Accept and forgetting
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Hi all of you lady's how have you been to be able to forgive and forget am finding it so hard it's been 11 months Since the knock my partner of 19 years... I feel like I never really knew the man he was and how he could do something to hurt me and our children in the worst possible way he as been doing this awful thing for 20 years he says he won't do it again but how can he not when it's been such a big part of he's life for so long I feel so stupid that I never knew what as been going on though out our hole relationship I blame my self so much one day I feel like I can move on then the next I can't I just think how can he put someone he loves though so much hurt it's killing me in side I have always tried to keep my children in a save invorment And now I have ss on my back school nurses teacher from school and am just finding it so hard with everything that's going on if it wasn't for my boys I think I would of given up along time ago
thanks in advance for any reply x
thanks in advance for any reply x
There's alot of reasons why these offences take place and no one really knows what is going on in the offenders head. One thing I do know is that you are not to blame.
It's hard to process that someone you know so well can be living a hidden life. In my case it was a 16 year relationship.
It'll take a long time to build up a good level of trust again - maybe it'll never be the same but it can be a healthy relationship and there will be positive times again. There is no right or wrong thing to do. It's all so personal and unique to you.
Make sure you are looking after yourself. I hope you have some support.
xXx
It's hard to process that someone you know so well can be living a hidden life. In my case it was a 16 year relationship.
It'll take a long time to build up a good level of trust again - maybe it'll never be the same but it can be a healthy relationship and there will be positive times again. There is no right or wrong thing to do. It's all so personal and unique to you.
Make sure you are looking after yourself. I hope you have some support.
xXx
I'm nearly 2 years down the line and I haven't forgiven my partner yet it's a work in progress he's doing everything he can to turn his life around and is been open and honest with with me I'm slowly building my trust back up and we looking into couples counselling to help us
In no way is it your fault I know that easy to say because at the beginning I blamed myself why didn't I see what was going on but through CBT this forum and some amazing ladies I've meet on here I realised I wasn't alone and my partner actions weren't my fault you are not to blame
forgivens and trust will come with time as long as he's been open and honest and you both talk to each other write any questions down that are going through your head 1 so you remember them when you feel ready to ask & 2 so it helps get them out of your head that was advice I received and worked well for me
xx
In no way is it your fault I know that easy to say because at the beginning I blamed myself why didn't I see what was going on but through CBT this forum and some amazing ladies I've meet on here I realised I wasn't alone and my partner actions weren't my fault you are not to blame
forgivens and trust will come with time as long as he's been open and honest and you both talk to each other write any questions down that are going through your head 1 so you remember them when you feel ready to ask & 2 so it helps get them out of your head that was advice I received and worked well for me
xx