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Hi all
A close family member is being investigated under the charges of viewing indecent images online.
The police raided the house in the middle of the night and confiscated all electronic devices.
The family member has been very honest about his involvement.
I feel sick to my stomach about all this,
i cannot believe it, I don’t know where to turn
I feel ashamed and disgusted, I feel traumatised
and yet also feel a sense of responsibility to
the family member like I have to be there for him
so he doesn’t kill him self.
I can’t look at him the same way, I feel like he’s
a bad man, when I used to think he was the
kindest person ever.
I feel grief like I’ve lost someone. I’m also scared
about what will happen next.
Feel very alone and anxious, feel sick and
can’t understand why he would look at such things
and just don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning.
Don’t want to face anyone, or do anything.
I cant even explain my behaviour to anyone
because of the sensitive nature of this all.
I feel angry too, because apparently this has
been going on for many years. I don’t know
what the future holds for my family, I dread
to think what court trials we may have to attend
and what we may have to hear at them,
i don’t think I’ve said this about any other thing
in my life but I truly cannot cope with this.
Anything but this.
This is just the worst thing I could ever imagine.
Has anyone who has gone through with this got
any advice for me please? The helpline is busy.
A close family member is being investigated under the charges of viewing indecent images online.
The police raided the house in the middle of the night and confiscated all electronic devices.
The family member has been very honest about his involvement.
I feel sick to my stomach about all this,
i cannot believe it, I don’t know where to turn
I feel ashamed and disgusted, I feel traumatised
and yet also feel a sense of responsibility to
the family member like I have to be there for him
so he doesn’t kill him self.
I can’t look at him the same way, I feel like he’s
a bad man, when I used to think he was the
kindest person ever.
I feel grief like I’ve lost someone. I’m also scared
about what will happen next.
Feel very alone and anxious, feel sick and
can’t understand why he would look at such things
and just don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning.
Don’t want to face anyone, or do anything.
I cant even explain my behaviour to anyone
because of the sensitive nature of this all.
I feel angry too, because apparently this has
been going on for many years. I don’t know
what the future holds for my family, I dread
to think what court trials we may have to attend
and what we may have to hear at them,
i don’t think I’ve said this about any other thing
in my life but I truly cannot cope with this.
Anything but this.
This is just the worst thing I could ever imagine.
Has anyone who has gone through with this got
any advice for me please? The helpline is busy.
Im so sorry you are going through this but know that you are not alone. Right now im sure you have so many things and emotions running through your mind, as hard as it will be to do take a step back from it all and try to find something to do that will help you relax. Your relative is still the person you know and care for, they may feel like a stranger right now but all these mixed feelings are normal. It will get easier in time. When the helpline are open keep calling you will get through. If you or your relative are in need of support especially for suicidal thoughts you can call Samaritans 24/7. Its such a shock and its going to take time process all thats going on.
Maria and poster offer good advice and reflection on things. I am only a month in and the news floored me how can the information fit with the person you know and love. It really is a mix of emotions.
as people said to me take one hour at a time. And practice self care. There is a lot of judgmental people in the media but on the forum you can get an honest response from people.
The offenders are humans too often with their own inner demons. Some men actually grow stronger from the knock and others can’t accept it.
thpugh your priory is your well-being at the moment, your family members was obviously a significant person in your life to reach out to the forum and hope over the ne t few weeks and months we can travel the journey with you.
as I said before take an hour at a time and remember to breathe.
Love to you through this time
beth Lou xxx
as people said to me take one hour at a time. And practice self care. There is a lot of judgmental people in the media but on the forum you can get an honest response from people.
The offenders are humans too often with their own inner demons. Some men actually grow stronger from the knock and others can’t accept it.
thpugh your priory is your well-being at the moment, your family members was obviously a significant person in your life to reach out to the forum and hope over the ne t few weeks and months we can travel the journey with you.
as I said before take an hour at a time and remember to breathe.
Love to you through this time
beth Lou xxx
Hi clueless... youll be ok.. as will your family member... were all here.. all in this nightmare .. we all..every single one of us know what and how u are feeling.. shock..horrified..devastated.. mortified..the list of emotions goes on and on . And some of them you cant even explain....with the right support you all will be ok.. im not sugar coating this.. its a damn nightmare.. i myself am only 5 wks post knock.. its not easy .. but you hang in there. .. big hugs sent to u all right now xxxx
Hi Clueless
As everyone has said take each hour, then each day, soon it will turn into weeks. I’m 5 weeks post knock, I couldn’t face anyone to begin with, but in time have told my parents, and 1 friend I can talk to at work. Hang on in there, keep coming back here, someone will always reply, also have a read through this site, it helps to understand, something none of us thought we’d have to research! Take your time and hang on in there xxxx
As everyone has said take each hour, then each day, soon it will turn into weeks. I’m 5 weeks post knock, I couldn’t face anyone to begin with, but in time have told my parents, and 1 friend I can talk to at work. Hang on in there, keep coming back here, someone will always reply, also have a read through this site, it helps to understand, something none of us thought we’d have to research! Take your time and hang on in there xxxx
Hi - it honestly does get better. Or should I say it’s not that it gets better, but your feelings about it become more manageable. You are having an understandable reaction. But your family member is more than the worst thing they have ever done. As it says on the website (I think), good people do bad things.
im only a few weeks in, but on day one I could hardly walk up the road. But this morning I was chatting to a stranger on a walk, so it has changed in even this short space of time. X
im only a few weeks in, but on day one I could hardly walk up the road. But this morning I was chatting to a stranger on a walk, so it has changed in even this short space of time. X
Thanks so much to everyone, I didn’t think anyone
had replied or cared about my story
but when I logged in I found such lovely
messages from u all.
im so sorry that we all have to go through
this, it’s so unfair and I wouldn’t
wish it on anyone.
It was very hard to read that the offender
is still the person I know and care for
and that they are more than the worst thing
they’ve done but I know that this must be
true, and that perhaps in time I will
feel this way, although now I just want to
disown him but we are seeing him tonight
so will try and have a more positive
mental approach to this all.
Yesterday I spent time with my friends
and maybe
because they don’t know I actually had
a good time and laughed and for some
moments this terrible dread/anxiety
left me.
I wish for things to get better for you all
and that u can all move on from this
as I wish to do.
Love to you all and keep strong everyone x
had replied or cared about my story
but when I logged in I found such lovely
messages from u all.
im so sorry that we all have to go through
this, it’s so unfair and I wouldn’t
wish it on anyone.
It was very hard to read that the offender
is still the person I know and care for
and that they are more than the worst thing
they’ve done but I know that this must be
true, and that perhaps in time I will
feel this way, although now I just want to
disown him but we are seeing him tonight
so will try and have a more positive
mental approach to this all.
Yesterday I spent time with my friends
and maybe
because they don’t know I actually had
a good time and laughed and for some
moments this terrible dread/anxiety
left me.
I wish for things to get better for you all
and that u can all move on from this
as I wish to do.
Love to you all and keep strong everyone x
It's so hard in the first few days/weeks but it does get better.
It's hard to match the person you love to doing this horrific stuff, why would they?
Just try to take some time for yourself, that's really important.
I found being at work was my lifeline as I didn't have to think about it while I was busy although it does still crop back in your thoughts! It's still the first thing I think of when I wake and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep but generally I can handle it and you will be able to add time goes by.
Your doing great, stay strong and much love xx
It's hard to match the person you love to doing this horrific stuff, why would they?
Just try to take some time for yourself, that's really important.
I found being at work was my lifeline as I didn't have to think about it while I was busy although it does still crop back in your thoughts! It's still the first thing I think of when I wake and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep but generally I can handle it and you will be able to add time goes by.
Your doing great, stay strong and much love xx