Feeling broken
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Today has been a hard day, my eyes are so heavy and sore from crying.
I feel I have everything sorted and everything on track and then I get delivered a blow from my brother that he doesn't feel he can cultivate a relationship with me anymore because I am going to stay with my partner.......he has been in jail since July and he has only just come to this decision with not even a proper chat with me.
I would totally understand he wouldn't want my niece and nephews around my partner when he gets out I get that that is his own perogative but I thought we could still have a relationship separate to my relationship with my partner.
My message i got from him, out of the blue.....I knew something was up as he hadn't messaged me bk for some weeks or answered my calls..........his message as follows.....
Just so you are aware, as you are planning to continue your relationship with him I will not be cultivating our relationship. I do not want my children to be anywhere near him. I have no respect for him. You say its an addiction to porn, but it is unforgivable. I wouldnt forgive a heroin addict stabbing someone so they could get money for their fix, would you? I am not going to discuss this any further as I have thought about it a lot. This is not an ultimatum. It is a statement of intent. Good luck with your life.
I feel so broken atm and can't stop crying.......I have accepted an offer on our home as I don't want to take hand outs to help pay the mortgage. I want to do it by myself as I still have another year and 2months on my own.my little man is 21mths and is helping me keep going.
I feel I have everything sorted and everything on track and then I get delivered a blow from my brother that he doesn't feel he can cultivate a relationship with me anymore because I am going to stay with my partner.......he has been in jail since July and he has only just come to this decision with not even a proper chat with me.
I would totally understand he wouldn't want my niece and nephews around my partner when he gets out I get that that is his own perogative but I thought we could still have a relationship separate to my relationship with my partner.
My message i got from him, out of the blue.....I knew something was up as he hadn't messaged me bk for some weeks or answered my calls..........his message as follows.....
Just so you are aware, as you are planning to continue your relationship with him I will not be cultivating our relationship. I do not want my children to be anywhere near him. I have no respect for him. You say its an addiction to porn, but it is unforgivable. I wouldnt forgive a heroin addict stabbing someone so they could get money for their fix, would you? I am not going to discuss this any further as I have thought about it a lot. This is not an ultimatum. It is a statement of intent. Good luck with your life.
I feel so broken atm and can't stop crying.......I have accepted an offer on our home as I don't want to take hand outs to help pay the mortgage. I want to do it by myself as I still have another year and 2months on my own.my little man is 21mths and is helping me keep going.
Hello Spider 81
Well done for reaching out for support during this difficult time, I know this can be hard to do. I am really sorry to hear about the message you have received from your brother and understand why this has left you feeling this way. I think it would be helpful for you to consider calling our anonymous and confidential helpline on 0808 1000 900 so we are able to offer more support and guidance during this difficult time. It can be really helpful to talk to someone outside of the situation who has experience of assisting people in similar circumstances, so please do consider contacting the helpline. I also encourage you to consider reaching out for support from someone close, maybe another family member or close friend who could offer you support with how you are feeling right now. I want to praise you for being so strong, and continuing to focus on moving forwards and am very happy to hear that your son is keeping you strong during this time. I hope you feel able to reach out for help via our helpline soon.
Take care,
Lucy
Well done for reaching out for support during this difficult time, I know this can be hard to do. I am really sorry to hear about the message you have received from your brother and understand why this has left you feeling this way. I think it would be helpful for you to consider calling our anonymous and confidential helpline on 0808 1000 900 so we are able to offer more support and guidance during this difficult time. It can be really helpful to talk to someone outside of the situation who has experience of assisting people in similar circumstances, so please do consider contacting the helpline. I also encourage you to consider reaching out for support from someone close, maybe another family member or close friend who could offer you support with how you are feeling right now. I want to praise you for being so strong, and continuing to focus on moving forwards and am very happy to hear that your son is keeping you strong during this time. I hope you feel able to reach out for help via our helpline soon.
Take care,
Lucy