Family and Friends Forum

Black hound do you mind me asking how old you are? As you mention children I assume your quite young? The reason I ask is because I am 30 and only now seeing that there are many of us on here in our early years of life just about to start our future families and then we get this bombshell! I honestly felt so alone and distraught, but realising I'm not alone. Like you I'm battling with the views of society which don't match my knew understanding of the offenses. I just wish the rest of society had to catch up, as this is what makes it all the more painful for us.
im so sorry you are also going through this difficult time.I know what you mean of feeling exhausted of everything! Im sure your doing the best you can so hold on to that! Xxx

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Gonna jump in here.



I left. Not right away. But I left eventually. I was in a loving relationship. Planning children. Desperate for a baby in fact. Few health issues along the way but we were going to try. Then the knock happened. Really wanted to believe it was all a mistake. It wasn't. It was a Web of lies which led to serious abuse and mental trauma. Maybe the universe was protecting me from having a Child with this man. Who knows. All I know is the relationship went from being loving and happy to shouting, unwillingness to answer questions, lies, worries about the future, the media, association to him, the sex offenders register, house insurance and holidays. The list of problems outweighed the good. I'm only in my 30s and whilst it was one of the hardest times in my whole life, walking away was the easiest. I no longer live in fear. Iv cut all ties. Iv got myself a councilor and dealing with the trauma, I'm feeling like my old self again and who knows one day I may meet someone again. But I knew this was not mine to carry. I deserve a good life. I deserve not to live in fear. Not to be restricted because iv not done anything. This is my own personal account of things and I support those who stay with their partners too. Some show real remorse and want help. In my case that wasn't an option.

Ah blackhound thank you for your kind words they mean so much. Just take your time with your decision. I waited 5 months until I got all the facts, witnessed his behaviours changing, I even trusted my own instinct to some degree. I felt things weren't adding up. You'll get there in your own time. Walking away in the beginning wasn't an option. He firstly protested his innocence and was extremely convincing. Then came the suicide threats which kept me on my nerves worrying he was going to do something to himself. I knew I couldn't live with that. And then after reading other people's accounts on this forum I read about a lady who applied for a clares law disclosure and that's when I made my mind up to ask for this. That instantly helped me to make my mind up.

Best feeling ever it was when I knew I was going to be okay and this horrid nightmare was finally over.

X

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