Family and Friends Forum

I found out yesterday my husbands nan has passed away and I have done nothing but phone the prison to try to talk to him to tell him and no body is getting back to me,,

The prison was well spoke to another family member and she was like u know he will not get leave and we like we not asked for that I just want to tell him she gone can't stop crying xx

Update I have finally got in touch with my husband he is hear broken,, all I want to do is thro my arms around him and tell him its OK,,

I really hope this does not set him back he going to try and ring me later so we can have a good chat,,

Yes hun he is cause tried bailing him and had no address to go to and he was worried he would get a prison sentence so he said he would stay where he was as he was guilty and wanted to be punished for his crime,,

Was very emotional at the moment but is talking waiting for probation to contact him was meant to be their 4 Jan,, back 4 Feb to court x

I am OK now I know he knows and talking to mental health x

Thank u lee

Yes it has defo made me see him in a different light and want to defo make it and like u said we have had lots of battles in the 10 years and means lots that most men would of walked away from,,

When I had my darks moments he was there to pick me up and carry me thro,, now its my turn we are very strong together and I now feel we are becoming stronger apart and will be even stronger once we on the other side of this,,

Yes we might not be able to do all the things we plan but as long as I have my family that's all that matters to me xxx

Thank u again Lee for inspiring me again x x

Someone asked me that very question the other day and then they turn to me and said what is love I said when ur heart hurts so much u think it going to stop,, it feels like ur drowning and can't come up for air,, he all I think about just. Just like my kids it's emotion that God I did not think I would ever feel so strongly for someone and cause I of My passed trauma but I have thro learnt life is for living and not not in the passed our relationship has been very hard because of other things and stressful but he is the one I want and that's it does that make sense xxx

Thank u lee

That's my auntie keeps telling I have just my hubby and letter of how I feel and how I want to move forward,,

Lee I have let go off so much thro this and yes we can be happy and we can do this oh Lee if we could meet I would want to cause yes everyone on here has give me strength and support but have really inspired me broken it all down to bit size chucks and been able to deal with it so thank u so much lee

I feel I have made friend x

Thanks lee

Thanks for ur support but I am final moving forward sowly,, how are u doing lee in your journey x

Bless u hun well not heard from our ss at all since before Xmas and now just waiting probation then sentencing,, putting things into place x

But finding it easier to talk to my hubby about things now fingers cross for spended sentence x

They want the probation report done for court on the 4 Feb I just praying it gets done,,

Cause I can't do with having to wait for another court day cause of covid,, had a anuf of covid now don't mean to sound mean but I worked as a support work thro out the first locked down and it stressed me out so bad and people are doing great jobs,,,

OK thanks lee

Hi Lee

May I ask u a question when u did a statement for ur partner what kind of things have u put in it,,

I have just put about life in general and how my partner had his fit and never really recovered and never fully settled with his depression x

Thank u lee

Ur so amazing I so hope that ur get dealt with soon and we can all move on and start new life's with our love ones x

So u mean like how long I know my partner,,

Medical history and like family history like,,,

And how we will deal with the future am I on the right lines,,

Can I put how this has affect my kids behaviour,,

I only asked about the medical history because he has depression and has amited to not taking his medication and he always normal did but when locked came in to force's I was called into work more because of being a support worker and key worker so he was left at home more and I was not checking if he was taking them because I had more to deal with and he was dealing with everything at home with the kids I am not saying this is a reason but what he has said and the things I have thro about it makes sense,,

I think xx

OK Lee

Should be able to do that thro the doctor,,

The prison know hes on antidresspions and eplicpilsy medication tto so does his solicitor,,

Like I said I am not using it to say this is what defo is the case but from what he has said and what I have seen I believe both of us have been under a lot of stress and not dealt with it and I do think this has added to it and I just wounded whether it's worth putting it in like about my job and lock down and this is what I believe has happened,,

And I do understand more than most how important family support counts in case like ours because of my job being a support worker of individual of mental health and forensic histories but this is what the social has tried using against me,,

The thing that hurts is that in my line of work u are given a lot of training and learn how to understand and how to try and help individuals from reafending but now I see why a lot of people don't like ss and get very worried about them to,,

I don't think she even finish her report and have not heard from her since Xmas and at moment can't get thro to the office x

Well just got off the phone to ss and think we are starting to turn corners I explained I wanted all information and that I understand the risk of his crime but I also believe that there is medagating facts in play yes he a adult and we learn from what we have done but also he has to have the chance to show he has change,, I explained he wants help,, that I am talking to stop it now help line and on here that I want to do the course and so does he,, I am happy to go under a child protection plan and getting all the information I can she said she still has concerns but like I said I only can put into place to protect I can rewrite the past can only go forward and she then said she going to speak to her manager and doing a team meeting and said ok,, so I think we turning a corner,, but again she still said about her personal view again,,

What do u think lee,, do u think I am getting my hopes u

Rusty

That's my fear that I say out loud I am going to stay and everyone on me and my family,,

Its hard to get anyone feels like none wants to help u and when u try people like are u mad for wanting to do this,,

I am trying and I have told my partner if he's open I will try xx

How are u doing and feeling.

Like said to Lee yes I do understand it and that why me and my partner are talking and we have agreed for now that he is not going to come home straight away and we are going to start with phone calls with the kids after he has been to court and see what court sentencing is,,, yes like I always said he's done wrong but my kids have not why should they lose their dad he has work to do and he knows that and understand that,, same as he want to be the one to tell his daughter why he is not at home with us and to give her all the fact when she the right age to make the right decision for her,,

I like I start I always wanted to do this the safety's of ways and to protect my kids to the fullest I can xxx

Hi rusty

How about just trying to be friends and hanging out and doing family thing just tell him that,,,

I am OK just wake up today very tired and but another week over and another week together though they are slowly getting easier to get xx

It's so rubbish mate can't wait for covid to do one now and start some new starts,,

How u doing today rusty I am so tired again today doing the house work I think I am mental tired today.

Hi rusty

Today has been a really hard day ss rang and I fell into the trap she was like u OK and how u been got ur child protection plan,,, I was like yea we are OK kids OK,, then I said that I was told that in the conversation he was having he brought my daughter into it and said he had feeling for her and didn't know if he would act on them,, I then tried explain that I had asked him again and he said no it made him feel sick,, but as I am talking she talking over me that people don't just wake up one morning and do this,, the feelings are there toward her or are not,, she then went on to say she had big concerns,, if he was remorsful in any way then why did he not tell me the night he did it or report it to the police,, then I tried saying he was not on his medication and thinking straight cause thats what he's mental health worker said then she was like nope sorry medication for despession is not going to make u think like that,, then it was like I got to go I have a meeting and I try and ring later if not tomorrow cause I have got to do ur assessment that it and put the phone down,.

I just feel like she not listening and always giving me her opinion,, she not given me any advice on what to do by the fact I am depressed and need tablets blow her out the water when I told her I am already on them,,,

Like who's going to running around singing when this is all going on and aspecial lot Xmas as well.