Family and Friends Forum

I don't have children, so can't really comment on that aspect. But this is what I did before my husband moved back to show police / probation I was taking it seriously.

Changed Wifi password

Added a pin on my smart TV to access the internet

Enabled the child safety settings on my virgin router

Created him his own login on the laptop to keep his internet activity separate from mine.

Insisted that he could only use the internet when I was around. This was also because his SHPO has a lot of conditions and he was anxious about accidentally doing something he shouldn't.

Double checked everything on the laptop to ensure that it wouldn't delete his internet history unintentionally. McAfee was set to periodically delete temp internet files etc to free up space so had to disable that setting. (Still paranoid that it'll re-enable itself)

I read the SOR requirements and his SHPO to ensure that I understood them.

Requested a meeting with probation and his police manager.

His was a communication offence (decoy) - 16 months suspended for 2 years and SHPO.

If SS are trying to use your previous experience against you, I wonder if you can spin that experience around to a positive for you. In that you have experience in how serious these offended are.

I think the steps you have taken already is great and is what the police will be happy to see. I have no involvement with SS but my partner's police liaison asks me each time she visits to check he doesn't know my passwords. I also ask for my partner's passwords to online accouts for websites so that I can check in on what he is saying. The police seem happy with this too.

Also as a fyi as part of the SHPO my partner had software downloaded by the police for his laptop (it was about a year after his sentence I will admit that they got around to it. But nothing for his phone yet..).

Hi Vickie

Facebook terms and conditions are such that anyone convicted for these offences cannot have a facebook account. My husband's was deleted before sentencing.

He only goes online now for things like online banking, and actually doesn't miss it. He talks to friends on the phone who previously he'd only have messaged via Facebook etc.

I know what you mean about spending more quality time rather than both sitting their on our phones.

We've all been conditioned that we need the internet and social media etc, but the reality is we actually don't need it as much as we first think. Sure some things are easier with it, or quicker. My husband watches the news / listens to the radio / buys paper rather than reading the news online for example.

He did have a joke with anyone who asked him to scan in during the summer, showing them his 'dumb phone'!!

The thing that he is finding is that people assume you have an email address and internet and make it harder for you to contact / deal with them if you don't. He uses my email address for things like online banking, doctors etc.

I won't claim life is easy living with someone on the register. We do have the plain clothed police turning up, they read the texts on his phone (so no privacy there). Even though it wasn't in the paper, some people have found out. It probably took me a year to become less paranoid about being out and people saying stuff etc. Lockdown really helped with that as there was a lot less people about. Sure it's a different life to perhaps what I thought we might have, but a lot of the things which he now can't do, where not things we would have done anyway, like foreign holidays.

Sounds like moving will be good for you on all counts.

As for foreign travel, some countries that require visas will not grant them to those with convictions, regardless of what it is for. Currently you can still travel within the EU, but whether that will continue who knows. You also have to notify if you leave the country and can expect that there might be additional questions when going through immigration.

I'm interested in the answers about restrictions after sentencing on internet use, didn't know about stopping use of Facebook- is this the same for all other sites like Instagram, and what's app??



what effect might there be on internet use for work? He has work laptop and work mobile phone

The police will probably ask in a visit which social media accounts they are using. My husband only had Facebook so I never looked into the others.

I just checked Instagram - they specifically exclude sex offenders

What's app doesn't specifically call out excluding sex offenders in their terms and conditions at this time, but I for see that changing.

The risk with social media, and any online communication channel like chat rooms and forums is that it is really easy to end up interacting with someone who is under 16 without knowing it. Depending on SHPO conditions you could easily find those being breached and the police take that seriously. Therefore I strongly recommend that anyone convicted stays away from these types of sites and apps.

Using a computer at work is interesting, again doesn't apply to my husband as he decided to take early retirement before sentencing. In theory he would be required to make any devices he uses available to the police to be checked and so that would include any work devices. Some offenders are also required to have logging software installed by the police to monitor their internet use, and you may not want to be having that conversation with your boss!

You could try the unlock helpline, they may have more of an idea. Ultimately it could come down to what SHPO restrictions are put in place and what his specific risk manager and probation officer agree to. I do know some offenders will avoid office jobs where they need to use a work computer to avoid this situation.

As stated above depends on the conditions of the SHPO but also the attitude of the police liaison, well that is the case for my partner.

He is still on social media and police are aware. When they do checks they look through that and his what's app. I'm not sure but I think the fact he is on social media leaves his risk greater than low. He hasn't had a review of his risk on a while due to covid hold ups.

A year after he was sentenced he got software on his laptop to monitor. It doesn't track what he is doing but will flag up search's or websites and images and videos of concern.

He has a work computer which the police has details of but they have never checked it. I assume they would if they have reason to suspect he reoffends.

He did remove Kik because that caused concern and his risk was deemed higher because of it.