Family and Friends Forum

Hi Simple.
Sorry to hear how you feel. I too feel so helpless towards my husband who is due to be sentenced within weeks. The closer we get the more upsetting he's getting. I have finally spoken to my GP yesterday and have some medication to try and help and we discussed counselling in the future but it's just such an awful situation when literally nothing seems like it will resolve this mess. We have no children (had hoped to start this year) and will likely conclude to separate so we can move forward.

I'm sorry I can't give much advice apart from I felt telling a best friend helped to know I have someone other than immediate family I can talk to if needed. But I want you to know your feelings are normal and I believe many women on here when they say it will get better post sentencing and with time.

This is a man you had built a life with abs loved, probably still love! It is absolutely normal to feel like this to see he's struggling. Feeling concern for him is natural but I realise we all have to be careful of how that comes across. I have no words of wisdom just hope and pray you get a restful night, sending so much love

i, just thought I'd respond as my mum felt similar. She originally was going to leave my dad however she said she had built a life with him so it was hard.



my mum decided to stay with my dad, and help him as it was obvious it was mental health and we could see the remorse. I'm not saying you do the same, but just know that how your feeling is completely normal!! it's human to feel empathetic towards someone especially someone you've built a life with, it's how you deal with this empathy, you have to find what suits you! If you think talking to him and helping him will help you then do that; however if you feel like distancing yourself and focusing on you and your life then do that, there's no right or wrong answer on how you deal with this as no case is the same.



im not sure if this will help, as like I say it's what suits you! but don't beat yourself up for feeling the way you are, it's still early days for you and you will start to feel more settled about it, it just takes time xx

Simple, your right it is an absolute nightmare! I remember thinking every second of the day that I would wake up, but it just never happened! I used to find i was crying randomly and wouldn't even know I was! but now, one year down the line- almost exactly, I feel ok! I feel stronger then what I ever have, I have a 1 month old little girl and my dads a grandad for the first time! So even though my dad being arrested and charged was an awful shock, we then had a lovely shock 3 months later that I was pregnant! So there is light for everyone on here, Just proof that it takes time, but it does get easier!



it's ok to be subdued, it's how your mind is processing it all! The people who are supporting you will understand why you need this time, it's important you get enough time with yourself to come to terms with it all! So don't feel guilty for that; and like you say, focus on yourself and your boys! I imagine your children will help you stay strong as well xx