Husband has had a break down and does not remember anything prior to the knock.
Notifications OFF
Hi just after advice. We had the knock December 2019. Husband at work and it was a very traumatic experience for me and our children. I was also pregnant. My husband things were seized. I cooperated with the lead detective at time despite finding him extremely aggressive.
They then went on to my husbands place for work causing him to have a full breakdown. He admitted to looking at a porn and said all images he looked at were overage and if there had been something underage he did not know they were underage . They came about one image he said he does not remember. He opened an Kik account and has no memory of this.
February 2020 we hear back from Police a small number of cat c images found on the devices including one or two images of girls fully dressed. He still remembers nothing.
March 2020 hear from Police to say case paused due to COVID and now nothing nearly a year later.
My husband continues to be a mess.
I am an absolute mess as well. I definitely feel the first few month after I was in shock now I am confused, scared and struggling
They then went on to my husbands place for work causing him to have a full breakdown. He admitted to looking at a porn and said all images he looked at were overage and if there had been something underage he did not know they were underage . They came about one image he said he does not remember. He opened an Kik account and has no memory of this.
February 2020 we hear back from Police a small number of cat c images found on the devices including one or two images of girls fully dressed. He still remembers nothing.
March 2020 hear from Police to say case paused due to COVID and now nothing nearly a year later.
My husband continues to be a mess.
I am an absolute mess as well. I definitely feel the first few month after I was in shock now I am confused, scared and struggling
Hi love, you've had a terrible time haven't you crikey a year too what nightmare for you all. Has your husband had support over the last year?. You say he's had a breakdown, also have you had support. You certainly need it if you haven't. This is so awful to read, the impact and devastation to families is so horrible. It's only been 5 weeks for me but I've already found strength and support from all the lovely ladies on here. One of the first things I read that was very supportive was the research paper by Belinda Winder called The Experiences of non offending partners of individuals who've committed sexual offences. She is on Twitter. I also took part in research with Belinda on the effects of " The Knock" on partners. Please take care as you've had such a long road
Hi I just had to reply!
my dad had a complete breakdown as well, didn't remember anything at all. Unfortunately he went to prison, as was suicidal so went in on remand.
the meant also health nurse had to tell him everything of his crime whilst he was in, and he wrote a small diary whilst in there to piece things together. Unfortunately for my dad they weren't all nice, he was planning his suicide and was very hard to read but he also managed to understand what he had done wrong through writing things down!
when we managed to get him out of prison on bail we got him he'll immediately, medication and therapy. He did suffer a few more breakdowns afterwards, but we asked for medication to calm his anxiety for moments like that.
time is a healer! and having someone for your husband to talk to will help. it's the minds way of dealing with trauma unfortunately.
not sure if any of this helps xx
my dad had a complete breakdown as well, didn't remember anything at all. Unfortunately he went to prison, as was suicidal so went in on remand.
the meant also health nurse had to tell him everything of his crime whilst he was in, and he wrote a small diary whilst in there to piece things together. Unfortunately for my dad they weren't all nice, he was planning his suicide and was very hard to read but he also managed to understand what he had done wrong through writing things down!
when we managed to get him out of prison on bail we got him he'll immediately, medication and therapy. He did suffer a few more breakdowns afterwards, but we asked for medication to calm his anxiety for moments like that.
time is a healer! and having someone for your husband to talk to will help. it's the minds way of dealing with trauma unfortunately.
not sure if any of this helps xx
Blonde 41
cat c is nothing , please try to keep calm and try to understand this illness which it is, i had the knock 13/02/2020 for my son , never been so frightened in all my life, he had cat A B and C 130 in total, we went to court in August , thanks to covid no one is in the courts so no publicity, he got 24 months suspended sentence with community service which he is yet to serve due to covid, police come every 3 months to check devices which is'nt too bad, hang in there it does get better .
cat c is nothing , please try to keep calm and try to understand this illness which it is, i had the knock 13/02/2020 for my son , never been so frightened in all my life, he had cat A B and C 130 in total, we went to court in August , thanks to covid no one is in the courts so no publicity, he got 24 months suspended sentence with community service which he is yet to serve due to covid, police come every 3 months to check devices which is'nt too bad, hang in there it does get better .
Sorry to hear this. This is an illness, it is a mental illness that is not recognised. Unfortunately we have as a family been going through it for 12 years now. My husband was convicted of viewing indecent images and was sentenced to 12 months. He was then arrested again, the House was searched, all devices taken and he admitted he had reoffended. He served another 12 months. He was then arrested and bailed, he has supervised access to our children. He has been on bail for 2 years now. The police are still trying to find evidence. He has been on the stop it now course which cost us £800. He has read all the self help books and has tried every avenue to get help. He is a brilliant dad . Nowhere else we can turn and we are desperate. We keep getting bail after bail for 2 years. He has lost his job as police have stopped him having contact with his place of work. Waiting for the worst, this is the most horrendous life ever. I feel like the pandemic is a lifeline for me. I don't have to show my face anymore ????????