Family and Friends Forum

One to giggle over at first, I've been sleeping terribly since the knock of course but when I do I have the most horrendously vivid dreams. I had one NYE where I had a fight ( guess who with ha ) and woke up with a bruise on my face! My eldest asked yesterday if I have a black eye and today my cheek is bruised. I must've been really going for it ???? not sure how I've managed to batter myself though.

I've been increasingly lost the last few weeks, have read on here but not posted because I just feel like I don't " fit " anymore. I'm no longer a family member of somebody because I ended it and I really want him to be charged now. That's been a shift. He has caused so much devastation to us all and he isn't being accountable or showing any remorse. I know of 3 girls he's slept with since his arrest and it makes me feel sick. Like I've been ridiculously stupid and naive but still this person doesn't correlate with the one I knew, lived with and loved. I miss that person but know it wasn't real because I know too much now. The police are struggling to get into his phone because it's been locked to iTunes, does this mean they can't or just that it'll take more time? Has anybody else had this. I've googled myself to death. The not knowing what else is out there is destroying me. I'm not hopeful that there'll be a conviction and I know that would be best case scenario for so many of you so I feel sorry for being so devastated by it.

Thanks Lee. You're right accountability and honesty is key. The last I saw him he was all " how could you think this I'd never I love you and them" if the police hadn't shown me the video of my daughter I think I'd probably have been able to believe him, and that he'd been caught up in something he hadn't intended. You're right there is so little support! Police told me few weeks ago they'll assign someone from victim support but nothing. I have both sides I guess the confusion and devastation that comes with the knock then the anger and despair that the conversation was about my child. I can't fathom that he won't be charged! This phone business is blowing my mind. Yet still when I'm hearing all this stuff and feeling this anger it's like it's about somebody else. Not the him I knew. I think he did very well at hiding himself to me as he's gone straight into scummy living. He used to always say " I hold you on a pedestal there's people and parts of my life I'll never let you be around " and I thought that was sweet at the time. This is the guy who would go out and ring to be picked up at 10! Now I'm finding out all this stuff as well as lots about drugs etc. I had no idea and it's destroying me.

The phone he gave when he was arrested he had only had 3 weeks and provided the PIN number for. When we got that phone he specifically said he didn't want an iPhone and wanted a new number I thought nothing of it at the time but I now know he got this new phone 2 days after the conversation they've found so adds up. His iPhone he was using before that was under the bed he asked me not to give police it.. he'd only had that one since feb and set it up as a new phone even letting me set it up make up the iCloud details with a daft nickname I use for him. He told me he lost his old phone on a night out which again I didn't question as it's plausible isn't it. The iPhone has been locked to iTunes. As far as I know it's been on the "machine" for weeks and they were going to email the company to see what else could be done. They told me the new phone that he'd had a few weeks didn't have kik on it which they know he'd had the convo in, obviously was a new phone number and though had 13k images ( in 3 weeks ) they weren't illegal and they were surprised to see only a few of me on there! Well I'm not because we lived together why would we be sending photos?! They told me " regardless of what happened we're glad you're out of that anyway, there was concerning search history" also because I'd been pregnant lost the baby at 24 weeks in September said " everything happens for a reason is cliche but it's for the best you didn't have that child " so can you imagine how insane I'm going?! What was he searching. It's sounding like the fact the phone has been locked to iTunes means they won't get data of it then which is frustrating because as a mum I need to know what else could and is out there. Also I don't believe he had a contact like that by accident so he's obviously been in this world. I also don't understand why with what they have isn't enough to charge.

Oh for goodness sake! I'm not sure which company they use. It's so irritating that there's no way around this, surely every criminal in Eve land would just lock the phone to iTunes if it meant the police couldn't get in. With what they have they know it's him. Conversation taken from guys phone who was arrested my IP address, contacted kik got his username and email address, even knew his name when came to door. Know he said he had access to children and would send images for cash. They know the date and the time and everything but said as image he sent wasn't indecent there might not be enough to charge! The conversation and intention was though. They said they'd also asked to come meet our girls and he said no.
This man who was my rock, kind, gentle, patient who wouldn't go up to bed without me to snuggle and watch tv but then would obviously get up and do this in the night. I'm devastated. I believe there will be more but it's awful if they don't find it. Any of these crimes are abhorrent and I know no one on here makes excuses and knows there's a real child behind every photo but the thought that that child could be mine makes me want to die. They told me my girls were at significant risk of harm and that was not the life we lived or so I thought.

Yea I think I will do, I knew the password for his iTunes account as it had been set up on my laptop so I've provided that. I had assumed you just restored everything but then I've never had ani thing to hide so wouldn't know really! I've googled digital forensics and might email a company. It's a bloody lonely gig this so thank you for your responses. Thinking about it I think the phones are with in force digital forensics as a quick google of our force shows they have a unit and the officer I've been speaking to has referred to them being with " head office " a few times. He did say they were going to email the company they get the equipnebt from to see what else they could try... I think anyway. Every call gets all mashed in my brain because there's always another blow but no progress. My girl had just turned 7 when he did this, she has autism and is still in nappies. She doesn't understand what is being asked of her or talked about or why he's gone she just adored him.

I know the password and would know the answers to the secret questions I imagine as I know everything about him.. or so I thought! I've provided iTunes password to the police. I thought from what I've looked at it looks like it wipes the phone then restores it from a backup however I dunno if app data is restored as I assume it's all gonna be within the app. I can see from my laptop logging into iTunes what apps he had etc I checked that very very early days. He'd told me he didn't have kik or know what it was but I could see he'd downloaded it. As well as something called cash app where you can send and receive money anonymously from my understanding? All stuff that was new to me!! Google hangouts, Skype things I didn't know he had oh and he'd downloaded WhatsApp but neither of the numbers I have for him are registers to a WhatsApp account! Probably worth me reaching out to somebody in digital forensics to be sure.

But if I found a company who would do it would the police even hand it over? Maybe I just need to know for sure so I can be armed with a yes it can be done response. Thank you