Family and Friends Forum

I wouldn't imagine for one minute that an offender would be able to do a counselling type of role.

A 'normal' life I'd imagine would be incredibly hard to lead especially if there were restrictions put in place such as being on the SOR. Whilst I'd like to think after this has been dealt with life would be normal, I very much doubt it. It's going to be constant work for someone like my Husband who has a porn and sex addiction to lead as normal a life as possible, just like an alcoholic or a drug addict, it will take work to not fall off the wagon.

Unfortunately I agree. The offence is so stigmatised that people would give them a chance it seems hard enough to have unsupervised contact with their own children let alone a safeguarding role with responsibility.



my ex is not inherently bad. He is just very vulnerable and stupid. I don’t even know if he can keep his own job.

I haven’t heard many stories of redemption. The police officer said this offence wrecks lifes.

i would love to see stories of men coming out the other side happier and dealing with the issues leading to offending but I don’t know.

i supposed the main support role would be speaking out to other men who have got similar difficulties as an advisor. But in the press the men that are confident to speak out always seem to have their faces blurred out.

sorry for negative post. Like I said I would love to see some positives. But think these are from people who’s partners probably stick by them. My ex is still in the self pity denial it was that bad stage. The most I hope for is he can keep a regular job.

People wouldn’t give them a chance I mean

I think a relatively normal life is possible. As the others have said there is not really any chance they could work with children even after the conviction is spent. But they could work with other offenders to help them onto to right path. Im hoping normal life is possible, i know people can and do address their issues, have a job, friends and family but i guess its a different normal.

That’s good I need some hope too. You’d sin is very brave confronting these issues. I am sure he appreciates you greatly and having family support helps with the long term recovery. What a journey for everyone to travel.

Son not sin obviously

Good luck tomorrow xxx

Good luck tomorrow x

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow, try and look after yourselves xx

Thoughts are with you and your family tomorrow

xxx

Firstly Jono, good luck for tomorrow wish someone had told me to pack when my husband was sentenced, we had no advice there.

Anyway, my husband has been out 6 months now, he attends probation weekly, they are pleased at how he is doing. He has a job and has had since September. Although we can't live together, we speak daily and see each other when we can.

We are trying to satisfy children's services with all there requirements Although he has conditions, the majority of the time it does not affect his daily life. Although he is nervous and cannot stand busy shops. Christmas was a nightmare in the supermarket.

Snuggles

Lots of love and luck today Jono x

Good luck today. Today is the day that the new journey begins. Sending love x

That really is good news to hear Jono. I was truly hoping and praying a custodial sentence wouldn’t be the outcome and your sons barrister was preparing you for the very worst outcome whilst holding out for the best. Tomorrow is another day and another new step forwards in your lives. Good luck for the future, all of you.

This is such good news. What a rollercoaster of emotions you must have felt and what a relief. You deserve a good night sleep. Your son sounds so brave for coming through this and really reflected on the situation he got himself. Not all the men are this strong.

love to you and your family! What a journey.

Xxxx

Im really glad you got a better result than you feared. I hope now you can all move on to better things and your son can continue on journey to get rid of all his addictions, sounds like hes already making good progress.

That's a huge weight off your mind. Hope you had a great sleep!

Amazing news that your son is 30 days clean, I hope he carries this on.

Well done to your son for being clean I really hope this continues for you all.

I'm so glad for you that is not as bad as you thought it would be.

What is the court order, what does that mean? Sorry I'm being a bit thick but I don't understand it all

Enjoy a good night's sleep, you deserve it xx

What a relief for you all, now he can begin his journey of recovery.

We are 5 weeks in, I’ve been reading this forum everyday clinging to hope but not knowing what else to write since my initial post!

My husband hasn’t has access to the internet in this time but he was finding it difficult, more impossible as he needs emails and maps for his work as a driver. So yesterday he got a new phone which I set up with parental controls, no internet he just has what he needs to get by. He’s currently going through mental health and hopefully will be given what he needs to deal with his issues from the past to understand how he got in this mess. The way I see it, the more he gets started on before court the better.

Jono1 - really pleased for you and your son that this outcome was the least bad. In terms of him being clean/sober - that’s great. Both AA and NA are great 12 step programmes if he wants more support with that. There is also Al Anon for those affected by others’ substance misuse - I knew a few people who have found its support invaluable x