Family and Friends Forum

Clueless_21

Member since
January 2019

2 posts

Posted Thu January 17, 2019 9:31pmReport post

Hi all

A close family member is being investigated under the charges of viewing indecent images online.

The police raided the house in the middle of the night and confiscated all electronic devices.

The family member has been very honest about his involvement.

I feel sick to my stomach about all this,

i cannot believe it, I don’t know where to turn

I feel ashamed and disgusted, I feel traumatised

and yet also feel a sense of responsibility to

the family member like I have to be there for him

so he doesn’t kill him self.

I can’t look at him the same way, I feel like he’s

a bad man, when I used to think he was the

kindest person ever.

I feel grief like I’ve lost someone. I’m also scared

about what will happen next.

Feel very alone and anxious, feel sick and

can’t understand why he would look at such things

and just don’t want to wake up tomorrow morning.

Don’t want to face anyone, or do anything.

I cant even explain my behaviour to anyone

because of the sensitive nature of this all.

I feel angry too, because apparently this has

been going on for many years. I don’t know

what the future holds for my family, I dread

to think what court trials we may have to attend

and what we may have to hear at them,

i don’t think I’ve said this about any other thing

in my life but I truly cannot cope with this.

Anything but this.

This is just the worst thing I could ever imagine.

Has anyone who has gone through with this got

any advice for me please? The helpline is busy.

Maria

Member since
September 2018

286 posts

Posted Thu January 17, 2019 10:10pmReport post

Im so sorry you are going through this but know that you are not alone. Right now im sure you have so many things and emotions running through your mind, as hard as it will be to do take a step back from it all and try to find something to do that will help you relax. Your relative is still the person you know and care for, they may feel like a stranger right now but all these mixed feelings are normal. It will get easier in time. When the helpline are open keep calling you will get through. If you or your relative are in need of support especially for suicidal thoughts you can call Samaritans 24/7. Its such a shock and its going to take time process all thats going on.

Bethlou23

Member since
December 2018

383 posts

Posted Thu January 17, 2019 11:06pmReport post

Maria and poster offer good advice and reflection on things. I am only a month in and the news floored me how can the information fit with the person you know and love. It really is a mix of emotions.



as people said to me take one hour at a time. And practice self care. There is a lot of judgmental people in the media but on the forum you can get an honest response from people.

The offenders are humans too often with their own inner demons. Some men actually grow stronger from the knock and others can’t accept it.



thpugh your priory is your well-being at the moment, your family members was obviously a significant person in your life to reach out to the forum and hope over the ne t few weeks and months we can travel the journey with you.

as I said before take an hour at a time and remember to breathe.

Love to you through this time

beth Lou xxx

Edited by moderator Wed July 8, 2020 5:56pm

Jono1

Member since
December 2018

46 posts

Posted Thu January 17, 2019 11:12pmReport post

Hi clueless... youll be ok.. as will your family member... were all here.. all in this nightmare .. we all..every single one of us know what and how u are feeling.. shock..horrified..devastated.. mortified..the list of emotions goes on and on . And some of them you cant even explain....with the right support you all will be ok.. im not sugar coating this.. its a damn nightmare.. i myself am only 5 wks post knock.. its not easy .. but you hang in there. .. big hugs sent to u all right now xxxx

E

Member since
December 2018

39 posts

Posted Fri January 18, 2019 6:36amReport post

Hi Clueless

As everyone has said take each hour, then each day, soon it will turn into weeks. I’m 5 weeks post knock, I couldn’t face anyone to begin with, but in time have told my parents, and 1 friend I can talk to at work. Hang on in there, keep coming back here, someone will always reply, also have a read through this site, it helps to understand, something none of us thought we’d have to research! Take your time and hang on in there xxxx

Big sigh

Member since
December 2018

244 posts

Posted Fri January 18, 2019 12:33pmReport post

Hi - it honestly does get better. Or should I say it’s not that it gets better, but your feelings about it become more manageable. You are having an understandable reaction. But your family member is more than the worst thing they have ever done. As it says on the website (I think), good people do bad things.

im only a few weeks in, but on day one I could hardly walk up the road. But this morning I was chatting to a stranger on a walk, so it has changed in even this short space of time. X

Clueless_21

Member since
January 2019

2 posts

Posted Sat January 19, 2019 8:16amReport post

Thanks so much to everyone, I didn’t think anyone

had replied or cared about my story

but when I logged in I found such lovely

messages from u all.

im so sorry that we all have to go through

this, it’s so unfair and I wouldn’t

wish it on anyone.

It was very hard to read that the offender

is still the person I know and care for

and that they are more than the worst thing

they’ve done but I know that this must be

true, and that perhaps in time I will

feel this way, although now I just want to

disown him but we are seeing him tonight

so will try and have a more positive

mental approach to this all.

Yesterday I spent time with my friends

and maybe

because they don’t know I actually had

a good time and laughed and for some

moments this terrible dread/anxiety

left me.

I wish for things to get better for you all

and that u can all move on from this

as I wish to do.

Love to you all and keep strong everyone x

Tracey

Member since
December 2018

450 posts

Posted Sat January 19, 2019 9:11amReport post

It's so hard in the first few days/weeks but it does get better.

It's hard to match the person you love to doing this horrific stuff, why would they?

Just try to take some time for yourself, that's really important.

I found being at work was my lifeline as I didn't have to think about it while I was busy although it does still crop back in your thoughts! It's still the first thing I think of when I wake and the last thing I think of before I go to sleep but generally I can handle it and you will be able to add time goes by.

Your doing great, stay strong and much love xx