Court Date.
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Hi This is my first time writing on here, But I have been reading the forums since May 2020. I have wanted so many times to write but have never had the courage. The dreaded knock came 21st April 2020 and that was the day I felt my life had ended. I have been with my husband for 24years and he was arrested for iioc downloading and sharing... The police took all mobile phones, laptops, the pc tower, They went through every drawer every cupboard, under the beds, Absolutely Everywhere in the house and even the garden sheds etc... I have health problems and I have felt so ill since that day. He has admitted and has pleaded guilty to the charges, He has his hearing at the Magistrates Court March the 12th, I am so frightened of what is going to happen, I know he has done wrong but I don't want him to go to prison, He is my carer when he isn't at work. I am also on a right state about what will happen when people find out through the media. I do love my husband but I Hate him for ruining what we had. I am lost and alone in all of this I haven't told my daughter or anyone. Our 22yr old son was on the house with me the day the police came so he is the only support I have.
Sorry for rambling on I am so upset having to write this bit I need someone who has gone or is going through this hell.
Sorry for rambling on I am so upset having to write this bit I need someone who has gone or is going through this hell.
Hi Thank you for your reply. Yes this is his 1st court hearing. His solicitor these past 3 weeks has just been hounding for wage slips to see if my husband will be entitled to legal aid.(It seems he is just interested in being paid) He is not entitled!!! so we are looking at nearly £800 for the hearing next month and £1200+ for the sentencing. (All to be paid in full a week before the court date) We don't have that kind of money so this is just another worry. His solicitor hasn't mentioned character references. Do you think I should ring his solicitor and ask him about this?
How can my husband get help for what he has done through LFF?
I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. I am ill with worry.
Thank you. x
How can my husband get help for what he has done through LFF?
I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. I am ill with worry.
Thank you. x
LLR25,
Has your husband done any work to address his offending, courses, therapy etc? The LFF do their inform plus course for those under investigation for these crimes, however it's not cheap. He could ring them on a weekly basis to talk to which I know some men do. Anything he has done or is doing to address his behaviour will help when it comes to sentencing as mitigating factors.
if you haven't spoken to someone at the LFF then I would urge you to do so. They are there to listen to you and help and are very used to upset people whether that's partners or offenders.
Is your husband remorseful and opened up to tell you how he came to be in this position. In my experience if you are to make the relationship last he has to be honest with you and be able to talk to you and seek help for his behaviour.
The first court appearance is at Magistrates and will only last a matter of about 10 mins or so. They will read out the charges and he will say if he is pleading guilty or not. If he pleads guilty then the next court appearance is usually at crown court about 4 weeks later, although my husbands was adjourned for a further month due to Covid. He is due in court now early March so am beginning to get myself in a state again. The media thing is a real worry and is luck of the draw as to whether it is reported. I have known some cases to be reported at both plea and sentencing and I have known some to not be reported on at all. My husbands plea hearing doesn't appear to have been reported on but I am sick about thinking of the next appearance. One thing is for sure though we will get through this.
im pleased that you have your son to support you it is important to be able to talk openly to someone but you have to be so careful who. Can you get some counselling to help you? Also at some stage your daughter will find out if she ever has children of her own and therefore it might be wise to think about how you may tell her. It would be horrendous for her if she found out via the media if it were to be reported, which of course it may not be.
I hope I haven't scared you, I am sending a massive hug, it is a very frightening place to be with all this uncertainty but keep coming back on here there is always someone with help and advice. Sending love. Xx
Has your husband done any work to address his offending, courses, therapy etc? The LFF do their inform plus course for those under investigation for these crimes, however it's not cheap. He could ring them on a weekly basis to talk to which I know some men do. Anything he has done or is doing to address his behaviour will help when it comes to sentencing as mitigating factors.
if you haven't spoken to someone at the LFF then I would urge you to do so. They are there to listen to you and help and are very used to upset people whether that's partners or offenders.
Is your husband remorseful and opened up to tell you how he came to be in this position. In my experience if you are to make the relationship last he has to be honest with you and be able to talk to you and seek help for his behaviour.
The first court appearance is at Magistrates and will only last a matter of about 10 mins or so. They will read out the charges and he will say if he is pleading guilty or not. If he pleads guilty then the next court appearance is usually at crown court about 4 weeks later, although my husbands was adjourned for a further month due to Covid. He is due in court now early March so am beginning to get myself in a state again. The media thing is a real worry and is luck of the draw as to whether it is reported. I have known some cases to be reported at both plea and sentencing and I have known some to not be reported on at all. My husbands plea hearing doesn't appear to have been reported on but I am sick about thinking of the next appearance. One thing is for sure though we will get through this.
im pleased that you have your son to support you it is important to be able to talk openly to someone but you have to be so careful who. Can you get some counselling to help you? Also at some stage your daughter will find out if she ever has children of her own and therefore it might be wise to think about how you may tell her. It would be horrendous for her if she found out via the media if it were to be reported, which of course it may not be.
I hope I haven't scared you, I am sending a massive hug, it is a very frightening place to be with all this uncertainty but keep coming back on here there is always someone with help and advice. Sending love. Xx
To add to what Dottie has said about LFF helpline. My partner got a call log from LFF to prove he had engaged with them as evidence to the court. They didn't provide details of the convos.
Character references templates can be found online since all types of offenders can have these. But the solicitor will need to submit them on the offender's behalf so best to have these ready soon after the plea hearing.
It would also be worth asking the solicitor if they are aware of other fees to occur. My partner had to pay court fees within a few weeks of his sentence. But they allowed two installments. I can't remember how much it was and not sure how they are calculated
Character references templates can be found online since all types of offenders can have these. But the solicitor will need to submit them on the offender's behalf so best to have these ready soon after the plea hearing.
It would also be worth asking the solicitor if they are aware of other fees to occur. My partner had to pay court fees within a few weeks of his sentence. But they allowed two installments. I can't remember how much it was and not sure how they are calculated
Majestic, hiya love. You know you said about the call logs does my husband just request them?. How does it work, do they send them out in writing so you have paper proof?, cheers love
Hi Louise.
I have just asked my partner and he said that a simple phone call request but there was a fee (he can't remember how much bit isn't a big fee as it is an admin request). They send by email and by post. They were pretty quick to respond but this was pre covid (a few weeks)
I have just asked my partner and he said that a simple phone call request but there was a fee (he can't remember how much bit isn't a big fee as it is an admin request). They send by email and by post. They were pretty quick to respond but this was pre covid (a few weeks)
Hi LLR25,
I am going through exactly the same thing as you are, and feel exactly the same too, my hubby hasn't lived at home for the past year and that's how long it's taken for them to even charge him, he's up in court soon also, I am also praying it's not a custodial sentence too, he got himself in such a bad place and made some extremely bad choices, but he will have to face consequences and learn to be better, we can't do that for them, they have to xx I am literally so scared about the media I cannot sleep properly, we are victims of their crime including our children and it will change our futures as much as theirs, as a few ladies on here have advised me before, take each day as it comes, only thing we can do. I am also disabled myself and its hit me hard, and for the first time ever I am having to claim benefits, and I feel even more judged doing that too!! I have come to the realisation that for the foreseeable future, he has to live apart from us, so I can keep kids out the spotlight as much as possible, he has done all the Lucy faithful modules and will take folder to court, and I will do a character reference for him too, I don't know what the future holds now and it's knocked me for six, I can only hope and pray the media don't get hold of it xx I just wanted you to know you're not on your own, I'd be lost without this forum xx best wishes for you xx
I am going through exactly the same thing as you are, and feel exactly the same too, my hubby hasn't lived at home for the past year and that's how long it's taken for them to even charge him, he's up in court soon also, I am also praying it's not a custodial sentence too, he got himself in such a bad place and made some extremely bad choices, but he will have to face consequences and learn to be better, we can't do that for them, they have to xx I am literally so scared about the media I cannot sleep properly, we are victims of their crime including our children and it will change our futures as much as theirs, as a few ladies on here have advised me before, take each day as it comes, only thing we can do. I am also disabled myself and its hit me hard, and for the first time ever I am having to claim benefits, and I feel even more judged doing that too!! I have come to the realisation that for the foreseeable future, he has to live apart from us, so I can keep kids out the spotlight as much as possible, he has done all the Lucy faithful modules and will take folder to court, and I will do a character reference for him too, I don't know what the future holds now and it's knocked me for six, I can only hope and pray the media don't get hold of it xx I just wanted you to know you're not on your own, I'd be lost without this forum xx best wishes for you xx
Hi Dottie,
Thank you for your kind words.
My husband hasn't done any work with the LFF as yet he has called quite a few times but they have been busy and he works all week untill late. He has tried to ring again tonight but as it was answered the lady told him they were just closing, this was just before 9. Yes he is remorseful and we do talk and we both cry, He keeps telling me he is sorry, I am terrified about everything that is to come The Media is my biggest worry and him going to prison. He is my carer and has always been my rock. I am starting to do my character reference.
Sending you big hugs and I hope everything works out for you. Xxx
Thank you for your kind words.
My husband hasn't done any work with the LFF as yet he has called quite a few times but they have been busy and he works all week untill late. He has tried to ring again tonight but as it was answered the lady told him they were just closing, this was just before 9. Yes he is remorseful and we do talk and we both cry, He keeps telling me he is sorry, I am terrified about everything that is to come The Media is my biggest worry and him going to prison. He is my carer and has always been my rock. I am starting to do my character reference.
Sending you big hugs and I hope everything works out for you. Xxx