address
not use file sharing software
not have unsupervised access to anyone under the age of 16
not communicate with anyone under the age of 16
The SHPO forms part of the sentence, so until sentencing happens no-one will be able to predict what restrictions will be applied.
The SOR requirements state that you must inform the police if you will stay more than x hours (can't remember the exact number) in a house where someone under the age of 18 lives. It doesn't prevent you from doing so, but the notification allows for the police to do checks to ensure that no-one will be put at risk as a result.
Hope that helps.
Often offenders will be given a SHPO (sexual harm prevention order) as well as being required to comply with SOR (sexual offenders register) requirements. The conditions in the SHPO are specific to the offender and the offence committed, for online offences they often include things like
not allowed to delete their internet history
Make any devices they use available to be checked by the police when requested
register any devices they have with the police
not use any software to mask their IP address
not use file sharing software
not have unsupervised access to anyone under the age of 16
not communicate with anyone under the age of 16
The SHPO forms part of the sentence, so until sentencing happens no-one will be able to predict what restrictions will be applied.
The SOR requirements state that you must inform the police if you will stay more than x hours (can't remember the exact number) in a house where someone under the age of 18 lives. It doesn't prevent you from doing so, but the notification allows for the police to do checks to ensure that no-one will be put at risk as a result.
Hope that helps.