Just need to vent/release/moan!!
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I’m in limbo at the moment.. 6 days until my ex gets sentenced and I have to tell my children that their dad is in prison. I have been told he’ll get a custodial sentence. My heart breaks every day for them. My little boy idolises his dad, even though he hasn’t seen him for over a year. My children had indirect contact via weekly letters to and from their dad (decided by the family courts) which happened since January last year.. 2 months post knock.
We haven’t had contact since he was charged and remanded in November 2018, my little boy wrote him a letter a few days ago and keeps asking if I’ve posted it or if he’s had a letter back from his dad. My daughter is a little bit older and knows dad is in trouble for looking at horrible things online, they don’t know he’s been charged/remanded and I’m dreading telling them the outcome next week.
My head has been all over the place this last week, I’ve not been sleeping well, resorting to having a few glasses of wine/gin a night (I know it’s not healthy but it calms me and helps me to forget for a little while), I am just dreading next week and potentially seeing him face to face. I want to be there so that he knows I’m fully aware of what he has done. We have been separated for 8 years and he was still controlling and manipulative over every aspect of mine and my children’s life up until the knock. I just want to feel like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders and we can get on with our lives without him hanging over us.
Roll on Thursday!!
Xx
We haven’t had contact since he was charged and remanded in November 2018, my little boy wrote him a letter a few days ago and keeps asking if I’ve posted it or if he’s had a letter back from his dad. My daughter is a little bit older and knows dad is in trouble for looking at horrible things online, they don’t know he’s been charged/remanded and I’m dreading telling them the outcome next week.
My head has been all over the place this last week, I’ve not been sleeping well, resorting to having a few glasses of wine/gin a night (I know it’s not healthy but it calms me and helps me to forget for a little while), I am just dreading next week and potentially seeing him face to face. I want to be there so that he knows I’m fully aware of what he has done. We have been separated for 8 years and he was still controlling and manipulative over every aspect of mine and my children’s life up until the knock. I just want to feel like a weight has been lifted off our shoulders and we can get on with our lives without him hanging over us.
Roll on Thursday!!
Xx
Hi mumof2
You are doing really well, I think any of us in your position would be feeling the same. I also went to court for the plea, my husband's trial is in April, because I needed to know exactly what he'd done and for him to know I knew if that makes sense.
Good idea about asking the helpline or if not have you an understand SW?
Good luck next week and let us know how you get in
Much love xx
You are doing really well, I think any of us in your position would be feeling the same. I also went to court for the plea, my husband's trial is in April, because I needed to know exactly what he'd done and for him to know I knew if that makes sense.
Good idea about asking the helpline or if not have you an understand SW?
Good luck next week and let us know how you get in
Much love xx
Thank you Tracey and poster,
I’ve found myself googling the outcomes of other similar offences and now I’m dreading the fact that he won’t get a custodial sentence. I’d not even thought of that happening until now. Although the fact that he has been remanded since being charged makes me think he will get a custodial sentence, due to what he’s admitted guilt of.
My son has been so up and down this week since he wrote the letter to his dad. Every time he hears the letter box go, he thinks it’s a reply from him.
Im going to ring the helpline when I get a spare minute before Thursday, I need to have some sort of non family and friends advice before the hearing. As much as they’ve been a massive help and support, I need to benefit from some sort of professional/experienced advice to arm myself before I tell the children anything.
Funnily enough, Thursday is also the day of the family court hearing.. before he got charged he applied for access to the children, I’ve tried to contact the cafcass case worker and the family court to see if it will still go ahead, surely it wouldn’t though as we obviously won’t be able to attend! If it does, it will no doubt end up falling at the same time he gets sentenced!
Hope everyone is having as positive a weekend as they can, this forum is such a godsend xx
I’ve found myself googling the outcomes of other similar offences and now I’m dreading the fact that he won’t get a custodial sentence. I’d not even thought of that happening until now. Although the fact that he has been remanded since being charged makes me think he will get a custodial sentence, due to what he’s admitted guilt of.
My son has been so up and down this week since he wrote the letter to his dad. Every time he hears the letter box go, he thinks it’s a reply from him.
Im going to ring the helpline when I get a spare minute before Thursday, I need to have some sort of non family and friends advice before the hearing. As much as they’ve been a massive help and support, I need to benefit from some sort of professional/experienced advice to arm myself before I tell the children anything.
Funnily enough, Thursday is also the day of the family court hearing.. before he got charged he applied for access to the children, I’ve tried to contact the cafcass case worker and the family court to see if it will still go ahead, surely it wouldn’t though as we obviously won’t be able to attend! If it does, it will no doubt end up falling at the same time he gets sentenced!
Hope everyone is having as positive a weekend as they can, this forum is such a godsend xx
Quick update...
I’ve contacted the family courts and cafcass today, the family hearing still hasn’t been cancelled. The cafcass adviser has sent her report to the court today with her recommendations, that the hearing is dismissed and they don’t recommend the children having any contact with dad due to the risks he poses.
Hopefully, they will get back to me before Thursday to say it’s been cancelled.
I’m still going to the sentencing though, with my parents and partner supporting me. I have also been reading up on the cps website and I think you’re right poster, I reckon it’s highly likely he will get a substantial custodial sentence, I just hope the judge on the day is decent and gives him what he deserves then we can all move on with our lives.
Thinking of you all in this rubbish boat we have found ourselves in xx
I’ve contacted the family courts and cafcass today, the family hearing still hasn’t been cancelled. The cafcass adviser has sent her report to the court today with her recommendations, that the hearing is dismissed and they don’t recommend the children having any contact with dad due to the risks he poses.
Hopefully, they will get back to me before Thursday to say it’s been cancelled.
I’m still going to the sentencing though, with my parents and partner supporting me. I have also been reading up on the cps website and I think you’re right poster, I reckon it’s highly likely he will get a substantial custodial sentence, I just hope the judge on the day is decent and gives him what he deserves then we can all move on with our lives.
Thinking of you all in this rubbish boat we have found ourselves in xx