Feeling Sad
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Today is my 6th wedding anniversary. Instead I'm with family and my two little boys, whilst my husband is on bail living with his parents. I have applied for divorce, we are waiting for our house to sell it's only been 4 weeks since the police were at the bottom of my stairs.
I just feel sad. Sad when I look at my 11 week old baby and 3.5 year old. Sometimes I think was I too hasty??? Applying for divorce??? I don't know who he is. We have lost everything and I don't have any room for his up and coming sentencing in January. I am just about managing my little boys and myself.
it's all so mixed up and so unfair. I don't want to be a victim but I am an indirect one at that.
thabks for reading xx
I just feel sad. Sad when I look at my 11 week old baby and 3.5 year old. Sometimes I think was I too hasty??? Applying for divorce??? I don't know who he is. We have lost everything and I don't have any room for his up and coming sentencing in January. I am just about managing my little boys and myself.
it's all so mixed up and so unfair. I don't want to be a victim but I am an indirect one at that.
thabks for reading xx
So sorry you are feeling low. I can understand how you feel, even though it is 2 years since the police arrived at our front door at 6.30 in the morning. It is the biggest shock I have ever experienced. Nobody is prepared for all the emotions which hit them. I feel that on that dreadful day one life ended for me and gradually I have started to build another life (alone). This is not easy but my heart tells me it is the right thing to do for me despite the loneliness and financial consequences. Milestones such as wedding anniversaries will become less significant over time.
Stay strong, you have your boys and know that you are not alone . You in my thoughts.
Izzy
Stay strong, you have your boys and know that you are not alone . You in my thoughts.
Izzy
Hi Izzy,
thank you for your honest and caring reply. You are very right life is so different to what I thought it would be. It's been turned upside down and so many feelings and emotions that I have to deal with. So often I feel completely overwhelmed and have to take a deep breath and a step back.
I cannot help but think about how huge the consequences are for him and such a big part of me wants him to be ok. It's just such a head wreck.
thank you for your honest and caring reply. You are very right life is so different to what I thought it would be. It's been turned upside down and so many feelings and emotions that I have to deal with. So often I feel completely overwhelmed and have to take a deep breath and a step back.
I cannot help but think about how huge the consequences are for him and such a big part of me wants him to be ok. It's just such a head wreck.
I'm so sorry Simple. But know you are not alone in how you feel. It is a huge trauma. Have a look at my earlier post re trauma and the free on line course. It has helped me loads, and I am 16-17 months into this hellish journey.
You have to do what is right for you and the children. It is very understandable that you still care about what happens to your husband. You can't just switch off your feelings. But I think you do learn, eventually, to manage them better.
I have been separated from my husband since the day of the knock. I think it has made things easier for me in some ways, particularly in the community, but very very hard emotionally. I can't see us reconciling as I have lost the trust. He is also undergoing therapy and is changing because of it, and also because he lost everything in his life in one fail blow. so sometimes I don't recognise him as the man I loved. I too have changed. I hope I am less judgmental now and have more empathy for everyone. I think one thing we learn through this experience is that we don't know what anyone is going through.
Focus on you and the children, he must fight his own battle. I hope you find some peace. I still struggle at times, but I have found some strategies to help, and I have some great support around me, and they help carry me forward.
Xxx
You have to do what is right for you and the children. It is very understandable that you still care about what happens to your husband. You can't just switch off your feelings. But I think you do learn, eventually, to manage them better.
I have been separated from my husband since the day of the knock. I think it has made things easier for me in some ways, particularly in the community, but very very hard emotionally. I can't see us reconciling as I have lost the trust. He is also undergoing therapy and is changing because of it, and also because he lost everything in his life in one fail blow. so sometimes I don't recognise him as the man I loved. I too have changed. I hope I am less judgmental now and have more empathy for everyone. I think one thing we learn through this experience is that we don't know what anyone is going through.
Focus on you and the children, he must fight his own battle. I hope you find some peace. I still struggle at times, but I have found some strategies to help, and I have some great support around me, and they help carry me forward.
Xxx
Also like to add that WE ARE VICTIMS. I hope one day soon we will be recognised as such by the authorities. I am determined to do something towards this. Or else our experiences mean nothing, and that I can't allow! xx
Hi Tabs!
thanks so much for your reply! Really supportive and again it helps me to have insight into others experiences as it helps me gain perspective!
you are right I definitely will access a course/counselling in the new year.
somedays are better than others, my little boys are my focus and like your husband mine has lost everything. It's hard knowing that and really sad but also I have to be aware that I am unable to help with that and I did not contribute to this happening. I think that is what is so truly sad the lack of awareness somehow from my husband of the massive consequences!
x
thanks so much for your reply! Really supportive and again it helps me to have insight into others experiences as it helps me gain perspective!
you are right I definitely will access a course/counselling in the new year.
somedays are better than others, my little boys are my focus and like your husband mine has lost everything. It's hard knowing that and really sad but also I have to be aware that I am unable to help with that and I did not contribute to this happening. I think that is what is so truly sad the lack of awareness somehow from my husband of the massive consequences!
x