Following me to work.
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Hi folks I'm struggling tonight and don't know how to cope. I work as a carer out in the community and twice this week I've been asked if I'm back with "that beast" meaning my ex. We are trying to work things through but at times like this I hate him and want to stop things. It's killing me how he goes to work his family go to work and NOTHING has ever been said to them yet I get it constantly... I had to move because of it and now I'm getting it at work. I don't think I can cope with this.
Hi Christine
Sorry to hear your struggling. Who exactly was following you? If it was a work colleague then report it it's harassment.
You've been through so much recently having to move house also. It's sounds like where you are living are not going to make it easy for you if you stay. But it's not fair on you to be going through this. I feel for you.
Only you can decide if your strong enough to ignore the haters, he is worth all of this. Maybe a change of town might be the only option start afresh where noone knows you.
It seems like an extreme move, but this cannot carry on its not fair on you when none of this is your fault.
I left my partner for that reason I didn't want the association I knew i couldn't do it. That and the fact I knew I couldn't start a family with him either. It wasnt what I wanted for my baby. Maybe take some time out to have some breathing space and thinking time and weigh up what you want to do. Look after yourself x
Sorry to hear your struggling. Who exactly was following you? If it was a work colleague then report it it's harassment.
You've been through so much recently having to move house also. It's sounds like where you are living are not going to make it easy for you if you stay. But it's not fair on you to be going through this. I feel for you.
Only you can decide if your strong enough to ignore the haters, he is worth all of this. Maybe a change of town might be the only option start afresh where noone knows you.
It seems like an extreme move, but this cannot carry on its not fair on you when none of this is your fault.
I left my partner for that reason I didn't want the association I knew i couldn't do it. That and the fact I knew I couldn't start a family with him either. It wasnt what I wanted for my baby. Maybe take some time out to have some breathing space and thinking time and weigh up what you want to do. Look after yourself x
It's really difficult. I work as a carer caring for the elderly and it's my colleagues who are going into my clients houses telling them this stuff who then ask me about it which is really unprofessional. I moved from the village we had lived in together to the town around 12 miles away. I lost his family once before and don't want to loose them again. I feel so so torn. I can't cope with this I attempted my own life around 2 months ago and this isn't helping me feel better. Coupled with the fact that I want children and I don't think it would be possible or if I could trust him but I don't see myself ever finding anyone else I'm so so sad
I have suggested moving but he doesn't seem keen on it as he doesn't receive any hate only I do
Do you have a line manager who you can talk to? I think you need some support on this. This is malicious gossip and it's effecting your mental health. It's dam right cruel and it needs to stop.
It's your choice what you do whether you stay or go. Noone can judge you on that.
I feel the same like you it is daunting being on my own, but being with him was far harder trying to keep up the pretence everything was fine and it really wasnt. I left him 4 weeks ago and I can honestly say it was a huge relief, he manipulated me and lied so that made it much easier for me. But I had to protect myself before he goes to court and ends up in the papers. Iv took all these steps to protect myself and not to damage my mental health more than it has been already. I wasnt living being with him I was on my nerves all the time.
You deserve to be happy Christine life is short. If you think you can get past all this then good luck. Not that you should but you could change your job if you need to get away from those work people giving you grief.
It just makes me mad you've had to move.
If you leave him, you will in time heal and who knows you might meet your new partner and get the family you've always wanted. And be able to enjoy it in not such difficult circumstances. It's incredibly unfair your taking the brunt of his punishment.
Things have a funny way of working out. We just have to trust the universe has a plan for us and it will unfold when the time I right.
Maybe have a break from him for a couple of weeks a bit of space and thinking time and see how you feel. Have you told your family or friends do you have any support?
It's your choice what you do whether you stay or go. Noone can judge you on that.
I feel the same like you it is daunting being on my own, but being with him was far harder trying to keep up the pretence everything was fine and it really wasnt. I left him 4 weeks ago and I can honestly say it was a huge relief, he manipulated me and lied so that made it much easier for me. But I had to protect myself before he goes to court and ends up in the papers. Iv took all these steps to protect myself and not to damage my mental health more than it has been already. I wasnt living being with him I was on my nerves all the time.
You deserve to be happy Christine life is short. If you think you can get past all this then good luck. Not that you should but you could change your job if you need to get away from those work people giving you grief.
It just makes me mad you've had to move.
If you leave him, you will in time heal and who knows you might meet your new partner and get the family you've always wanted. And be able to enjoy it in not such difficult circumstances. It's incredibly unfair your taking the brunt of his punishment.
Things have a funny way of working out. We just have to trust the universe has a plan for us and it will unfold when the time I right.
Maybe have a break from him for a couple of weeks a bit of space and thinking time and see how you feel. Have you told your family or friends do you have any support?
I've contacted my manager, I'm 23 I have a history of childhood abuse and things that make me feel unworthy I guess. It hurts a lot as I thought I'd got my happy ending
No I've had no therapy, he left the house last night after me being upset no idea where he went so now I'm feeling terrible emotionally
I also keep having nightmares about him m******** people I know like my little nieces etc and then I wake up scared and hating him all over again I'm starting to see him as a monster
I'm definitely going to ring to helpline
Who has therapists sorry? X
StopSO. It is similar to Lucy faithful. They have a self referal form that you can fill in if you prefer to contact them that way. I will be reaching out to the soon too
Is it for family too?
It's called stop so??
I've had a look and unfortunately I can't afford the payments for therapy.. I'll be alright though just can't decide to stay or go