Ex is lying about court process?
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So, to update from my previous post about him being charged, I had it confirmed by the investigating officer that she'd been to tell him he was being charged, she gave me an idea of what the charges involved (iioc, extreme pornography and prohibited images) and advised me that while his hearing was at magistrates it would then be moved to crown. I had the full information (or as much as I could be given) 4 days after he had found out.
I called him and discussed with him that I knew he was being charged, that I was in communication with the investigating officer and knew when his hearing was and that I expected going forward to be kept in the loop. He apologised for me finding out through social services, and then told me that he family members who were supervising his visits knew and had also made the decision to not give me the information in a timely manner (apparently they thought it would be better to tell me face to face almost a week later, even after video calls that I've been guilted into sitting through.) So by this point, I'm calling into question whether I can trust any of them to be following the safety plan.
He called me after his hearing to tell me that there wasn't deemed to be enough evidence to proceed with the trial at that moment in time and that they would be reconvening in 4 weeks time after he and the prosecution had had a chance to speak to probation services. This all seemed a bit odd to me given what I'd been advised, so I contacted the investigating officer who told me that probation services were writing a presentencing report and that, to the knowledge she had, he had pleaded guilty. She's given me his next court date but not a time.
What do I even expect from here? He's lying to me about what's currently happening, I can't trust him to even be honest and give me the info I need. He and his family are acting like there's nothing going on. Should I expect further communication from social services now he's pled? Will the probation service call me to ask about the impact sentencing could have on our children?
To add the cherry on top the school called me to ask what was going on, and social services hadn't informed them he was being charged despite my original (now awol) social worker telling me it was social services job to keep the school informed. I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up.
I called him and discussed with him that I knew he was being charged, that I was in communication with the investigating officer and knew when his hearing was and that I expected going forward to be kept in the loop. He apologised for me finding out through social services, and then told me that he family members who were supervising his visits knew and had also made the decision to not give me the information in a timely manner (apparently they thought it would be better to tell me face to face almost a week later, even after video calls that I've been guilted into sitting through.) So by this point, I'm calling into question whether I can trust any of them to be following the safety plan.
He called me after his hearing to tell me that there wasn't deemed to be enough evidence to proceed with the trial at that moment in time and that they would be reconvening in 4 weeks time after he and the prosecution had had a chance to speak to probation services. This all seemed a bit odd to me given what I'd been advised, so I contacted the investigating officer who told me that probation services were writing a presentencing report and that, to the knowledge she had, he had pleaded guilty. She's given me his next court date but not a time.
What do I even expect from here? He's lying to me about what's currently happening, I can't trust him to even be honest and give me the info I need. He and his family are acting like there's nothing going on. Should I expect further communication from social services now he's pled? Will the probation service call me to ask about the impact sentencing could have on our children?
To add the cherry on top the school called me to ask what was going on, and social services hadn't informed them he was being charged despite my original (now awol) social worker telling me it was social services job to keep the school informed. I feel like I'm constantly playing catch up.
Lee is right about the next aspect of the process. Once the plea hearing is made it goes to crown court (in majority of cases) where a pre sentence report is done. I'm not sure how ex partners are informed....my partner told his ex about each date to give her the heads up and she chose to sit in on the sentencing (pre covid).
Maybe get in touch with the arresting officer? They are invited to the sentencing too
Maybe get in touch with the arresting officer? They are invited to the sentencing too
I thought the knock had devasted my life. So glad I do not have to deal with Social services (family all grown up). They seem to make things even more stressful (if thats possible). I know they are supposed to be protecting the children, but what about partners, wives,mums etc. They have to deal with the fallout and children that do not always know why Daddy is not living, seeing them anymore. I do not know how you all do it.