Where to start.....
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Hi, I am new to this forum however, have found it really useful so far. We got the "Knock" this Tuesday I feel like I have spent the last few days zooming through all the stages of grief and now I need to start asking question but am not sure where to start. My son has been released on bail. He has been accused of talking to young females on line. At the moment he has shut himself away, not eating or drinking, not speaking unless asked direct questions. Now I need some answers. Police have his computers and phone but haven't asked to see ours in the family home. We have been told this could take months to resolve so I need to start getting back on track asap! Any advice would be much appreciated.
Hi worried mother,
I'm have been through this with 2 partners. The last being Dec 5 when I had the knock. The police only took your son's cos it married with IP address they have followed. Both my partner's were caught talking to police pretending to be under 18's. The process of checking computers varies force to force. Be prepared for a few months to a year. It depends on how busy they are, how much of a back log they have. As for getting back on track this depends on the individual but as a lot will tell you, you have to take it hour by hour , day by day.
However I'm the partner of an accused not a mother, so see it from a different perspective as you. My dealings with their mothers is their denial of what their sons have been accused. They have both blamed me for their internet surfing.
You will find no judgement on here, just a lot of help, hugs & advice. We are all in the same boat. Ringing the helpline is another way to get advice. Keep trying as they are very busy.
I've been to my GP & they've got me councilling which is in a fortnight.
Ask anything you like & someone will help you out.
Big hugs to you.
I'm have been through this with 2 partners. The last being Dec 5 when I had the knock. The police only took your son's cos it married with IP address they have followed. Both my partner's were caught talking to police pretending to be under 18's. The process of checking computers varies force to force. Be prepared for a few months to a year. It depends on how busy they are, how much of a back log they have. As for getting back on track this depends on the individual but as a lot will tell you, you have to take it hour by hour , day by day.
However I'm the partner of an accused not a mother, so see it from a different perspective as you. My dealings with their mothers is their denial of what their sons have been accused. They have both blamed me for their internet surfing.
You will find no judgement on here, just a lot of help, hugs & advice. We are all in the same boat. Ringing the helpline is another way to get advice. Keep trying as they are very busy.
I've been to my GP & they've got me councilling which is in a fortnight.
Ask anything you like & someone will help you out.
Big hugs to you.
Iif he is willing its worth him visiting the doctor for some meds to level him out a bit, especially if he is not eating or drinking. The first few weeks are incredibly difficult for everyone. My partner was arrested for sexual communication with a minor and over the days and weejs following arrest we talked and cried lots, he talked about everything and although these were extremely difficult conversations it help us both to talk. If he struggles talking to you is there anyone else he might talk to to help start getting him to open up about whats been going on. I know my partner found talking to his mum about it all upsetting and difficult. Let him know if you know whats happended and why that you may be able to help or help him find help. Again if he is willing its worth him calling the helpline as well as you, for support and advice (they are amazing, and offer non judgemental advice). The police investigation will take a long time sadly, its difficult waiting and not knowing but its important that he starts to seek help now. Whethers that starting with seeing his gp, opening up to someone, joining sex addicts annymous is any kind of sex/porn addiction played a part, some councelling, depending on where in the country you are there are sometimes therapy groups locally (did the police give him information leaflets on lucy faithful foundation etc). Some areas the police have a mental health team/support service that he may be able to get support from.
Thanks Jayne and Maria for contacting me. He has never been a great talker unless it is about a game or tv show. He has autistic tendencies and doesn't understand emotions at all let alone dealing with his own. He has spoken to the help line and has contacted our local counsellors. The GP has let him down badly over the last few years when he has reached out to them for his social anxiety and our local mental health team are near on useless so felt this is the best route for now. I have a few questions I need to ask and intend to just ask a few at a time so neither of us become over loaded. Thanks for the support I will remain in touch on here as this experience is obviously very isolating.
Hi worried mum
What a horrible time for you and your son, is a really confusing time for the next few weeks but it will get better.
Has your son any help via the national autistic society, they maybe able to offer him support which could help his case, is with a try.
Please take care of yourself and do things at your pace
Lots of love xx
What a horrible time for you and your son, is a really confusing time for the next few weeks but it will get better.
Has your son any help via the national autistic society, they maybe able to offer him support which could help his case, is with a try.
Please take care of yourself and do things at your pace
Lots of love xx