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Is there hope?

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Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Fri January 1, 2021 4:20pmReport post

Hello,



My husband has been accused of receiving an iioc on snapchat and then forwarding this one. Its a Cat C pic.

My husband opened his snapchat to the public and put his snapchat name onto an adult chat room asking women... I repeat - WOMEN for nudes etc. Why men do this I don't know.

Anyhow, he tells me he never asked and cant recolect seeing the picture however the police have confirmed it has gone in and has gone out.



If it is only 1 picture and there are no other pics, nothing is found on forensics that he has asked for it, nor searched anything to do with that either. Could there be a chance that it wouldnt go to court and let off with a caution? I.e then can see it wasnt asked for and was a mistake?



Thank you

Annie1969

Member since
November 2020

224 posts

Posted Fri January 1, 2021 5:46pmReport post

I wish I had an answer for you..my husband downloaded kik to chat to people , next minute, he's sent a puesdo image..phone was seized for forensic testing..he deleted this image as soon as it was sent.never viewed it..now after 12 months of investigating his phone, thousands of images were found..he has been consistent in his story from the very beginning, he never asked for these images, he never downloaded them, he never viewed them..he left the application open and boom the rest is history.

now he's been charged for being in possession of iioc..he's devastated and our family life for the past 12 months has been turned upside down..he's due in court in feb and we just don't know what will happen..

When it all started he was going to end his life to spare me and our daughter any further hurt.

he's now on anti-depressants and his anxiety levels are through the roof..he can't live at home with us at the moment and is only allowed contact in the community with our daughter and telephone calls which I have to supervise meaning the phone is on speaker.



if I said I wasn't angry with him then I'd be lying..of course I'm angry with him for being so,stupid to get into this hell hole of a mess in the first place..

I hope you get the answers you're looking for xx

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Fri January 1, 2021 6:42pmReport post

Hi Annie,



I'm so sorry to hear your story. It is so upsetting isnt it. Why do men get themselves into these situations?

I'm in a house that I can't afford if it comes back that he will go to court with a possible sentence, and also have children I dont want to have caught up in it all. I just feel like selling up and running. Its just a horrible situation to be in. One minute my life is normal and the next everything is ruined.



xx

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Fri January 1, 2021 11:11pmReport post

I cant find any info on 1 in 1 out. Its anightmare, all I see on here are horror stories, which obviously is more often than not for people which is so so awful and also so terrifying.

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Fri January 1, 2021 11:29pmReport post

Hi Lee,



So apparently my husband tells me he was on an adult chat room. So you dont register you just go on, make a name up and chat..

He put his snapchat name on the site and asked women to send him photos and videos. Makes me sick just thinking about it.

Anyhow, he says he gets drunk and does it when im in bed so not to be caught out by me.

Police knocked and when they sat me down they said snapchat have confirmed he has received 1 cat c iioc and its been forwarded on. you cant forward on snapchat so he would have received it....screenshot and forwarded it on.

firstly... who sent it? secondly who did he send it too? thirdly... WTF!



He says he cant rememebr seeing it at all and tells me he is too drunk.



That to me is scary as he doesnt know what he has done so i feel like police may come back with anything. What if he did ask for it?



IF he didnt ask for it and it was merely one cat c in. He hasnt realised what it was but sent it on to someone in the hope for a dirty pic back (pressuming it was a women and he was after a women photo back) then it would be an 'honest' mistake? I just dont know. im terrified.

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Fri January 1, 2021 11:34pmReport post

He alos admitted to me that he was sending videos of me (without my permission) to exchange with men. It's called 'hot wife' or something like that. So you send a vid of your wife in exhchange for a vid of theirs. Which also makes me think that maybe it is an honest mistake and was just sending it for stuff without realising it wasnt an adult.Clearly how desperate he was for a fix.

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Sat January 2, 2021 1:12amReport post

Yes. He was sending and receiving pics on a chat group. :-(

What made him think he had the right to send my stuff like I was a pawn in his game I have no idea. It disgusts me and I'm not even going to begin dealing with that until this bigger issue is sorted. Emotionally I'm drained from every angle though.

Its a cat c of a girl between the age of 10-12 years old apparently.

Snapchat informed the police as its an old picture that is 'well known' and if it circulates any social media platform it automatically flags up and gets reported. In this case it was on snapchat that it got flagged up and reported.

His phones been with forensics now for over 2 months.

He says he is pissed when he does it but he would never do that knowingly. I totally beleive him, however its happened and I camt work out how, other than he was sending and receiving so many filthy pics of women that it got lost in them all and he just didn't realise. That young though? How couldn't you. I just dont know. The whole thing sickens me. Every part of it.

Even down to waiting till I go to bed to do it.

I've asked for the videos of me on his phone to be deleted 2 years ago and he said why does he need too? No ones going to see them. Two years later here we are... sending my videos without consent to gain pictures and vids of other women. Its disgusting and its like he thinks he has a right of ownership of me, and the lack of respect is so great I just dont know what to do. With this iioc in the mix it makes it so much harder and almost makes me want to say screw it im out.

I just dont know how you can be that pissed you can't remember.

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Sat January 2, 2021 12:02pmReport post

Lee you're an absoloute star. So kind hearted, and helpful. Thank you so much.



I will talk further to my husband for information and solictors and if it's okay I'll catch up with you soon?



Sorry to hear how long you struggle with things. Is it all still going through your end, or have you come through it now? It's the most sickening feeling in the world isn't it. I just don't see a way out so I want to run so I can keep myself and my children safe because we are innocent in this. I dont want to become collateral damage. It would destroy me if my kids ended up getting bullied or hurt for something their Dad may or may not have done.



xx

Imploding

Member since
November 2020

39 posts

Posted Sat January 2, 2021 2:40pmReport post

Just wanted to say hi, Lee has given you brill practical advice.



My now ex partner was similar, apart from we used to go up to bed together every night and watch something I would always fall asleep first and he obviously had his little fantasy world online. It makes me feel sick. I spoke to the police only the other day who told me there was thousands of photos of other woman and they were surprised only a few of me. That hurts even though I want nothing to do with him. It's just layer upon layer of deceit isn't it. The phone he had at time of arrest he'd only had 3 weeks and contained nothing illegal but " concerning search history and thousands of images of woman ".



My story is a bit different as I really want him to be charged. In a way that consumes me. They haven't managed to get into his phone as it's been locked to iTunes and apparently that wipes data? I don't know but it's driving me insane. He was arrested for having a conversation online about my daughter. This was taken off somebody's phone who was arrested. They don't know what or if there is anything else and that kills me. He hasn't been honest, he told me this would all be cleared up and begged me not to hate him. Until I found out the details from the police they disclosed for safeguarding. I would've believed him as well. That's the scary thing. He's now 3 months on busy sleeping around whilst I've lost everything.

Its a mixed group on here I've found and though opinions and experiences differ I have found everyone supportive. Regardless of decisions as to stay/leave we've all had our worlds blown apart. Sending so much love.

Edited Sat January 2, 2021 2:41pm

Feelinghopelessinus

Member since
December 2020

4 posts

Posted Sat January 2, 2021 9:48pmReport post

Dear Colourful, my story is very similar to yours down to the 2 months since the knock. The difference is I am in the US, and the police say there were two images sent via Snapchat. Snapchat reported the images and the account. My husband has maintained his innocence throughout the entire process and says he doesn't remember ever seeing images of children although he was sent several images of women. He says he never sent any images himself on Snapchat to other people, and he deleted the account months ago. The police went through his phone the first week they had it and didn't find anything, so they sent it off to forensic investigators to search his phone backup files. He has not been arrested or charged. We have heard nothing since then. We live in fear every single day. I am due to have our first child in 2-3 weeks and am so scared he may not be there to witness the birth of his son. If he truly is innocent then I feel so sorry for him. All I can do right now is believe what he says is true and continue to live as normally as possible. We spoke to an attorney who said this really could happen to anyone who looks at porn and was not specifically looking for images of children because it is so rampant. I'm so sorry you are going through this too, but know you're not alone and I am thinking of you.

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Sun January 3, 2021 3:54pmReport post

Hey Lee1969,



Yet again he 'can't remember as he gets too pissed' but wants me to stand by him and wait to see what comes back from forensics before I decide to sell the house.



It makes sense BUT I'm scared I'll find out something sinister and have that plus a house sale on my hands. If people then find out about it then I'm unsafe too.



I made it clear it's not just this picture either. It's everything. The chatting to women online, the social services coming over, my kids witnessing 5 police coming into our house with a warrant.



My children should NEVER of had to go through any of this and I am so so angry that us 3 are all so innocent, hard working, normal friendly people with what we thought was the perfect life with standard bumps in the road like every family has.... Now we're tainted by his actions. I feel sick everytime I think about it.

I'm going to get my Mum to ring round solicitors for 1 C in and 1 C out and see what they say. Think I'll fall apart on the phone.

How can you be so helpful when you're going through absoloute hell yourself AND with so much on! Wow. You really are a strong women. I pray everything works out for you.

xx

Edited Sun January 3, 2021 4:01pm

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Sun January 3, 2021 3:57pmReport post

Hi imploding.

I am so sorry to hear what you're going through. This is truly awful for you. I really feel for you. To mention your daughter must just absoloutely terrify you. I would 100% be feeling and doing the same as you. If I ever found out either of my children were even spoken about I would be an absoloute wreck. You are so strong.

Thank you for your kind message.

Colourful

Member since
November 2020

32 posts

Posted Sun January 3, 2021 3:59pmReport post

Hi feelinghopelessinus



I hope you're having a better day today. Up's and downs each day isn't it. So apart from the fact my husband has actually saved this photo and sent it in, we're pretty similar. Even down to the time scale. I couldn't beleive there was such a large community of people going through this. It is truly awful.

I hope the phone comes back asap. We have been given a 6 month minimum time scale. It's only been 2 so far.

If you ever need to vent or talk then please do. Will also be thinking of you going through this awful time too. I hope it comes out clean for you all.

xx