Does everyone go to prison
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We are still waiting on CPS decision and our solicitor written reps was sent in with the file saying that it doesn't meet the evidential test.
However the wait is having me panicked and I have a few questions if anyone can help as it is keeping me up at night.
1) my husband has been accused of communicating with a minor over KIK it was one time there was no other evidence found on 13 devices. Does this mean he will automatically go to prison? What is the likelihood of him not for the allegation if CPS decide to run with it.
2) we are currently on a safety plan and he lives at home with no unsupervised contact with the kids. Will SS make this worse if he is officially charged. I would assume not as what they were told is exactly all that has been found and nothing else. The SW we had that normally one conversation I'd tip of iceberg and more will be found,well this is not true at all as nothing else has been found.
I am so scared, everything having been investigated backs up my husbands story but I feel like everyone will be out to get us including CPS!
Any responses would be greatly appreciated?
Thanks
However the wait is having me panicked and I have a few questions if anyone can help as it is keeping me up at night.
1) my husband has been accused of communicating with a minor over KIK it was one time there was no other evidence found on 13 devices. Does this mean he will automatically go to prison? What is the likelihood of him not for the allegation if CPS decide to run with it.
2) we are currently on a safety plan and he lives at home with no unsupervised contact with the kids. Will SS make this worse if he is officially charged. I would assume not as what they were told is exactly all that has been found and nothing else. The SW we had that normally one conversation I'd tip of iceberg and more will be found,well this is not true at all as nothing else has been found.
I am so scared, everything having been investigated backs up my husbands story but I feel like everyone will be out to get us including CPS!
Any responses would be greatly appreciated?
Thanks
Hi not sure
i can't answer all of your questions but I do know that not everyone goes to prison. My son did for communication but I've read of plenty who don't. I'm in Scotland so I can't advise on the cps as we don't have that here.
I can tell you that social services are usually quite lenient while the case is waiting to go to court. I think they only get told the whole thing after charges are made. Certainly here, a lot of people have had more restrictions put in place following charges or conviction. Our daughter has a young son. We got a phone call at the start saying no unsupervised to the little one. Case has recently been opened again owing to the fact our son is coming home. The social worker tried to make our daughter have nothing to do with her brother at all. My daughters mental health went through the roof because we are a small but very close family.
Our daughter went to her normal appointmemt with her cpn and hot upset about not being allowed to see or speak to her brother. I should add that the case was reopened because the health visitor put a complaint into social services. Anyway, cpn told our daughter that what the social worker had done was against the rules and to leave it with her.
Cpn asked health visitor for a meeting with her, the social worker, our daughter and the cpn. The cpn, was basically told to go away by the health visitor. At that stage the cpn decided to contact the social worker direct. At this point social worker said she had not said that our daughter could not see or speak to my daughter which was a lie. She did say that.
Anyway, the upshot is that our daughter can have contact with our son but our grandson cannot for now. Social worker has said our son will be allowed to see our grandson after he's been assessed properly when he comes home. This is not ideal but it is workable. Social services outcomes vary throughout the country.nits a bit of a lottery. I'm hoping someone with more exper will see your post and give more advice x
i can't answer all of your questions but I do know that not everyone goes to prison. My son did for communication but I've read of plenty who don't. I'm in Scotland so I can't advise on the cps as we don't have that here.
I can tell you that social services are usually quite lenient while the case is waiting to go to court. I think they only get told the whole thing after charges are made. Certainly here, a lot of people have had more restrictions put in place following charges or conviction. Our daughter has a young son. We got a phone call at the start saying no unsupervised to the little one. Case has recently been opened again owing to the fact our son is coming home. The social worker tried to make our daughter have nothing to do with her brother at all. My daughters mental health went through the roof because we are a small but very close family.
Our daughter went to her normal appointmemt with her cpn and hot upset about not being allowed to see or speak to her brother. I should add that the case was reopened because the health visitor put a complaint into social services. Anyway, cpn told our daughter that what the social worker had done was against the rules and to leave it with her.
Cpn asked health visitor for a meeting with her, the social worker, our daughter and the cpn. The cpn, was basically told to go away by the health visitor. At that stage the cpn decided to contact the social worker direct. At this point social worker said she had not said that our daughter could not see or speak to my daughter which was a lie. She did say that.
Anyway, the upshot is that our daughter can have contact with our son but our grandson cannot for now. Social worker has said our son will be allowed to see our grandson after he's been assessed properly when he comes home. This is not ideal but it is workable. Social services outcomes vary throughout the country.nits a bit of a lottery. I'm hoping someone with more exper will see your post and give more advice x
My dad didn't go to prison for communication, very similar to your case! One time conversation, no further evidence found on all 5 devices, the undercover police also tried to recontact my dad after the original conversation and my dad ignored them (not like that evidence was used in my dads defence, but oh well), he got 18 months suspended and community service, and 10 years on register and spo.
ive also just had a baby, 2 months old, my dad is currently allowed supervised contact by me and my partner, and my mum is being risk assessed to also be able to supervise contact (pulling my hair out, Absolutly exhausted with no extra childcare for a nap lol), I've also applied for the risk assessment on unsupervised contact with my dad, so that baby can stay over with mum in a separate room, as my mum and dad are my main support! Probation officer made me think that we wouldn't get this added extra for unsupervised contact, but it's down to the social worker at the end of the day' I've been lucky so far and I get on with mine, she's going above and beyond for us (touch wood), I think you have to just co-operate as much as you can as to how much contact you can have!
I'm not much help, but it's sort of an idea on what you might have to go through!
ive also just had a baby, 2 months old, my dad is currently allowed supervised contact by me and my partner, and my mum is being risk assessed to also be able to supervise contact (pulling my hair out, Absolutly exhausted with no extra childcare for a nap lol), I've also applied for the risk assessment on unsupervised contact with my dad, so that baby can stay over with mum in a separate room, as my mum and dad are my main support! Probation officer made me think that we wouldn't get this added extra for unsupervised contact, but it's down to the social worker at the end of the day' I've been lucky so far and I get on with mine, she's going above and beyond for us (touch wood), I think you have to just co-operate as much as you can as to how much contact you can have!
I'm not much help, but it's sort of an idea on what you might have to go through!
Hi guys,
Thanks for your responses.
It's social workers I am scared of I mean our social worker was great but I am petrified they are going to change everything for us IF it goes further.
Mac can I ask did you dad arrange to meet? My husband didn't but I just wondered why so long on the offenders register did they give a reason? Also did you have a duty solicitor or did you pay for one?
I really don't want this going to court and the solicitor has said he doesn't believe it passes the evidential threshold plus my husband has 6 mitigating circumstances.
The past year we have been carrying on with like as normal as can be but I'm scared this is all going to blow up ????
Thanks for your responses.
It's social workers I am scared of I mean our social worker was great but I am petrified they are going to change everything for us IF it goes further.
Mac can I ask did you dad arrange to meet? My husband didn't but I just wondered why so long on the offenders register did they give a reason? Also did you have a duty solicitor or did you pay for one?
I really don't want this going to court and the solicitor has said he doesn't believe it passes the evidential threshold plus my husband has 6 mitigating circumstances.
The past year we have been carrying on with like as normal as can be but I'm scared this is all going to blow up ????
Hi, no my dad didn't arrange to meet, he did send a sexual video and ask for images which is why his was so high I think! It is also luck of the judge on the day as well! also, it helps if you stand by him, this worked in my dads favour massively! Also to be seen as making inprovements already, we sent dad to the doctors as soon as we got bail to get the help he needed!
We got the solicitor that was available on the day as my dad said he didn't want one and we weren't allowed to talk to him to tell him to get one! But we did end up paying them I think? Cps also rushed to charge for my dad as he was suicidal and went to prison on remand for this reason, he went into complete meltdown and self destruct mode! if cps are still thinking about it then I have everything crossed for you!
social workers can be very scary, as they have so much power over our lives! I've said to my mum you have to just play there game; say everything they want to hear, have a protection plan in place, and admit that the person in question is a threat and that you'll always report them if needed!
We got the solicitor that was available on the day as my dad said he didn't want one and we weren't allowed to talk to him to tell him to get one! But we did end up paying them I think? Cps also rushed to charge for my dad as he was suicidal and went to prison on remand for this reason, he went into complete meltdown and self destruct mode! if cps are still thinking about it then I have everything crossed for you!
social workers can be very scary, as they have so much power over our lives! I've said to my mum you have to just play there game; say everything they want to hear, have a protection plan in place, and admit that the person in question is a threat and that you'll always report them if needed!
My husband was arrested for being in possession of iioc.
The dreaded kik app
Magistrates last week..potential suspended sentence his solicitor has said..ss arrive today to do another assessment session..saying solicitor shouldn't be telling husband he's only going to get a suspended (bearing in mind she's extremely experienced in this area) ss said he could possibly get a custodial..ive done everything I can possibly think of to prove I'm a protective parent and that I can keep my daughter safe if hubby is allowed home.
Ive done the following
Family safety plan
Secured all devices ( sky shield switched on,new passwords and pin numbers, face recognition on ipad,bought an indoor security camera for when I'm asleep
Done a level 1 child Protection and safeguarding course
In the middle of a level 2 child Protection and safeguarding course
Completed the ' seen and heard ' programme
All of the above and now ss say he still might not be able to come home.
Theyve put the fear of God into me today.i cannot physically do anymore to prove to them that I can and will keep our daughter safe.
Husband is engaging with probation
Hes cooperating with everything that he's being asked to do..
This has been a nightmare
I was asked why do I want him home?
Hes my husband our daughters father, we love him and we want him home
We miss him we want to be able to support him
Hes not a bad person. Hes a good man who's made a stupid stupid mistake and will now have to live with that for the rest of his life.
I dnt think that whatever we do is good enough.
Ive chosen to stand by him and just because ive chosen to do that doesn't mean in anyway that I condone or justiy whats happend
What else are we to do except what any of us have already done
The dreaded kik app
Magistrates last week..potential suspended sentence his solicitor has said..ss arrive today to do another assessment session..saying solicitor shouldn't be telling husband he's only going to get a suspended (bearing in mind she's extremely experienced in this area) ss said he could possibly get a custodial..ive done everything I can possibly think of to prove I'm a protective parent and that I can keep my daughter safe if hubby is allowed home.
Ive done the following
Family safety plan
Secured all devices ( sky shield switched on,new passwords and pin numbers, face recognition on ipad,bought an indoor security camera for when I'm asleep
Done a level 1 child Protection and safeguarding course
In the middle of a level 2 child Protection and safeguarding course
Completed the ' seen and heard ' programme
All of the above and now ss say he still might not be able to come home.
Theyve put the fear of God into me today.i cannot physically do anymore to prove to them that I can and will keep our daughter safe.
Husband is engaging with probation
Hes cooperating with everything that he's being asked to do..
This has been a nightmare
I was asked why do I want him home?
Hes my husband our daughters father, we love him and we want him home
We miss him we want to be able to support him
Hes not a bad person. Hes a good man who's made a stupid stupid mistake and will now have to live with that for the rest of his life.
I dnt think that whatever we do is good enough.
Ive chosen to stand by him and just because ive chosen to do that doesn't mean in anyway that I condone or justiy whats happend
What else are we to do except what any of us have already done
Annie, a lot of solicitors explain what you might get they usually give you the scenario they are used to, ours did the same with my dad!
also, I'd like to think social services give you the worst case scenario, same with probation usually as well! In there eyes they are criminals unfortunately! We could scream until we're blue in the face that they are good people, but society won't let us get that message across!
we have decided as a family that if we don't get over night stays this time, we'll ask how we can improve and re apply as much as we can! I've known families that have gotten back to normal so there is hope! it's just an uphill climb, but each time hopefully you would get different social workers, and all social workers work differently! but you've made it this far and just think it'll be worth it in the end!xx
also, I'd like to think social services give you the worst case scenario, same with probation usually as well! In there eyes they are criminals unfortunately! We could scream until we're blue in the face that they are good people, but society won't let us get that message across!
we have decided as a family that if we don't get over night stays this time, we'll ask how we can improve and re apply as much as we can! I've known families that have gotten back to normal so there is hope! it's just an uphill climb, but each time hopefully you would get different social workers, and all social workers work differently! but you've made it this far and just think it'll be worth it in the end!xx
Mac
SW is visiting hubby next week where he's currently living for what I believe is a risk assessment and he's to put it politely, bricking it as he doesn't want to say the wrong thing or say it in a way that SS could twist it..
Hes cooperating completely with everything that is being asked of him because to be fair, he's not got much choice really because he's the one who for whatever reason, created the situation we now find ourselves in.
Hes going on a course probation has arranged for him and they've arranged for him to speak to a counselor or therapist I think.hes also had conversations with IAPS and is on medication for his depression.
Full of remorse and Shame for what's happened and wishes he could turn the clock back.hes a good person who for whatever reason has made a stupid stupid mistake and now wants to try and make it right somehow if that makes sense
Xx
SW is visiting hubby next week where he's currently living for what I believe is a risk assessment and he's to put it politely, bricking it as he doesn't want to say the wrong thing or say it in a way that SS could twist it..
Hes cooperating completely with everything that is being asked of him because to be fair, he's not got much choice really because he's the one who for whatever reason, created the situation we now find ourselves in.
Hes going on a course probation has arranged for him and they've arranged for him to speak to a counselor or therapist I think.hes also had conversations with IAPS and is on medication for his depression.
Full of remorse and Shame for what's happened and wishes he could turn the clock back.hes a good person who for whatever reason has made a stupid stupid mistake and now wants to try and make it right somehow if that makes sense
Xx