How do I get through xmas
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I have no idea how I'm going to get through xmas. It's been 6 months since the knock amd my kids haven't been allowed any contact at all with their Dad for over 4 months now, they aren't even allowed to speak to him on the phone. It's the first Xmas in 13 years I've spent without him, I feel so alone. Im trying to make it an amazing xmas for my kids but it's just not going to be the same. My son has Autism and he is really struggling with it all, he's starting to take it out on me. I get it, you take it out on the people closest to you but it still really hurts. I just feel so sad, depressed, im still in shock that this is my life now. I dont know were to turn. I have to constantly put on this fake persona but now im really struggling. My social worker is coming tomorrow and im stressing about that too. I dont know why, my kids are on a child in need plan and I was told it was literally on the cusp, they've only kept them on it for support. Please tell me things get easier in time, if it wasn't for my kids I really dont think I could cope with this. Im so sorry to vent on here I just feel it's the only place I can. I have an amazing family and a couple if friends who know who have been amazing but I daren't tell them how im really feeling. I feel like im a burden, my life was drama free before this and I was so outgoing and positive, im a shell of my former self. You ladies on here are so inspirational, how do/did you cope with it? He hasn't even been charged yet and i know when they happens eveything is going be 10 x worse than it is now.
Hi Mickey101, you will get through it, I promise. Try not to think of the bigger picture, just focus on you and the children. Do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I live on my own, all I wanted to do on the 1st Christmas was hide away and cry. I did manage to go out for lunch, then came home, put on loungewear and opened a bottle of wine and cried. I cried a lot for him, thinking of him in his own on Christmas Day. I cried for me for what I had lost. That's what I needed. But for you, hopefully the children will be a wonderful distraction. Take pleasure in the little things. Do something different to distract them from their loss.
This year I was ready to celebrate, I was hosting, but plans have been cancelled due to covid. So, I intend to just go with whatever I feel, hour by hour. I will practice mindfulness and I will, more then likely, have a few tears, for all those that I have lost. I give myself permission.
I imagine it's much harder with children. Maybe you need to plan in some alone time, if it's when they're in bed or when they are occupied elsewhere, when you can give yourself the space to cry, or scream into a pillow, or, off load onto the forum. I imagine a lot of us will be here.
You take care, and try and enjoy the precious Christmas with your children. But don't put yourself under pressure.
Xxx
This year I was ready to celebrate, I was hosting, but plans have been cancelled due to covid. So, I intend to just go with whatever I feel, hour by hour. I will practice mindfulness and I will, more then likely, have a few tears, for all those that I have lost. I give myself permission.
I imagine it's much harder with children. Maybe you need to plan in some alone time, if it's when they're in bed or when they are occupied elsewhere, when you can give yourself the space to cry, or scream into a pillow, or, off load onto the forum. I imagine a lot of us will be here.
You take care, and try and enjoy the precious Christmas with your children. But don't put yourself under pressure.
Xxx
Hi micky
I total understand what u mean I have a 4 year old and 13 year old with additional needs and he asks me lot of question about what's going on they can't speak to him,,, I said we can write a special letter to him which we have now turned into a thought box so that when he is out I can give him when ss say I can so he can understand what his actions have done to us all and I find that is helping I have also explained to my daughter he is not well but he loves her but can't be at home at the moment,, Xmas day I have clue about I know his parents are coming over to see the kids and we just going to take it hour by hour,,, like everyone has said have a cry if that helps,, have a glass of wine but don't judge your self for what ever u do,, we will be on here at some point over Xmas day so just drop me a line if u want to talk x
I total understand what u mean I have a 4 year old and 13 year old with additional needs and he asks me lot of question about what's going on they can't speak to him,,, I said we can write a special letter to him which we have now turned into a thought box so that when he is out I can give him when ss say I can so he can understand what his actions have done to us all and I find that is helping I have also explained to my daughter he is not well but he loves her but can't be at home at the moment,, Xmas day I have clue about I know his parents are coming over to see the kids and we just going to take it hour by hour,,, like everyone has said have a cry if that helps,, have a glass of wine but don't judge your self for what ever u do,, we will be on here at some point over Xmas day so just drop me a line if u want to talk x
Hi micky and Lee
That what I keep telling my self it's just this one there are many more to come and I will try my very best if anything for me it's going to be when there in bed tonight and tomorrow that's going to be the hardest cause normal things are not going to happen just try that's all we can do xx
That what I keep telling my self it's just this one there are many more to come and I will try my very best if anything for me it's going to be when there in bed tonight and tomorrow that's going to be the hardest cause normal things are not going to happen just try that's all we can do xx