Family and Friends Forum

I am currently in a custody battle with the father of my son. I entered a new relationship and found out he was a registered sex offender. I was told by his police probation officer and himself that he was low risk, had undertaken courses such as Horizon to better himself over the years and help him become the person he is today and that any conditions around him being around young / vulnerable children had been removed. He persuaded me that everything would be fine, we could have a happy life, this wouldn’t affect my child or myself (as did his probation officer.) The probation officer said a referral to children social services would have to be made as my son was only 4 at the time, but not to worry as it was highly unlikely they would do anything due to her deeming my partner as reformed and a low risk. Social services contacted me to say my partner was intact high risk and asked me to sign Rules of Expectations which were that my partner was not to be unsupervised around my son or allowed to stay at my property overnight when my son was present. I said I needed to read the document first before agreeing to sign. My partner told me not to sign the agreement as it was social services way of controlling our relationship and to carry on as normal. I believed him as he told me his ex girlfriend had gone through the same process as she also had a child and social services took it no further. He made be think I could trust him and everything he said as I have never had any involvement with services before. When I informed social services I wouldn’t sign, they told me I had to inform my child’s father of the situation. I explained I was too scared as I knew he would take my son off me. They said if I didn’t tell him they would. I informed my sons father and he was told by social services to inform them if he believed the rules of expectations (even though they weren’t signed) had been broken. Me and my partner split up because of all of this and one night he turned up at my house distressed threatening to kill himself. I stupidly allowed him in when my son was asleep upstairs (this was 11pm) as I’m a kind hearted person and we spoke in the kitchen until 6 to calm him down and then I sent him home. With no more contact. My sons father found out (not sure how but I believe it was from my next door neighbours who he knew from school) and arrived to pick my son up for the night so I could (his words) “sort your shit out!” He said he would return my son the next morning and wouldn’t call social services. Within an hour he rang to say he had changed his mind and had called social services who informed him to keep my son until Monday when children services were back open (this was a Saturday) and they had agreed that as my sons father lives in Cheshire, he was to stay with his parents with my son in our hometown (which is also where he originally comes from) until we spoke to children services. Monday came and children services recommended my sons father exercise his parental responsibility and take my son back to Cheshire immediately and to apply for an urgent childcare arrangement order. I found this out when I called social services myself. When I rang my sons partner he informed me he had already left and was on his way back to Cheshire (I didn’t even have the chance to say goodbye to my son in person.) I was deemed high risk mother by children services and I should not be unsupervised around my son. I didn’t see him for 4 weeks as my sons father wouldn’t agree. 4 weeks later we agreed I could go to Cheshire accompanied by one of my parents to see my son in a local park to follow Covid guidelines. We both filed urgent court applications. At present a small hearing was held in January where my son is to stay with father for now until an interim hearing could be held to determine interim steps and I could have contact every Saturday (10am -4pm) supervised with my son. He also applied to swap my sons school to one in Cheshire but at present that has not been given a yes by the court.

I am doing everything I possibly can to prove to the court that I made a big mistake that I will forever regret letting my ex partner into the house that night, but I believe I was groomed as looking back I cannot believe the decision I made.

I feel like the worst mum in the world and I just can not believe this is happening to me and that I was so stupid. I honestly feel like I am the only one out there who could make such a huge life changing mistake. I will never forgive myself if I lose my son over this to his father