Sentencing outcome/press coverage
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Hi,
I don't normally post on here, I normally just read everyone's experiences and try and get some support that way however I am struggling at the moment :( unsure what type of sentencing outcome my husband will get and not able to afford my mortgage on my own.
Husband got the knock last year. We heard back from CPS recently that he is being charged. One charge of communication with a police decoy and one charge of having a category C video.
He is due in court shortly and I was just wondering if anyone had any experience with media coverage? Do you think this is likely to be reported? When the press post addresses do they just post the area (Town etc) or do they post the road name as well?
I should mention I'm heavily pregnant.
I am terrified someone is going to put a brick through my window and potentially hurt my family or one of my pets. Not to mention the shame of all my neighbours finding out.
I left my old job as I had to tell my employer what was going on as i needed time off work. They unfortunately did not keep this confidential and my colleagues found out about my husband. My employers had exaggerated the extent of his crimes and I was treated like an outcast.
I found a new job and have been there for nearly a year now. I dread to think about my neighbours or current colleagues finding out.
Can anyone help or guide me as to what may happen?
I also want to say how very brave I think you ladies are. Your strength and courage has been an inspiration to me these past months. X
I don't normally post on here, I normally just read everyone's experiences and try and get some support that way however I am struggling at the moment :( unsure what type of sentencing outcome my husband will get and not able to afford my mortgage on my own.
Husband got the knock last year. We heard back from CPS recently that he is being charged. One charge of communication with a police decoy and one charge of having a category C video.
He is due in court shortly and I was just wondering if anyone had any experience with media coverage? Do you think this is likely to be reported? When the press post addresses do they just post the area (Town etc) or do they post the road name as well?
I should mention I'm heavily pregnant.
I am terrified someone is going to put a brick through my window and potentially hurt my family or one of my pets. Not to mention the shame of all my neighbours finding out.
I left my old job as I had to tell my employer what was going on as i needed time off work. They unfortunately did not keep this confidential and my colleagues found out about my husband. My employers had exaggerated the extent of his crimes and I was treated like an outcast.
I found a new job and have been there for nearly a year now. I dread to think about my neighbours or current colleagues finding out.
Can anyone help or guide me as to what may happen?
I also want to say how very brave I think you ladies are. Your strength and courage has been an inspiration to me these past months. X
Hi
My ex partners case was this month and unfortunately it hit the local press and social media the day after.
I thought due to. Covid reporters might not be allowed in but it was covered in great detail.
For months the worry of this kept me up at night terrified and no amount of doing so changed that outcome.
I told noone about the investigation I kept it to myself as I had severe embassment and worried about the association to him. I was fortunate we didn't live together. I ended the relationship when he was charged and carried on with my life.
I am now dealing with all the messages of concern and expression of shock he's brought on to everyone I know. Its all over the papers and the only thing that's helped me to combat this is cbt therapy and councilling.
It's shook me back to the beginning if I'm honest, but i feel a sense of relief it's out and it's over. In a weird way I think the endless nights of worry are far worse than it actually coming out.
Whilst I don't have advice in regards to your mortgage, maybe seek some help from a mortgage advisor and see what your options are? I'm Not sure if your wanting to stay with your partner, or your leaving or you haven't decided yet, I'm not here to judge on any decision its your life and your choice, but do what's right for you. Maybe anyone on here who's been pregnant during this can offer advice here on the road ahead?
It's a lengthy journey, make sure you come on here often, ask questions and talk. Lots of self care, you will need all your strength for your baba.
Lots of. Love xx
My ex partners case was this month and unfortunately it hit the local press and social media the day after.
I thought due to. Covid reporters might not be allowed in but it was covered in great detail.
For months the worry of this kept me up at night terrified and no amount of doing so changed that outcome.
I told noone about the investigation I kept it to myself as I had severe embassment and worried about the association to him. I was fortunate we didn't live together. I ended the relationship when he was charged and carried on with my life.
I am now dealing with all the messages of concern and expression of shock he's brought on to everyone I know. Its all over the papers and the only thing that's helped me to combat this is cbt therapy and councilling.
It's shook me back to the beginning if I'm honest, but i feel a sense of relief it's out and it's over. In a weird way I think the endless nights of worry are far worse than it actually coming out.
Whilst I don't have advice in regards to your mortgage, maybe seek some help from a mortgage advisor and see what your options are? I'm Not sure if your wanting to stay with your partner, or your leaving or you haven't decided yet, I'm not here to judge on any decision its your life and your choice, but do what's right for you. Maybe anyone on here who's been pregnant during this can offer advice here on the road ahead?
It's a lengthy journey, make sure you come on here often, ask questions and talk. Lots of self care, you will need all your strength for your baba.
Lots of. Love xx
Thank you so much for your reply.
At the moment we are living together but not actually, 'together.' I would like him to stay in the family home though. We have been together for 15 years.
Our friends and family know although my side of the family has cut off all contact with my husband now.
I think I will just be relieved when this is all over. It's the not knowing that is awful. Not much thought is given to the familys.
Thank you so much for replying x x
At the moment we are living together but not actually, 'together.' I would like him to stay in the family home though. We have been together for 15 years.
Our friends and family know although my side of the family has cut off all contact with my husband now.
I think I will just be relieved when this is all over. It's the not knowing that is awful. Not much thought is given to the familys.
Thank you so much for replying x x
It's the limbo that is the worst. That time to think worry and ponder what will happen and what might be.
From my experience you don't ever find that out until it happens. It's a ticking clock waiting for that to happen.
Please look after yourself especially being pregnant too. I hope that even though your family have disowned him they are supporting you through this xxx
From my experience you don't ever find that out until it happens. It's a ticking clock waiting for that to happen.
Please look after yourself especially being pregnant too. I hope that even though your family have disowned him they are supporting you through this xxx
Hi bluebell sorry you find yourself here,
my partner was sentenced last year for communication with a police decoy and arranging to meet he got 2 years in prison and 2 on license. It came out in the press and online the same week even though it was during the 1st lockdown and no one was allowed in court. The street address was printed even though I own the home we shared, the newspaper editor said they had the right to print the address read out in court!
The sentence seems to all go on the judge on the day, I’ve seen some just get a suspended sentence for the same crime.
Im sorry I can’t advise on mortgage payments but the in limbo time waiting for the sentence and then the sick feeling waiting on edge to see if it gets out in the press was the worst bit for me waiting to see who knows about it seemed horrendous also the shame after. But after it’s all out and people have had their say (most people were lovely) it begins to become old news, and there is some sort of closure with knowing the outcome. I moved out of the home we shared (but I own) during this period with the same worries of neighbours being funny and worst case brick through the window because it’s only a small street, but luckily non of these things happened.
Take care remember non of this is your fault and most people if they are true friends will see this. Also wether u choose to stick by him or not is nobody else’s business.
my partner was sentenced last year for communication with a police decoy and arranging to meet he got 2 years in prison and 2 on license. It came out in the press and online the same week even though it was during the 1st lockdown and no one was allowed in court. The street address was printed even though I own the home we shared, the newspaper editor said they had the right to print the address read out in court!
The sentence seems to all go on the judge on the day, I’ve seen some just get a suspended sentence for the same crime.
Im sorry I can’t advise on mortgage payments but the in limbo time waiting for the sentence and then the sick feeling waiting on edge to see if it gets out in the press was the worst bit for me waiting to see who knows about it seemed horrendous also the shame after. But after it’s all out and people have had their say (most people were lovely) it begins to become old news, and there is some sort of closure with knowing the outcome. I moved out of the home we shared (but I own) during this period with the same worries of neighbours being funny and worst case brick through the window because it’s only a small street, but luckily non of these things happened.
Take care remember non of this is your fault and most people if they are true friends will see this. Also wether u choose to stick by him or not is nobody else’s business.
Thank you Flossy and Yazznan.
Yes my family are supporting me. It's hard though as my mum passed away last year and my dad is dead so support is limited.
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for now that he gets a suspended sentance as I really don't know what I'll do with a newborn and trying to sort the mortgage out.
Praying that they don't print my address.
Thank you both so much for sharing your stories. I don't feel so alone now which really helps.
Huge hugs to you both. X x x x x
Yes my family are supporting me. It's hard though as my mum passed away last year and my dad is dead so support is limited.
I'm just keeping my fingers crossed for now that he gets a suspended sentance as I really don't know what I'll do with a newborn and trying to sort the mortgage out.
Praying that they don't print my address.
Thank you both so much for sharing your stories. I don't feel so alone now which really helps.
Huge hugs to you both. X x x x x
Lost.... I've thought about you over the last few months and have been wondering how you are all doing. I imagine it's been really tough with your husband getting a prison sentence. Sending you a big hug xxx
Lost it really sounds like ypu have been through the mill recently. I have just been reading one of your other posts.
I admire your strength and courage after everything you have been through.
So sorry, I had not seen that you had replied.
My husband has been referred to crown court for sentancing. It's possible that he will get a suspended semtance but not guaranteed by any stretch of the imagination.
He's had to sign the SOR and has a SHPO in place.
Another date to loom over me. Sentancing is a week before baby is due so I am panicking a bit. The last week has been horrific with anxiety and trying to get my head around the whole thing. Still worrying about losing my home if he gets a custodial and the media. I just seem to be stuck in a never ending cycle of worrying about everything.
Can I ask how you managed to 'switch off' and get some rest? I feel so alone sometimes it's horrible.
Sending you huge hugs. It really does sound horrific the amount of stress and pressure ypu have been under. X x x x x
I admire your strength and courage after everything you have been through.
So sorry, I had not seen that you had replied.
My husband has been referred to crown court for sentancing. It's possible that he will get a suspended semtance but not guaranteed by any stretch of the imagination.
He's had to sign the SOR and has a SHPO in place.
Another date to loom over me. Sentancing is a week before baby is due so I am panicking a bit. The last week has been horrific with anxiety and trying to get my head around the whole thing. Still worrying about losing my home if he gets a custodial and the media. I just seem to be stuck in a never ending cycle of worrying about everything.
Can I ask how you managed to 'switch off' and get some rest? I feel so alone sometimes it's horrible.
Sending you huge hugs. It really does sound horrific the amount of stress and pressure ypu have been under. X x x x x
Hi bluebell and lost
Your stories seem similar to mine. We got the knock only a few days ago. I'm currently 5 months pregnant.
im terrified he will go to jail (2 cases of talking sexually to underage girls online and sending them pictures -we believe at least one is a decoy). He's an idiot and a cheat and so much more - but I'm hoping he comes home and we can rebuild our life. I cannot afford my mortgage ect without him let alone childcare. We have been told it will probably be a suspended sentence but there are no guarantees and it seems the judges do whatever they want and sentences vary.
im super concerned about it being in the press and are considering my hubby changing his name prior to the court to protect us a bit.
would love to be updated on how you get on with sentences and how you have coped financially if you are ok to share.
Your stories seem similar to mine. We got the knock only a few days ago. I'm currently 5 months pregnant.
im terrified he will go to jail (2 cases of talking sexually to underage girls online and sending them pictures -we believe at least one is a decoy). He's an idiot and a cheat and so much more - but I'm hoping he comes home and we can rebuild our life. I cannot afford my mortgage ect without him let alone childcare. We have been told it will probably be a suspended sentence but there are no guarantees and it seems the judges do whatever they want and sentences vary.
im super concerned about it being in the press and are considering my hubby changing his name prior to the court to protect us a bit.
would love to be updated on how you get on with sentences and how you have coped financially if you are ok to share.