two heads
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Just over 8 weeks ago we had the knock. Since then, the various moods and thought processes have been in overdrive. Most days, I feel that I have become two people, one which is able to function normally, putting on a facade that looks and sounds fairly normal. The other person is busy thinking about the situation my partner has landed us in. I am supporting him as a) we have always had a lovely relationship including that with our surrounding families and friends b)he has been honest since the dreaded 'K' day and is open to any questions that I may raise and suggestions that I make. c) Has been having online sessions with a psychotherapist recommended to him by StopSo. I try not to think too far ahead as I find that quite daunting. Who knows what the future holds, there is so much inconsistency re these situations i.e. sentencing, time span, what he may or not be allowed to do if he dosen't receive a custodial sentence, reactions from others when it all comes out (immediate families all aware and mostly very supportive of him). Covid restrictions have put our lifes on hold, but I find it very hard to adapt to the fact that we now no longer have the freedom to make plans i.e. holidays, trips, etc because of the uncertainty of the situation. I have told my partner that I am angry, hurt and disappointed which he has accepted so all is out in the open.He is hoping that in the future he may be able to turn things around, and as well as helping other offenders, he can be proactive and perhaps highlight the dangers of the internet with youngsters who are very dependent on their internet devices. Thank you for reading, its just having all these thoughts clouding my head, I felt that it may help to air them.
Sorry you have found yourself in this situation!
you've done so well so far, making the choice on whether to support or not is a huge one to make! it sounds very similar to my family in the sense that you understand it's mental health, and not the person you know doing these things!
these frustrations that you have will soon die down, we thought the same at the start of this year. In regards to holiday, My dad has been on holiday once this year, which is all he is currently allowed (6 nights away), and he had to tell the police where he was going and register when he was there and that was whilst he was on probation- so there is hope for that once the courts have decided!
otherwise at the moment now that dad has been charged, life is pretty normal (until I have my baby, but that's a whole other story!)
it's completely normal to feel all of the emotions you are feeling! I would say keep communicating with each other, make sure you both understand how one another is feeling, it's one of the hardest things to get through, but when you know your nearly out the other side and your still strong the weight of your shoulders will be incredible and that's when you can really focus on yourself xx
you've done so well so far, making the choice on whether to support or not is a huge one to make! it sounds very similar to my family in the sense that you understand it's mental health, and not the person you know doing these things!
these frustrations that you have will soon die down, we thought the same at the start of this year. In regards to holiday, My dad has been on holiday once this year, which is all he is currently allowed (6 nights away), and he had to tell the police where he was going and register when he was there and that was whilst he was on probation- so there is hope for that once the courts have decided!
otherwise at the moment now that dad has been charged, life is pretty normal (until I have my baby, but that's a whole other story!)
it's completely normal to feel all of the emotions you are feeling! I would say keep communicating with each other, make sure you both understand how one another is feeling, it's one of the hardest things to get through, but when you know your nearly out the other side and your still strong the weight of your shoulders will be incredible and that's when you can really focus on yourself xx
I am so sorry that you find yourself here Muggins. I'm pleased you have found support, for both you and your husband as it an isolating and confusing place to find yourselves.
This forum is a great place to share your feelings and there are some amazing women on here who are very helpful, a lot of whom have got through the investigation stage, which can be very lengthy, and are through the other side. There are very inspiring posts.
There is no right or wrong way to feel or react, the main thing to remember, although it's hard, is that we are not responsible for their poor choices, in no way is it our fault. Sadly though, my mind does wander, and I go through the 'what ifs', but it's not helpful. I find mindfulness, meditation, and now a little yoga, helps! Initially though I was all about trying to understand this new world that I knew nothing about.
We are here for you....xxx
This forum is a great place to share your feelings and there are some amazing women on here who are very helpful, a lot of whom have got through the investigation stage, which can be very lengthy, and are through the other side. There are very inspiring posts.
There is no right or wrong way to feel or react, the main thing to remember, although it's hard, is that we are not responsible for their poor choices, in no way is it our fault. Sadly though, my mind does wander, and I go through the 'what ifs', but it's not helpful. I find mindfulness, meditation, and now a little yoga, helps! Initially though I was all about trying to understand this new world that I knew nothing about.
We are here for you....xxx