Nightmare
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Hi,
Put my name as this because it's ongoing hell whole we are all in. Although I do believe there is life after this dark journey.
This is my 1st post I cannot disclose too much. However for the last 8 months or more I've been following many of the discussions on here and everytime I feel down I just come on here to remind myself I am not alone. Thankyou all and I hope my post will help someone else we are all in this together. Without going into too much details it is my ex under investigation was told will know this year what is happening. He's denying so much of this already and continues to do so. There is a range of categories and different offences. He has a colourful criminal background not to do with this but other crimes that ultimately I feel could risk other things with this combined together. My question is when it comes to charging if he keeps denying this is it going to go against him I know in my mind it wont look good. He is one of those you could put the hard evidence and facts before him and he will blame shift etc or state it's all lies. Looking to hear of others if when charged they have admitted but you thought they may of denied it or others if they have took it all the way to trial and the outcome. Thankyou!
Put my name as this because it's ongoing hell whole we are all in. Although I do believe there is life after this dark journey.
This is my 1st post I cannot disclose too much. However for the last 8 months or more I've been following many of the discussions on here and everytime I feel down I just come on here to remind myself I am not alone. Thankyou all and I hope my post will help someone else we are all in this together. Without going into too much details it is my ex under investigation was told will know this year what is happening. He's denying so much of this already and continues to do so. There is a range of categories and different offences. He has a colourful criminal background not to do with this but other crimes that ultimately I feel could risk other things with this combined together. My question is when it comes to charging if he keeps denying this is it going to go against him I know in my mind it wont look good. He is one of those you could put the hard evidence and facts before him and he will blame shift etc or state it's all lies. Looking to hear of others if when charged they have admitted but you thought they may of denied it or others if they have took it all the way to trial and the outcome. Thankyou!
My partner at first denied it when first arrested but once they presented the evidence they had for his arrest he admitted coz he saw no way around it.
He was honest from then on and pleaded guilty when charged. But he never gave his passwords during questioning....I think it was advised by the lawyer because he was told it would all be down to the police to try harder at building a case....tbh I didt like this advice because it took nearly two years from the knock to sentencing. The judge did bring this up as not being in his favour.
If your ex pleads not guilty it will go to trial with a jury. It will be lawyers responsibility to prove without a doubt he is guilty. He will need to have really good evidence he knows nothing about the evidence they have collected. I am not sure his other offenses will be brought up unless they are linked. It could sway the jury when what they should focus on is the crimes he is charged with relevent to the trial.
He was honest from then on and pleaded guilty when charged. But he never gave his passwords during questioning....I think it was advised by the lawyer because he was told it would all be down to the police to try harder at building a case....tbh I didt like this advice because it took nearly two years from the knock to sentencing. The judge did bring this up as not being in his favour.
If your ex pleads not guilty it will go to trial with a jury. It will be lawyers responsibility to prove without a doubt he is guilty. He will need to have really good evidence he knows nothing about the evidence they have collected. I am not sure his other offenses will be brought up unless they are linked. It could sway the jury when what they should focus on is the crimes he is charged with relevent to the trial.
Hi mindful
The CPS have to have significant evidence to bring charges against your ex. If he protests he hasn't done it like majestic says it will go to trial in court. If he pleads guilty he will possibly get a lesser sentence as he has saved the court time and money taking on a full trial. It also shows them he is remorseful and has took responsibility for what he has done.
His solicitor should advise him of this and what the outcome would be either way with his plea.
The CPS have to have significant evidence to bring charges against your ex. If he protests he hasn't done it like majestic says it will go to trial in court. If he pleads guilty he will possibly get a lesser sentence as he has saved the court time and money taking on a full trial. It also shows them he is remorseful and has took responsibility for what he has done.
His solicitor should advise him of this and what the outcome would be either way with his plea.
Thanks Maj, Yazz and Lee. I've felt a bit down this last week or so but think this is same for all of us going through this with the weather not helping. Your responses are very helpful and pretty much what I was expecting.
My ex just won't help himself. I don't even think his family are aware of the truth his mother especially I can tell deep down from her messages to me before Christmas. I can't tell his family either I've never discussed it with them at all for certain reasons.
My mum is great but she's just this weekend said she doesn't want to listen anymore about any of it because it's impacting her now all this and I get it! I feel bad for going to her about it all but she's right in saying I need to not talk about it directly to her specifically as much. And this whole situation almost destroyed my very close family we've had to work so hard to all rebuild together. I'm awaiting CBT therapy but going to chase this tomorrow. Is there anywhere else I can go to talk about it when I need to? Some days are a struggle, most days are ok as I'm keeping busy bit every now and then I can think we can all agree it hits you out of nowhere it's awful!
I've requested to do the inform course but hopefully will hear a response soon.
Does anyone have any other resources I can use please I've seen people mention tv shows and books etc.
My ex just won't help himself. I don't even think his family are aware of the truth his mother especially I can tell deep down from her messages to me before Christmas. I can't tell his family either I've never discussed it with them at all for certain reasons.
My mum is great but she's just this weekend said she doesn't want to listen anymore about any of it because it's impacting her now all this and I get it! I feel bad for going to her about it all but she's right in saying I need to not talk about it directly to her specifically as much. And this whole situation almost destroyed my very close family we've had to work so hard to all rebuild together. I'm awaiting CBT therapy but going to chase this tomorrow. Is there anywhere else I can go to talk about it when I need to? Some days are a struggle, most days are ok as I'm keeping busy bit every now and then I can think we can all agree it hits you out of nowhere it's awful!
I've requested to do the inform course but hopefully will hear a response soon.
Does anyone have any other resources I can use please I've seen people mention tv shows and books etc.
Hi mindful
I self referred to NHS talking therapies where I was assessed over the phone and offered cbt and then councilling. It really does help talking to someone out of the picture xxx
I self referred to NHS talking therapies where I was assessed over the phone and offered cbt and then councilling. It really does help talking to someone out of the picture xxx
Hi Yazz, I had perinatal teams out the other week I'm awaiting CBT via them, I chased it last week to no avail. I'm going to put it in writing to PALS if I've not heard next week my mind has been overloaded this last week.
Hi Mindful,
I'm new to this forum but have been living in this nightmare almost a year.
My ex also denies all charges and won't accept any responsibility for the destruction of our family. There have been so many twists and turns on what's happened to us and in his investigation alone that it's been very scary at times.
He has appeared in court already and has pleaded not guilty as anticipated and I found out yesterday from our family court judge that he apparently intends to somehow pin his offending on me in an attempt to cast reasonable doubt just to save himself. He is completely delusional as it's clear that no one will take that seriously (and I have been reassured as much) but I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that he cares so little and would actively try to destroy mine and our daughter's life like that.
I have a few months left to wait for his trial to begin and I had hoped to have nothing to do with it and now I'm just waiting for the call to be a witness for the prosecution as that seems more likely now if he's going to insist at slinging mud at me.
I've been reading as many posts on here as I can just to get the sense that I'm not alone but I'm finding that hard as my own story seems so extreme due to his narcissistic behaviour. I'm finding it hard reading about the women who choose to stay with their partners but I think that's more because I've had that option taken from me - I was initially supporting him to an extent in the extremely early days until the investigation escalated and it was clear that he was lying and twisting everything and is much more of a risk than he first appeared to be.
I just want to move on with my life and get on with supporting my daughter through this but I feel like whenever I get so far, he throws another spanner in the works.
No words of advice as I'm not out the other side yet but wanted you to know you are not alone.
I'm new to this forum but have been living in this nightmare almost a year.
My ex also denies all charges and won't accept any responsibility for the destruction of our family. There have been so many twists and turns on what's happened to us and in his investigation alone that it's been very scary at times.
He has appeared in court already and has pleaded not guilty as anticipated and I found out yesterday from our family court judge that he apparently intends to somehow pin his offending on me in an attempt to cast reasonable doubt just to save himself. He is completely delusional as it's clear that no one will take that seriously (and I have been reassured as much) but I am struggling to come to terms with the fact that he cares so little and would actively try to destroy mine and our daughter's life like that.
I have a few months left to wait for his trial to begin and I had hoped to have nothing to do with it and now I'm just waiting for the call to be a witness for the prosecution as that seems more likely now if he's going to insist at slinging mud at me.
I've been reading as many posts on here as I can just to get the sense that I'm not alone but I'm finding that hard as my own story seems so extreme due to his narcissistic behaviour. I'm finding it hard reading about the women who choose to stay with their partners but I think that's more because I've had that option taken from me - I was initially supporting him to an extent in the extremely early days until the investigation escalated and it was clear that he was lying and twisting everything and is much more of a risk than he first appeared to be.
I just want to move on with my life and get on with supporting my daughter through this but I feel like whenever I get so far, he throws another spanner in the works.
No words of advice as I'm not out the other side yet but wanted you to know you are not alone.