Feeling lost
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I feel so lost tonight. Its past 1am and I just can't sleep. I feel like our entire lives have changed and I feel so unbelievably stressed. I feel fragile all the time, so vulnerable and I cry a lot which isn't like me. I feel like the knock was like a bomb going off in the middle of our close family unit and now all we're left with is these shattered piece of fragments that we have to try and make something out of. Although there's no support really. And it's not like a death because a death you can tell all of your family and friends. And people understand why you aren't yourself because you're grieving. But in this situation I feel like I'm grieving for what we had, the closeness that I felt and relied upon for my entire life. Until now. And I don't understand this new life we were given. Except none of us asked for it. I feel so alone. And numb really. And just so sad.
Oh JE I'm so sorry love, it's incredibly traumatic when the police come round. Do you have children? I'm so sorry this is happening to you. It really helped me to talk on this forum in the first few days. I let it all out and about what my husband has done. There's a lot of support and info on here so reach out. I found the live chat on here really helpful and I've used it a couple of times. With me my sleep was horrendous the first few nights and I cried a lot. I rang the doctor and he was brilliant, gave me something to help with sleep and referred me to counselling. Definately try and get help right now with all your physical needs, I know you won't want to eat but if you can try and do a big shop then you are organised for the week. I'm just a week into all this. We got the police round last Thursday, took my husbands phone and laptop and arrested him but released on bail. He was very remorseful with me and very very upset at what he's done ( looked at child porn and saved photos). Take care and come on here to chat, it really helped me finding ladies who are in the same horrible club xx
Thank you Louise. Sorry I should have said, it's been 6 months since the knock. I think with lockdown as well it feels like we're stuck in time. I don't have children. I have tried sleeping tablets before but not really got on with them, felt so drowsy the day after. I go back to work on Monday and I think that will be a good distraction.
I just want you to know you are not alone.w
When I read your message it was as if I had written it. You have taken the words right out of my mouth.
people do not realise what it feels like to have the knock.
My life is in Limbo, not helped by lockdown, but one thing i know is that i am strong and this may have destroyed my life, but i will put it back together somehow. Iam strong and so are you.
When I read your message it was as if I had written it. You have taken the words right out of my mouth.
people do not realise what it feels like to have the knock.
My life is in Limbo, not helped by lockdown, but one thing i know is that i am strong and this may have destroyed my life, but i will put it back together somehow. Iam strong and so are you.
Thank you limbo.
It is such a difficult position to be in. And really frustrating because we didn't do anything wrong. Someone close to us did.
I hope you are doing okay, I have some days that are better than others. Tonight I feel really anxious about the future.
We are not alone in this x
It is such a difficult position to be in. And really frustrating because we didn't do anything wrong. Someone close to us did.
I hope you are doing okay, I have some days that are better than others. Tonight I feel really anxious about the future.
We are not alone in this x
Hi JE. Sadly we are not alone. I did not realise how many people were going through this. I have waited 9 months to use this forum, but wish i had done it ages ago. the police officer dealing with my husbands case recommended it to me, but i thought I could cope.
However 2 weeks before Christmas I had massive panic attacks and really bad anxiety. I have suffered with anxiety since my first husband died of cancer 12 years ago. This resulted in my son in law having to drive 100 miles to pick me up and take me to stay with them until New Year. Kuckily this was just days before lockdown.
I have now sold my house and moving nearer to my family as I can not bear living here on my own. My husband was my world and I had a lovely house by the sea and a job i really enjoy. I have decided to give it all up, get a divorce, change my name and find a new job.
Lots of people have stuck by their partners and I really admire this. However mine refused to discuss, admit or even apologise for the utter mayhem he has caused. The day he left he said he did not want to go and that I am making him homeless.
It truely broke my heart saying goodbye. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him I forgive him, but iIam still so angry at the way he has blown our world apart. I feel he never even tried to save us and I no longer trust him, due to other things i have found out about since.
However 2 weeks before Christmas I had massive panic attacks and really bad anxiety. I have suffered with anxiety since my first husband died of cancer 12 years ago. This resulted in my son in law having to drive 100 miles to pick me up and take me to stay with them until New Year. Kuckily this was just days before lockdown.
I have now sold my house and moving nearer to my family as I can not bear living here on my own. My husband was my world and I had a lovely house by the sea and a job i really enjoy. I have decided to give it all up, get a divorce, change my name and find a new job.
Lots of people have stuck by their partners and I really admire this. However mine refused to discuss, admit or even apologise for the utter mayhem he has caused. The day he left he said he did not want to go and that I am making him homeless.
It truely broke my heart saying goodbye. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and tell him I forgive him, but iIam still so angry at the way he has blown our world apart. I feel he never even tried to save us and I no longer trust him, due to other things i have found out about since.