My Ex is being charged.
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Hi everyone. I'm a bit shook up, I don't know if I've posted here before, even though I joined back when this all started, so a bit of back story:
I had a visit from the police in December 2019 to be informed that my ex partner, father of my children, was under investigation for possessing indecent images of children, they'd been to visit him before coming to me and had taken all of his electrical equipment. They had contacted children's services to put a safety plan in place and the investigation would take 3-6 month. Children's services helped put a safety plan together so he could visit the children at his parents, advised me that he'd admitted to downloading images of children over 15 and then everything went dark until today. If I'm honest I was scared to get in contact with the police for an update, because if they came back saying they were taking no further action I'd spend the rest of my children's childhood wondering, and panicking about the safety of their friends.
I got a phone call from a member of Social Services today to check that we were still following the safety plan as social services had been informed *yesterday* that he was being charged. That was it, he couldn't tell me if my ex already knew he was being charged and he and his parents had failed to tell me, or if he hasn't been contacted yet, he couldn't tell me how long it would take to go to court, or any of what happens next. It doesn't look like he's been arrested as he's still posting inane posts in chat groups. And of course I can't now find the details for the police officer that I was given over a year ago, so the rest of my day will be spent trying to find that.
What the heck do I do now? I just want to hold my children and never let them go. He told his parents he accidentally downloaded some images and deleted them as soon as he knew what they were... if he's being charged that means it wasn't an accident right?
I had a visit from the police in December 2019 to be informed that my ex partner, father of my children, was under investigation for possessing indecent images of children, they'd been to visit him before coming to me and had taken all of his electrical equipment. They had contacted children's services to put a safety plan in place and the investigation would take 3-6 month. Children's services helped put a safety plan together so he could visit the children at his parents, advised me that he'd admitted to downloading images of children over 15 and then everything went dark until today. If I'm honest I was scared to get in contact with the police for an update, because if they came back saying they were taking no further action I'd spend the rest of my children's childhood wondering, and panicking about the safety of their friends.
I got a phone call from a member of Social Services today to check that we were still following the safety plan as social services had been informed *yesterday* that he was being charged. That was it, he couldn't tell me if my ex already knew he was being charged and he and his parents had failed to tell me, or if he hasn't been contacted yet, he couldn't tell me how long it would take to go to court, or any of what happens next. It doesn't look like he's been arrested as he's still posting inane posts in chat groups. And of course I can't now find the details for the police officer that I was given over a year ago, so the rest of my day will be spent trying to find that.
What the heck do I do now? I just want to hold my children and never let them go. He told his parents he accidentally downloaded some images and deleted them as soon as he knew what they were... if he's being charged that means it wasn't an accident right?
Hi mama bear
The police and cps have to have enough evidence and proof in order to make charges happen. This was told to me when I spoke to an officer about my exs case. The cps weigh up the evidence and if they believe its in public interest to charge then they will.
I couldn't find any info out until charges were made. This is to protect the accused and to stop the case being dropped.
I have read on here cases were men have claimed images have downloaded unknowingly, sometimes attached to legal porn but it is very hard to find out if that is the whole truth.
When you find the officer you need to speak to could you not stress that you need to know the risks around your children (which I'm sure you will anyway)
I feel for you as this is a horrendous situation having children with this man.
Sending you love and strength x
The police and cps have to have enough evidence and proof in order to make charges happen. This was told to me when I spoke to an officer about my exs case. The cps weigh up the evidence and if they believe its in public interest to charge then they will.
I couldn't find any info out until charges were made. This is to protect the accused and to stop the case being dropped.
I have read on here cases were men have claimed images have downloaded unknowingly, sometimes attached to legal porn but it is very hard to find out if that is the whole truth.
When you find the officer you need to speak to could you not stress that you need to know the risks around your children (which I'm sure you will anyway)
I feel for you as this is a horrendous situation having children with this man.
Sending you love and strength x
I believe it is deemed still a chargeable offense to delete iioc and 'ignore it' , even when accidental. I guess depends how often these accidents occured....Time scales of what happens next is hard to say due to covid but once he has his chages he can get decide whether to go for a guilty or not guilty plea. The first court date will be at magistrates court. If pleading not guilty it will go to trial with a jury.
If pleading guilty I believe a pre sentence report from probation is submitted to the judge which outlines risks to children, the public etc. I am not sure whether you would be able to see this. Depending on the severity of the charges the sentencing will be a magistrates or crown. In most iioc cases it is crown court.
I'm not sure how you can find the actual charges. In theory it should be public information available when he is seen at court. If he is sentenced probation do a risk assessment (if he is in prison I assume this is done on release). Again you might not be able to see this report but as the mother of his kids I would hope you would have access to his probation officer to ask questions. I have a good relationship with my partner's probation officer.
If pleading guilty I believe a pre sentence report from probation is submitted to the judge which outlines risks to children, the public etc. I am not sure whether you would be able to see this. Depending on the severity of the charges the sentencing will be a magistrates or crown. In most iioc cases it is crown court.
I'm not sure how you can find the actual charges. In theory it should be public information available when he is seen at court. If he is sentenced probation do a risk assessment (if he is in prison I assume this is done on release). Again you might not be able to see this report but as the mother of his kids I would hope you would have access to his probation officer to ask questions. I have a good relationship with my partner's probation officer.
Thank you for the reply's :) I've managed to find the details for the police officer who originally visited, so I'm going to call her in the morning to see what kind of update I can get r.e. what happens next.
The man from children's services seemed to think that the police and therefore they were happy for him to continue seeing the children under the guidelines of the safety plan we have, so my main concern is wanting to know what they've found, and how much they've found and thus an idea of what punishment he could be looking at and how long that could take. My other concern is if this means he's going to be sitting some sort of public trial how likely is he to end up with his name plastered somewhere public in a way that could come back to bite the children, because if so I think the time has come to demand that we change their surname to mine.
Think my mind is spiralling because we were advised 3-6 months initially and with it being so long I'd come to assume I'd get a letter in the post one day saying they weren't taking any further action *sighs* xx
The man from children's services seemed to think that the police and therefore they were happy for him to continue seeing the children under the guidelines of the safety plan we have, so my main concern is wanting to know what they've found, and how much they've found and thus an idea of what punishment he could be looking at and how long that could take. My other concern is if this means he's going to be sitting some sort of public trial how likely is he to end up with his name plastered somewhere public in a way that could come back to bite the children, because if so I think the time has come to demand that we change their surname to mine.
Think my mind is spiralling because we were advised 3-6 months initially and with it being so long I'd come to assume I'd get a letter in the post one day saying they weren't taking any further action *sighs* xx
Thank you Majestic' that's all really useful info, I've joined a Facebook group which lists the cases being seen at the local courts so I'm hoping it will help to keep an eye on there if he isn't forthcoming about his charges.