Trying to understand
Notifications OFF
I thought we had it all - i loved my partner so deeply. He had been an amazing support when my daughter ( now 18) had been going a very difficult time.
The first I knew was thevpolice in our house searching rooms at 6am 2 days ago. I didnt/ dont understand at all - he never said a word until that evening where he told me he had been looking at naked teens ( yougest 12 ) and downloaded a video which he closed as soon as he realised much younger. I do belive him i need to beleive him. My daughter knows what has happened - and feels comfortable to remain at home.everything has been digital & ido get teens often look older than they are. Im getting older - saggy bits etc is that a contributing factor?
He has the most amazing family but wint come ti the house - do not want him near the grandchildren. I love my step family so much.
How do you move forward - i just see a dirty old man and not the caring suppotive man i have shared my life with.
I miss the partner i knew
How do you make sense and move forward. Im struggling ti be supportive but tibe there for his adult children. How do you do this??
The first I knew was thevpolice in our house searching rooms at 6am 2 days ago. I didnt/ dont understand at all - he never said a word until that evening where he told me he had been looking at naked teens ( yougest 12 ) and downloaded a video which he closed as soon as he realised much younger. I do belive him i need to beleive him. My daughter knows what has happened - and feels comfortable to remain at home.everything has been digital & ido get teens often look older than they are. Im getting older - saggy bits etc is that a contributing factor?
He has the most amazing family but wint come ti the house - do not want him near the grandchildren. I love my step family so much.
How do you move forward - i just see a dirty old man and not the caring suppotive man i have shared my life with.
I miss the partner i knew
How do you make sense and move forward. Im struggling ti be supportive but tibe there for his adult children. How do you do this??
Thank you for your kinds words. Unfortunatly things have gone fron bad to even worse as he confessed to putting a web cam in my daughters room - spying on her and getting sexuality excited watching her nude. Has also seen her with her boyfriend. She already has mental health issues and self harms. I told him.to leave then n there. He left - cut his wrists and stepped out in front of a car. He can no longer be held accountable.His children all know this. They are broken by their hero dad I am every single emotion & we are left picking up the mess.
I have no idea where to start - his children dont want to say why he ended his life as they want to remember the man he was. They have lost their dad ( mum walked out). Im slipping into mum mode supporting them - losfvtheir father. My daughter who is the victim of having indecent videk taken ( we dont know yet if these have been up loaded ). I really dont know where to start.
I have no idea where to start - his children dont want to say why he ended his life as they want to remember the man he was. They have lost their dad ( mum walked out). Im slipping into mum mode supporting them - losfvtheir father. My daughter who is the victim of having indecent videk taken ( we dont know yet if these have been up loaded ). I really dont know where to start.
Hello Fiona
I recognise how hard it must have been to reach out for help on this forum and I want to say well done for doing so. I am sorry to hear what you and your family have been through since the knock and can only offer my deepest regards. This sounds like an extremely difficult time, and I think it is really important that you and your family have the support you need moving forward. I would encourage you and any adult children to call our anonymous and confidential helpline on 0808 1000 900. I am sure that you are feeling a whole range of emotions, and being able to talk to someone outside of the situation can be helpful it starting the journey to process these. Another important thing to consider is for you, your daughter and his children to consider visiting the GP to discuss any support that may be available for you during this difficult time and moving forwards. Please do consider calling us for additional support.
Take care,
Lucy
I recognise how hard it must have been to reach out for help on this forum and I want to say well done for doing so. I am sorry to hear what you and your family have been through since the knock and can only offer my deepest regards. This sounds like an extremely difficult time, and I think it is really important that you and your family have the support you need moving forward. I would encourage you and any adult children to call our anonymous and confidential helpline on 0808 1000 900. I am sure that you are feeling a whole range of emotions, and being able to talk to someone outside of the situation can be helpful it starting the journey to process these. Another important thing to consider is for you, your daughter and his children to consider visiting the GP to discuss any support that may be available for you during this difficult time and moving forwards. Please do consider calling us for additional support.
Take care,
Lucy
Fiona,so so sorry to hear this. I can only feel that this is a mental illness. No excuses, but it is an addiction. Your partner knew he had done the most horrendous thing to you all, we can't ever forgive or forget, so he took his own life. It is awful for you all and I can't imagine the pain for your daughter. My son has been convicted of viewing child porn for over 10 years. At first my husband wanted to hit him. We couldn't believe it. My husband caught him looking at inappropriate stuff on line when he was 14. Warned him then now he is 36years His girlfriend has stood by him for 10yrs and since being arrested again last year so has his boss. Noone wants to see him punished because he is so hard working, loving and the ideal man. .The difference is he now has a baby and he has done this again. We have no more to give to him. Look at my beautiful grandchild every day and feel sorry that his dad is like this. Luckily he has a brilliant mummy