New here & confused
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Hi, After 5 months I've taken the step of looking online for support. Heres my history (apologies for the length!)
Had the knock on the door early on 1st July (same day I was going in for surgery) to say our IP address had accessed IIOC on 4 separate occasions in 2019. This came as a huge blow & shock to the family (myself, husband and 2 daughters). Devices were seized from the house but my husband was not arrested. Initially, as no admission of guilt was made, the police said they would treat both myself and my husband as potential suspects. Had a call the next day from SS to day my children should not be unsupervised with their Dad. Within a week or do the police had eliminated me from their enquiries and told me I had responsibility for ensuring the safety of my children and that they were waiting on the devices to go through forensics.
In September the police called the say they had found images on an external hard drive but that the forrensics process was still ongoing. At this point SS came back onto the scene with a full assessment and I asked my husband to temporarily move out (he still sees his children regularly with supervised access).
This week he has been invited in for an interview (still not arrested) to explain what has been uncovered - roughly 700 Cat A images & videos, 800 Cat B and a couple of thousand Cat C. My husband has admitted to accessing the dark web to download and upload movies and games but says that hes never seen an indecent image and is maintaining his innocence. I feel so confused and have no idea what to think. This seems like an incredibly high number to me and I've no idea how they can be on his computer/ external hard drive without his knowledge. Were now waiting for a decision from the CPS.
Does anyone else have a partner who hasn't made an admission?
Thanks for reading
Had the knock on the door early on 1st July (same day I was going in for surgery) to say our IP address had accessed IIOC on 4 separate occasions in 2019. This came as a huge blow & shock to the family (myself, husband and 2 daughters). Devices were seized from the house but my husband was not arrested. Initially, as no admission of guilt was made, the police said they would treat both myself and my husband as potential suspects. Had a call the next day from SS to day my children should not be unsupervised with their Dad. Within a week or do the police had eliminated me from their enquiries and told me I had responsibility for ensuring the safety of my children and that they were waiting on the devices to go through forensics.
In September the police called the say they had found images on an external hard drive but that the forrensics process was still ongoing. At this point SS came back onto the scene with a full assessment and I asked my husband to temporarily move out (he still sees his children regularly with supervised access).
This week he has been invited in for an interview (still not arrested) to explain what has been uncovered - roughly 700 Cat A images & videos, 800 Cat B and a couple of thousand Cat C. My husband has admitted to accessing the dark web to download and upload movies and games but says that hes never seen an indecent image and is maintaining his innocence. I feel so confused and have no idea what to think. This seems like an incredibly high number to me and I've no idea how they can be on his computer/ external hard drive without his knowledge. Were now waiting for a decision from the CPS.
Does anyone else have a partner who hasn't made an admission?
Thanks for reading
Hi there. I just wanted to reply as im in a similar situation, my partner is still denying any knowledge but had no explanation at all, just says he doesn't have any idea where any of this has come from and from what he's told me it was 7 images linked to his email address and our ip address. When I look through posts on here it seems the majority of people do admit guilt. This is what I am finding so difficult to deal with. I need to know, I cant stand not knowing. Im so sorry you find yourself in this position too, I had the knock around a month before you but I feel like I don't really know any more than the day this nightmare started. My partner did get arrested though, he was working out of town at the time. Also my partner is not allowed any contact at all with our children, not even allowed to speak to them on the phone so that also makes me wonder if it is alot worse then he is telling me. He also got arrested again afew weeks ago and apparently they found 6 more images on an icloud storage type thing, he again is denying any knowledge and not admitting guilt. Im sorry I can't be of any help I just wanted you to know you are not the only one in this situation, I really don't know what to make of it too. I dont want to believe it and im hoping for a miracle but I'm also just probably in denial and im trying to prepare myself for the worse. I hope you are taking care of yourself and taking each day at a time. That's what im trying to do but it really is a living nighmare xx
My husband downloaded kik messenger with the intention of just chatting to people..next thing someone sent him a puesdo image..he deleted it, thought nothing more of it thought he'd closed the application but hadn't.next thing he's sent thousands of iioc..jump forward 12 months, he's now a court date for February..ha# been consistent with his story from the beginning, that he never went searching for these images, never asked for them, just wanted to chat to people..I truly believe that he didn't go looking for these images or that he didn't download them..
the charge is for being in possession of the images..doesn't matter where they came from or how they got on his phone.the fact remains to the police that they are on a device belonging to husband..
we've been through an assessment, but as yet he's not allowed to live at home or have contact at home until social worker has completed outstanding work with me..
but we've had a glimmer of hope, all but a small one, social worker is allowing him to spend Xmas with us but she's undecided as to whether to allow him to stay overnight..
our journey with social services is nearly at the end, there is some light starting to come through from the end of a very very long tunnel..now we just have to get him through court..solicitor says at the most he can expect a suspended sentence..we can deal with that as I believe we're strong enough to do so, but the thought of it reaching the paper terrifies us and what that could mean for our family..social worker has said try not to think about that right now, that it being in the paper may not happen as only a small percentage gets into the paper..
im sorry that you've found yourself being here, but it's been a great comfort to me and I've found the advice amazing and it's helped me to realise that there is hope out there and the end is coming..
hudband doesn't want me to go to court with him as he feels I've been through enough already, and some might see that as "what's he hiding?" I know the full story..he just feels that it'll get twisted and he'll be made to look like a predator.
I hope you find comfort and peace and you don't have 2 long a journey
xx
the charge is for being in possession of the images..doesn't matter where they came from or how they got on his phone.the fact remains to the police that they are on a device belonging to husband..
we've been through an assessment, but as yet he's not allowed to live at home or have contact at home until social worker has completed outstanding work with me..
but we've had a glimmer of hope, all but a small one, social worker is allowing him to spend Xmas with us but she's undecided as to whether to allow him to stay overnight..
our journey with social services is nearly at the end, there is some light starting to come through from the end of a very very long tunnel..now we just have to get him through court..solicitor says at the most he can expect a suspended sentence..we can deal with that as I believe we're strong enough to do so, but the thought of it reaching the paper terrifies us and what that could mean for our family..social worker has said try not to think about that right now, that it being in the paper may not happen as only a small percentage gets into the paper..
im sorry that you've found yourself being here, but it's been a great comfort to me and I've found the advice amazing and it's helped me to realise that there is hope out there and the end is coming..
hudband doesn't want me to go to court with him as he feels I've been through enough already, and some might see that as "what's he hiding?" I know the full story..he just feels that it'll get twisted and he'll be made to look like a predator.
I hope you find comfort and peace and you don't have 2 long a journey
xx
Hi Confused
You are not alone. My husband is maintaining innocence too. He admitted he clicked on a link that he thought was to a website that went nowhere but instead found later had downloaded a torrent of images. It was a running joke that he was not very good with IT we always had to help him with things like that. He has been open that he started looking at porn he didn't really know why. It was a one time incident and I have no reason to disbelieve at this moment in time. I really do not think he would be looking for iioc at all. But police told me every wife says that.
Regardless he admitted they were there and will have to admit guilt in court which then looks like it was intentional whether it was or not. It does seem so unfair if this is the case for many men getting caught this way and being punished but it was his actions that led him there and only he can take responsibility.
wishing you luck and hoping you find some answers to your questions.
You are not alone. My husband is maintaining innocence too. He admitted he clicked on a link that he thought was to a website that went nowhere but instead found later had downloaded a torrent of images. It was a running joke that he was not very good with IT we always had to help him with things like that. He has been open that he started looking at porn he didn't really know why. It was a one time incident and I have no reason to disbelieve at this moment in time. I really do not think he would be looking for iioc at all. But police told me every wife says that.
Regardless he admitted they were there and will have to admit guilt in court which then looks like it was intentional whether it was or not. It does seem so unfair if this is the case for many men getting caught this way and being punished but it was his actions that led him there and only he can take responsibility.
wishing you luck and hoping you find some answers to your questions.
Hi confused1
Had the knock around the same time as you did. Bf protested his innocence throughout the investigation. Tried to put blame on someone else. I believed him. I wanted to believe he was innocent. I was in love. Until when I started asking my own questions he would become angry and aggressive and make me out to be the one in the wrong for even asking.
In the end I requested a Claires law disclosure for my own safety and when he was charged the police gave me information that didn't match what he told me. I can't say any more than that. That was enough for me to realise I had been lied and manipulated. I immediately asked him to leave and iv blocked all contact with him. I was more angry with myself for giving him the benefit of the doubt when I should of sent him packing the day the police knocked. Its a horrendous limbo I feel for you. I hope your husband is telling you the truth and you can come through this the other side.
Xxx
Had the knock around the same time as you did. Bf protested his innocence throughout the investigation. Tried to put blame on someone else. I believed him. I wanted to believe he was innocent. I was in love. Until when I started asking my own questions he would become angry and aggressive and make me out to be the one in the wrong for even asking.
In the end I requested a Claires law disclosure for my own safety and when he was charged the police gave me information that didn't match what he told me. I can't say any more than that. That was enough for me to realise I had been lied and manipulated. I immediately asked him to leave and iv blocked all contact with him. I was more angry with myself for giving him the benefit of the doubt when I should of sent him packing the day the police knocked. Its a horrendous limbo I feel for you. I hope your husband is telling you the truth and you can come through this the other side.
Xxx
I'm in the same situation - husband denying all knowledge and I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt, but it is so stressful waiting for the police investigation and the stories on here make me fear the worse.
We got the knock the 28th October 2020 he first the police said it was trafficking and grooming of children they have taken all divces from the home,,
Then about 6 weeks later I spoke to the polices office and he said he is not been charged with the first to charges he is just been charged with independent messages with a police decoy,, so was very in limbo about who was telling me the truth so when I partner called on Tuesday I told him I need the truth and if it can't come of his mouth then he needs to give his solicitor disclose to talk about the case with me now again I feel we turning a corner case he has done this so I feel he has nothing to hid,, its like the needle in the haystack but I think I getting there,
Then about 6 weeks later I spoke to the polices office and he said he is not been charged with the first to charges he is just been charged with independent messages with a police decoy,, so was very in limbo about who was telling me the truth so when I partner called on Tuesday I told him I need the truth and if it can't come of his mouth then he needs to give his solicitor disclose to talk about the case with me now again I feel we turning a corner case he has done this so I feel he has nothing to hid,, its like the needle in the haystack but I think I getting there,
Just read through comments and you might know the answer to my question without need for me to pop up a new post.
When are husbands get charged, do we get told?
I havent allowed him home since the knock.
When are husbands get charged, do we get told?
I havent allowed him home since the knock.