Tough week :-(
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This is the hardest week of all..the day is nearly upon us..as I sit here now and write this my eyes are red from crying..crying is all I've done for days as this week has found itself upon us..I hope and pray that God will be looking over us this week and that he will be with us on the dreaded day..I sit here all alone struggling to cope and there's no one I can turn to..im at a loss as to what to do.
My heart is breaking, I can't stop crying, sleep and food are barely an option and I can just about manage to get out of bed to get my daughter ready for school..
My heart is breaking, I can't stop crying, sleep and food are barely an option and I can just about manage to get out of bed to get my daughter ready for school..
Oh Annie bless you love. I presume you mean his day on court? Big hugs your almost there. You must try and eat something I know you don't feel like it but you need your strength to get through that important day. Do you have any support someone you trust who you can talk to? You will get through this. It's the fear of the unknown. I got through 8 months of limbo, telling no one, then media backlash but I'm still standing. You somehow find a way.
Biggest hugs tonight, try and get some sleep and tomorrow is a new day. Make sure you eat and take it easy on yourself. Go at your own pace. Xxxx
Biggest hugs tonight, try and get some sleep and tomorrow is a new day. Make sure you eat and take it easy on yourself. Go at your own pace. Xxxx
Hi yazz
Yes it's sentence day this week..its the fear of the unknown,the fear of what if,I know the end is in sight after a very long 2 years.hoping it doesn't get out and praying he doesn't get sent away..I dnt know how he'd cope let alone me..the fear of after everything I've done to show SS that I can and will keep our daughter safe should they say he cant come home.that itself will devastate him.fear of thinking what kind of pre-sentence report has probation sent to the judge/Court and how will they perceive him.my family live 5/6 miles away from me so really I only have 1 friend nearby to me but can't visit each other due to covid..we keep in touch every other week by txt and I update her as and when..so really it's just me and my daughter..i have a son who lives near by he doesn't know whats going on so can't talk to him and my other son knows but also lives 5/6 miles away..im so lonely:-(
Just hope and pray he can come home and we can try to start our new journey
Yes it's sentence day this week..its the fear of the unknown,the fear of what if,I know the end is in sight after a very long 2 years.hoping it doesn't get out and praying he doesn't get sent away..I dnt know how he'd cope let alone me..the fear of after everything I've done to show SS that I can and will keep our daughter safe should they say he cant come home.that itself will devastate him.fear of thinking what kind of pre-sentence report has probation sent to the judge/Court and how will they perceive him.my family live 5/6 miles away from me so really I only have 1 friend nearby to me but can't visit each other due to covid..we keep in touch every other week by txt and I update her as and when..so really it's just me and my daughter..i have a son who lives near by he doesn't know whats going on so can't talk to him and my other son knows but also lives 5/6 miles away..im so lonely:-(
Just hope and pray he can come home and we can try to start our new journey
Yazz
I wont even be with him in court on sentencing day as its not allowed so I will be sitting here at home on my own waiting and waiting to hear the outcome..i feel sick now at the thought,what am I going to be like on the day?
There isn't anyone that can come and sit with me because apart from the 1 friend I have, we've told no one else because it's no one else's business and we simply don't trust anyone else xx
I wont even be with him in court on sentencing day as its not allowed so I will be sitting here at home on my own waiting and waiting to hear the outcome..i feel sick now at the thought,what am I going to be like on the day?
There isn't anyone that can come and sit with me because apart from the 1 friend I have, we've told no one else because it's no one else's business and we simply don't trust anyone else xx
I feel for you right now. I was a mess the days leading up to sentencing. Your head is spinning with all the what ifs.
Right now everything is out of your control, and that really is the worst bit. Things will play out the way they will. The best and only thing you can do right now is to make sure you look after yourself and worry only about what you can control.
If you haven't already done so, make sure you are prepared for the worst case scenario of a custodial. Ultimately you have to hope for the best, but until the judge makes that decision on the day you just don't know.
Whatever happens on the day with sentencing and with the media, this stage is finally the end of limbo and the beginning of getting on with the rest of your lives. You should find that SS are finally told the full details of the case and are in a better position to make final judgments. I don't have children so I have never had to deal with SS, thankfully as they do seem to be the worst part in all of this.
if you really are struggling and have no-one to talk to, try the LFF helpline. I didn't tell anyone until months after sentencing when I was forced by my husbands offender manager to tell my sister as she has children though my husband hasn't seen them in years. I dreaded telling her, scared of what she might say or if she'd even let me see her kids again. She, however, was more upset that I'd gone through the whole thing alone and that she hadn't been able to be there for me. I know there is always a risk with telling people, but if there is someone you feel you can trust, try opening up to them.
Right now everything is out of your control, and that really is the worst bit. Things will play out the way they will. The best and only thing you can do right now is to make sure you look after yourself and worry only about what you can control.
If you haven't already done so, make sure you are prepared for the worst case scenario of a custodial. Ultimately you have to hope for the best, but until the judge makes that decision on the day you just don't know.
Whatever happens on the day with sentencing and with the media, this stage is finally the end of limbo and the beginning of getting on with the rest of your lives. You should find that SS are finally told the full details of the case and are in a better position to make final judgments. I don't have children so I have never had to deal with SS, thankfully as they do seem to be the worst part in all of this.
if you really are struggling and have no-one to talk to, try the LFF helpline. I didn't tell anyone until months after sentencing when I was forced by my husbands offender manager to tell my sister as she has children though my husband hasn't seen them in years. I dreaded telling her, scared of what she might say or if she'd even let me see her kids again. She, however, was more upset that I'd gone through the whole thing alone and that she hadn't been able to be there for me. I know there is always a risk with telling people, but if there is someone you feel you can trust, try opening up to them.
My
Ive done all I can with SS and so has hubby..there's nothing more we can do..ive put everything in place that I could think of to make it safe at home should he be allowed to return, SS are the worst part.They nit pick, they judge ,they assume etc..They speak to u like your something they've just stepped in..They come across as though they're twisting what u say and the things they ask are incredibly personal .I'm not really one for speaking on the phone as I often can't find the words that I need or want to say.
I'm at a loss as to what to do anymore and dnt know what to do for the best xx
Ive done all I can with SS and so has hubby..there's nothing more we can do..ive put everything in place that I could think of to make it safe at home should he be allowed to return, SS are the worst part.They nit pick, they judge ,they assume etc..They speak to u like your something they've just stepped in..They come across as though they're twisting what u say and the things they ask are incredibly personal .I'm not really one for speaking on the phone as I often can't find the words that I need or want to say.
I'm at a loss as to what to do anymore and dnt know what to do for the best xx
Oh Annie I feel your fear I really do. I've followed your journey on here through all the forum posts and recently your nightmares with SS. I think like everyone says really try and look after yourself as you will need to muster up all the strength for the outcome. I know that's easier said than done, I suffer with IBS and since the knock I've lost over a stone, couldn't eat with worry then IBS flares up cos with me it's stress related. I would definately try the helpline even if it's so you can cry and let it all out to someone else. I know this might not help everyone but it does me, when I'm having an episode of panic and crying and anxiety I take myself off to lie on the bed or quietly on my sofa. Lie flat on my back, eyes shut and no distractions and I do deep long breathing. I know it doesn't solve anything but it helps in those moments of sheer dread and panic. Keep coming on here to talk too especially when you know what's happened as we are all here to support you, take care love xx
Louise
I really don't know what else we can do to show SS that our daughter will be safe and that I will see to it that she is..ive put enough things into place to prove that she will be,done course after course to show SS I can keep her safe..
Hubby been interrogated by SS asking incredibly personal questions..we understand its up to the judge on the day..Hubby really has done all he can to show remorse,but hes so scared of not being able to come home and being sent away..He knows all 2 well this is all his doing and all because of one stupid stupid mistake that he'll live with for the rest of his life.Im not really good on the phone as I can't find the words..
We hope and pray that probation have given a good pre-sentence report that will hopefully show hes low risk which I believe he is due to him being given unconditional bail.The days are long and the waiting is horrendous..My head is swimming literally and I cant take much more
Xx
I really don't know what else we can do to show SS that our daughter will be safe and that I will see to it that she is..ive put enough things into place to prove that she will be,done course after course to show SS I can keep her safe..
Hubby been interrogated by SS asking incredibly personal questions..we understand its up to the judge on the day..Hubby really has done all he can to show remorse,but hes so scared of not being able to come home and being sent away..He knows all 2 well this is all his doing and all because of one stupid stupid mistake that he'll live with for the rest of his life.Im not really good on the phone as I can't find the words..
We hope and pray that probation have given a good pre-sentence report that will hopefully show hes low risk which I believe he is due to him being given unconditional bail.The days are long and the waiting is horrendous..My head is swimming literally and I cant take much more
Xx
Oh love, you really really have done everything you possibly could do with regards to SS and so has your husband. Now if he gets a community sentence etc then surely probation need him to have somewhere to live? And the only place he has to live is home. Do the SS think you have an endless pot of money lying somewhere so your husband can rent a flat/ room? I know we certainly don't! And I'd be fighting them on that! Do they think you should totally destroy your family by selling your house ( if you don't rent) going it alone, and causing more damage to you and your family, I'm certainly not doing that either!. So whatever your husbands outcome I think you can find that strength in you to fight anything you don't want from the SS. You've done it already love, you've exhausted all the things possible to " tick the SS boxes"!. Honestly I know you are very low right now but I sense from all your posts you have got it in you!
Louise
Hubby is currently living at my dad's and gives my dad a small amount of money each month for him being there,but hubby told SS last week that being at my dad's cant really be a long term option but I know my dad wouldn't throw him out at any time but that's not the point really..We don't own our house, we rent..
SS asked my husband last week how it would make our daughter feel if he wasnt allowed home..
How can we fight them if they say he cant come home?
Our SW has even said she can see that I can keep our daughter safe its just for them to be able to manage the risk side of things and that if they want to close the case and allow him home then they can do it confidently
As u say Louise,we don't have an endless pot of money at the moment and while this has been going on I've found myself having to claim universal credit which I never thought I'd have 2.Thats stressful in itself having to comply with whats expected xx
Hubby is currently living at my dad's and gives my dad a small amount of money each month for him being there,but hubby told SS last week that being at my dad's cant really be a long term option but I know my dad wouldn't throw him out at any time but that's not the point really..We don't own our house, we rent..
SS asked my husband last week how it would make our daughter feel if he wasnt allowed home..
How can we fight them if they say he cant come home?
Our SW has even said she can see that I can keep our daughter safe its just for them to be able to manage the risk side of things and that if they want to close the case and allow him home then they can do it confidently
As u say Louise,we don't have an endless pot of money at the moment and while this has been going on I've found myself having to claim universal credit which I never thought I'd have 2.Thats stressful in itself having to comply with whats expected xx
Its nearly 9 and I'm not even dressed and haven't even washed the breakfast dishes up or tidied up and ive a course to be getting on with..
Cant find the energy for any of it :-(
Cant find the energy for any of it :-(
Thanks all for your kind words xx
Just can't face the prospect of him never being able to come home until she's 18 as SS took great pleasure in saying it could end up like that and didn't seem to care about how we'd maintain a relationship if that were the case or how it'd affect our daughter not having her dad around xx
Dear Annie
My heart breaks reading the desperation in your words. As for the day in question I would try and keep as busy as possible. I sat consumed online and it did me no good. Maybe do an itinerary of things you could do throughout the day with your little one to keep busy? Writing it all down is a good way of releasing those thoughts and feelings too. I often did this then burnt the papers. You have done your absolute best in regards to ss and all of that. It really now is in the hands of the judge. It's easy for me to say that but it is. I had countless nights of worry and it really didn't change anything. I would like Lee said put the focus now on looking after you, making yourself strong and prepared for that day ahead and you are strong look how far you have come already, you have made it to this day. Big hugs xx
My heart breaks reading the desperation in your words. As for the day in question I would try and keep as busy as possible. I sat consumed online and it did me no good. Maybe do an itinerary of things you could do throughout the day with your little one to keep busy? Writing it all down is a good way of releasing those thoughts and feelings too. I often did this then burnt the papers. You have done your absolute best in regards to ss and all of that. It really now is in the hands of the judge. It's easy for me to say that but it is. I had countless nights of worry and it really didn't change anything. I would like Lee said put the focus now on looking after you, making yourself strong and prepared for that day ahead and you are strong look how far you have come already, you have made it to this day. Big hugs xx
I'm with you Annie. My husband went to court on Friday, see previous thread. He's now on SOR and sentencing is next month.
I too am on my own. He lives miles away. We haven't officially separated, and I am now trying to stop myself spiralling. Rationally I know it is a waste of my energy, but the overwhelming fear and worry is all consuming. It was dreadful waiting to hear the outcome. Terrible to be in the hands of others and have no control. After all, it affects my life too.
I've tried to talk to the helpline, can't get through. This is too big for my friends and family to help me through, they are upset that they can't help, not even a hug. I feel I need to protect myself from having to discuss it, and protect them from the pain and upset they will go through. So I have only told 2 others about court. They don't know what to say or do, just words of encouragement. But they don't help do they?!
Head and heart don't work together...that's my problem.
big hugs, we both need them!
Xxxx
I too am on my own. He lives miles away. We haven't officially separated, and I am now trying to stop myself spiralling. Rationally I know it is a waste of my energy, but the overwhelming fear and worry is all consuming. It was dreadful waiting to hear the outcome. Terrible to be in the hands of others and have no control. After all, it affects my life too.
I've tried to talk to the helpline, can't get through. This is too big for my friends and family to help me through, they are upset that they can't help, not even a hug. I feel I need to protect myself from having to discuss it, and protect them from the pain and upset they will go through. So I have only told 2 others about court. They don't know what to say or do, just words of encouragement. But they don't help do they?!
Head and heart don't work together...that's my problem.
big hugs, we both need them!
Xxxx
Oh, and another reason I'm keeping it quiet is to see what the vigilantes will do, if word gets out via them I will be reporting them to the Police, and I will make the police sick to death of me. They have done nothing for me, other than make sure my neighbours knew they visited to tell me of his arrest, in high vis uniforms.....and gossip and inform his family, which of course they deny.
Yazz my daughter is 11 so will be at school on the day..so I will literally be here on my own clock watching from early morning and waiting for the phone to ring..
There is no one that can come and be with me so I'll be here on my own with my mind going into overdrive
Xx
There is no one that can come and be with me so I'll be here on my own with my mind going into overdrive
Xx
Tabs we've kept it quiet for reason's such as we really dnt trust anyone. There's only my immediate family that know and a friend of mine..my husband has chosen not to tell any of his family not even his mother because he simply doesn't trust her..
We've kept it close to our chests since the day it all began because we've always been of the understanding that the less people that know the better..it's no something u really want to bring into the conversation is it? No one has really picked up on y hubby isn't at home for the simple reason ,they all think he's in bed because he works nights..so to not see him, isn't out of the ordinary.
Xx
We've kept it close to our chests since the day it all began because we've always been of the understanding that the less people that know the better..it's no something u really want to bring into the conversation is it? No one has really picked up on y hubby isn't at home for the simple reason ,they all think he's in bed because he works nights..so to not see him, isn't out of the ordinary.
Xx
Hi To Everyone
I hope you don't mind me messaging.
It has been 20 months since That Horrible Day,! when they knocked at the door, I felt like my life ended that day,
My husband and I are still together and I am supporting him, The last year has been so hard. His hearing is in a couple of weeks and I am dreading it He has tried to ring LFF for months when he's got in from work and hasn't been able to get through to anyone. I am absolutely petrified of the media being at the court. I havent told Anyone There is only Me my husband and our 23yr old son know. I have had to keep all my feelings to myself for nearly a year as our son doesn't want to talk about it and when he does he gets upset and angry about what his dad has done. So I am alone in this horrible situation. I feel sick and ill everyday I can't eat or sleep.x
I hope you don't mind me messaging.
It has been 20 months since That Horrible Day,! when they knocked at the door, I felt like my life ended that day,
My husband and I are still together and I am supporting him, The last year has been so hard. His hearing is in a couple of weeks and I am dreading it He has tried to ring LFF for months when he's got in from work and hasn't been able to get through to anyone. I am absolutely petrified of the media being at the court. I havent told Anyone There is only Me my husband and our 23yr old son know. I have had to keep all my feelings to myself for nearly a year as our son doesn't want to talk about it and when he does he gets upset and angry about what his dad has done. So I am alone in this horrible situation. I feel sick and ill everyday I can't eat or sleep.x
Oh LLR, firstly how horrendous that it's been going on for nearly 2 years! It must of been horrific for you. Have you had any sort of therapy?. It's hard that your son doesn't want to talk either isn't it as you really have bottled it up and that's so damaging for you. It's crazy to me that so many women and families go through the fear and dread of this getting out into the papers and wider community. With me that fear in some ways is worse than the actual punishment my husband might get. I could handle prison/ community order/ sor/ etc etc if I could know the press and social media wouldn't report his crime. I'm supporting my husband too but it's a huge strain isn't it having the weight of the unknown always hanging over you.
LLR
Its a nightmare we find ourselves in it really is..we have also told no one except close family on my side who are in total support of my husband and whats going on.my husband is currently living at my dad's due to SS not allowing him home at present.
We've kept it to ourselves simply because it's no one else's business and the less people that know the better,and its been that way since it began nearly 2yrs ago..we've kept quiet simply to protect ourselves as much as possible..our daughter has been amazing through all of it and misses her dad desperately and sees him as she's always seen him ,her daft as a doughnut dad..
Decision day is tomorrow and I'm sick with worry about what will happen..I won't be there with my husband so I will be sitting here on my own waiting to hear the outcome and I hope and pray with everything that I have that the outcome will be in his favour
Maybe suggest your son opens up a bit more to you as you are going through it as much as he is.
I have chosen to stand by my husband because for however and whatever reason this has happened to us,he made a one time stupid stupid mistake that will be with him forever
Xxx
Its a nightmare we find ourselves in it really is..we have also told no one except close family on my side who are in total support of my husband and whats going on.my husband is currently living at my dad's due to SS not allowing him home at present.
We've kept it to ourselves simply because it's no one else's business and the less people that know the better,and its been that way since it began nearly 2yrs ago..we've kept quiet simply to protect ourselves as much as possible..our daughter has been amazing through all of it and misses her dad desperately and sees him as she's always seen him ,her daft as a doughnut dad..
Decision day is tomorrow and I'm sick with worry about what will happen..I won't be there with my husband so I will be sitting here on my own waiting to hear the outcome and I hope and pray with everything that I have that the outcome will be in his favour
Maybe suggest your son opens up a bit more to you as you are going through it as much as he is.
I have chosen to stand by my husband because for however and whatever reason this has happened to us,he made a one time stupid stupid mistake that will be with him forever
Xxx
Annie I just wanted to let you know that I will be thinking of you tomorrow; it brings back memories for me too.
I went to the Crown court with my husband but did not go into the courtroom. Forty minutes of waiting to see if my husband would come through those doors again; it was nerve wracking.
It was a relief when my husband finally did come through those doors again with an 8 month suspended sentence for eighteen months. All of the effort we had made with the SS, Police, counselling, LFF, character reference for my husband had brought us to this place. And yet even though SS had closed our case; this was the day I felt that I needed them the most backing me up in the interest of my son if it came out in the media. No such luck; we got through it and then the next step was to get my husband home.
Keep coming on here. It was because of your case and Lee1969 that encouraged me to finally write my first post today. I felt all of the time that I was on trial by the SS and I hadn’t done anything wrong.
Take care and I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
xxx
I went to the Crown court with my husband but did not go into the courtroom. Forty minutes of waiting to see if my husband would come through those doors again; it was nerve wracking.
It was a relief when my husband finally did come through those doors again with an 8 month suspended sentence for eighteen months. All of the effort we had made with the SS, Police, counselling, LFF, character reference for my husband had brought us to this place. And yet even though SS had closed our case; this was the day I felt that I needed them the most backing me up in the interest of my son if it came out in the media. No such luck; we got through it and then the next step was to get my husband home.
Keep coming on here. It was because of your case and Lee1969 that encouraged me to finally write my first post today. I felt all of the time that I was on trial by the SS and I hadn’t done anything wrong.
Take care and I will be thinking of you tomorrow.
xxx
Autumn gold
Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts..im feeling sick to my stomach as to what may happen tomorrow..my daughter and I have been with my husband today and I broke down because I dnt want today to be the last time we see him..
He was nearly crying 2, he's so sorry for all of this and wishes he could turn the clock back and never have gone near kik.
I will be on my own tomorrow waiting and waiting and waiting until I get a phone call..Then waiting to see if SS will allow him home
I really could throw up at the thought of tomorrow
I will post tomorrow and let u all know of the outcome
Xxx
Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts..im feeling sick to my stomach as to what may happen tomorrow..my daughter and I have been with my husband today and I broke down because I dnt want today to be the last time we see him..
He was nearly crying 2, he's so sorry for all of this and wishes he could turn the clock back and never have gone near kik.
I will be on my own tomorrow waiting and waiting and waiting until I get a phone call..Then waiting to see if SS will allow him home
I really could throw up at the thought of tomorrow
I will post tomorrow and let u all know of the outcome
Xxx
Annie, I just wanted to say I'm thinking of you today. Sending over a virtual hug and we are all by your side. I know we don't know each other properly but we are all here through a traumatic time in our lives and I know I'm gaining strength from the support of you lovely ladies on here that I'll never meet properly!. I'm keeping everything crossed for you love and I hope your husband gets a positive outcome. I know it won't be easy and I can't say everything will be fine but keep looking forwards not backwards, take care and update us all later love xx
Louise
I am sat here shaking and feel physically sick..I'm clock watching and here on my own..I don't know what to do or what is going to happen:-(
xx
I am sat here shaking and feel physically sick..I'm clock watching and here on my own..I don't know what to do or what is going to happen:-(
xx
Oh love, I honestly wish I could phone you right now! I know how you feel it's an absolutely horrible feeling isn't it waiting for dreaded news. Are you at home? Or outside the court?. I know I've said but do some deep breathing. In for 4 seconds, hold for 2 seconds then out for 4, it helps with the immediate anxiety, calms you down.Can you go out somewhere for a walk?. Is there something you can watch on telly that you fully get absorbed in ( for me I binge watched the whole of Downton Abbey again!, I mean my daughter thinks I'm so uncool! But I love a historical drama). What time is your husbands case?. Don't worry about trying to eat just drink water so you keep the headaches at bay. I'm sat here waiting till 11 ( got CBT therapy till 12ish). I will virtually sit with you right now if you want. Keep talking if you want to, I'll reply xxx
We can talk about other stuff if you like?!. I know it's all anonymous on here so we can be careful!. Here goes, I'm nearly 50 this year!. I love rambling across the fields with my dog, fashion! ( yeah I'm a young 49 year old lol!). I love art and interior design and Instagram!. My teenage children are my world but also do my head in! They are far too expensive!. Sorry I'm rambling but I hope that distracted you for a minute or so xx
I'm at home Louise on my own, our daughter is 11 and she's at high school this morning..I'm 52 nearly ...I wasnt able to go to court due to having our daughter here but my dad has gone with husband..his hearing is at 10..
I can't face going out, can't concentrate on watching tv, I've been sipping diluted juice because it's all I can manage..
ive 2 older children aswell..one is nearly 29 and the other nearly 27..the thing I'm scared of the most is it getting out , I don't know what we'll do
xx
I can't face going out, can't concentrate on watching tv, I've been sipping diluted juice because it's all I can manage..
ive 2 older children aswell..one is nearly 29 and the other nearly 27..the thing I'm scared of the most is it getting out , I don't know what we'll do
xx
Hubby likes to make music( has a set of dj decks) likes showing our daughter how to make music aswell and teaches her about all the different noyes and what they mean.
We have a cat called Edward and hubby has a bearded dragon called reggie.we dnt socialise much,we prefer to keep ourselves to ourselves ( very private as a family) we tell no one anything
Xx
We have a cat called Edward and hubby has a bearded dragon called reggie.we dnt socialise much,we prefer to keep ourselves to ourselves ( very private as a family) we tell no one anything
Xx
Me and hubby like to watch the walking dead,prison break,we watch hollyoaks aswell ( we lead a wild life ha ha )
Neither of us is really interested in alcohol ( hubby can't anyway as he's on anti depressants)
Enjoy takeaways as a treat..
My older boys aren't my husband's and they don't live at home ( thank god)
Xx
Neither of us is really interested in alcohol ( hubby can't anyway as he's on anti depressants)
Enjoy takeaways as a treat..
My older boys aren't my husband's and they don't live at home ( thank god)
Xx
I love your cats name!! My go to soaps are Corrie and Emmerdale! How brilliant your husband has decks etc. You deserve to have him home love you really do. I like red wine lol! My ideal evening at home is Saturday night, lovely home cooked steak meal, bottle of red and Saturday telly! I love Ant and Dec and that's back on now!. My husband doesn't drink really at home!. My daughter was 18 last year so at the moment she has a gin and quiz night on FaceTime with all her mates on the weekends!. She's very cool and very sociable! And also spends far too much money on clothes! ( my money I hasten to add! Hopefully getting another part time job soon, laid off last year due to covid) she studies at college. My son is very chilled, hates school, loves hanging out with his mates and can't wait to finish school. He's got a place at college in September and I think it will be the making of him. He's bright but not academically he's more practical so is doing a vocational course
Hubby is younger than me Louise and music has always been his life..its always been something he found comfort in when he was younger and living at home especially when his mum and dad split up..
He loves the gym aswell and IAPS told him that he must keep going to the gym ( although not possible at the moment) by means of therapy..it will give him something to focus on and he desperately misses being able to "thrash it out " at the gym..
Our cat had that name when he came to us..hes jet black and I believe his breed is "bombay" .hes very greedy and lazy and likes to sleep alot ( more of an indoor cat )
Xx
He loves the gym aswell and IAPS told him that he must keep going to the gym ( although not possible at the moment) by means of therapy..it will give him something to focus on and he desperately misses being able to "thrash it out " at the gym..
Our cat had that name when he came to us..hes jet black and I believe his breed is "bombay" .hes very greedy and lazy and likes to sleep alot ( more of an indoor cat )
Xx
The waiting is horrendous:-(
How long does it all take ?
How long does it all take ?
Annie, the waiting is horrible I know how your feeling. Listen I don't know how long it can actually take in court, will your Father ring you soon as? ( it's your dad that's gone with him isn't it?). Once this is all over love and it will be, you need to get through the next few weeks/ months but this might help. I'm trying to focus on 5/ 10 years time. Trying to vision getting through it all to the other side. I know you can't think of it today love but honestly when it's all over and your husband isnt home yet, do some long term focussing and dreaming. I know with me and Im guessing with you I always think of " crikey I'll be 60 in 10 years time"! Don't waste that decade, life is for living it really is. This is the most horrendous time in all our lives it really is but the way I see it is it really really cant go on for eternity if you don't want it to
sorry I'm such a babbler! If you knew me in real life I'd talk you to death!
sorry I'm such a babbler! If you knew me in real life I'd talk you to death!
Yes it's my dad who's there with him..hopefully either my dad or hubby will ring..I just need to know.. theres no guarantee that he'll be able to come home according to SS..that decision is down to them I believe,they could still say he cant come back even after everything I've done to show them our daughter will be safe and that I can do just that..
We will focus on being a family again if he can come home and try and look to the future xx
We will focus on being a family again if he can come home and try and look to the future xx
Listen love, don't focus on SS you can deal with them you really can. I know they have a lot of input but they arent the law. You've armed yourself with so so much knowledge so keep firm with them and you will get through it. My therapy session is coming up soon so I'll be back soon. I promise I'll " be" with you today. In fact I'll even reply on my dog walk later. Speak in a bit love, stay strong xx
Thank you Louise
Speak soon xx
Speak soon xx
Hi Annie
I've just been reading through your post. This really is the hardest day. I'm early on in this and my husband hasn't been charged yet but this is the day I dread so I cannot imagine what you feel now.
How are you doing? Have you got anything to do this evening to relax whether it be a positive or negative outcome? I imagine there will be an element of relief this won't be there eat away at your mind any more it will be another stage complete and a step closer to living your life again x
I've just been reading through your post. This really is the hardest day. I'm early on in this and my husband hasn't been charged yet but this is the day I dread so I cannot imagine what you feel now.
How are you doing? Have you got anything to do this evening to relax whether it be a positive or negative outcome? I imagine there will be an element of relief this won't be there eat away at your mind any more it will be another stage complete and a step closer to living your life again x
Sapphire ive nothing to do this evening and I wouldn't be able to concentrate even if there was something to do..
still waiting to here..case was at 10 this morning and still not a word..sat here on my own wondering why it's taking so long xx
still waiting to here..case was at 10 this morning and still not a word..sat here on my own wondering why it's taking so long xx
Worried sick , not doing great, feel sick and shakey xx
I think I will be the same when our day comes. This will pass, your getting closer to being able to not having to worry about this day coming any more as it will be done and you will know the outcome and can deal with it. You've came this far so you are strong. You can do this, it's very tough especially by yourself. Maybe this evening you just need a hot bath and a soak and an early night to rest your brain from the thinking x
Annie, my therapy is done, hope you are ok?. I'm gonna take my dog out ( she's giving me the stare!) but I'll come back and check in on you love xx
Hi eveyone
its finally over
3yrs community service and 5yrs on the SOR
its finally over
3yrs community service and 5yrs on the SOR
Hi lee
the actual charges were just for being In possession of iioc
the actual charges were just for being In possession of iioc
It's better than we expected we know that much..the judge told him that he doesn't normally give 2nd chances but on this occasion he could see that he'd made a stupid mistake and that also he had a clean record with no other convictions and he was going to make an exception and give him another chance xx
Annie, I hope you're ok?, I actually feel relief for you my love!. Honestly I really think that's ok and the judge sounded understanding. Now breathe! Have a cuppa and chill. You've had an incredibly stressful time, but this day you were dreading is over. Now get that strength back for SS, remember you've done everything you can and I'm guessing ( I'm not sure someone else would advise better?!) but yeah I'm guessing probation will be pushing for him to have a solid place to live?. Like you say he can't live at your Dads forever and you don't want that and a community order is rehabilitation plus the judge has seen fit to give him a second chance so the SS HAVE to take on board all this. Well done for getting through today! I bought wine! ( I mean any excuse for me to have a glass of red!) xx
Louise I feel a sense of relief more for my husband than I do for me..he was so scared they were going to send him away.
ive had a coffee and a danish pastry ( pecan nuts) SS are the next hurdle and Im hoping that they follow the advice of probation..surely as u say or can see, although he will be classed as a risk, maybe not a high one?
The judge was going to hand out an 8month suspended sentence but upon advice decided that he would give him a chance and could see as he told him that he'd made a stupid mistake..he's taking everything on board now because he knows he has to.
I don't know what happens now in terms of SS..do probation get in touch with them to let them know the outcome? No one has told me what's next..I have a CIN meeting via telephone with SW and school next week..and SW told hubby that everything would be wrapped up by the end of the month..
She has til midweek and then I'll be contacting her because enough is enough now..If the judge has passed this sentence, then surely he can see he's not high risk?
I would love a glass of wine but that might be a bad idea on a school night..
I'm feeling better than I was this morning because as you could sense, I was terrified they were going to take him away from us.
I sensed my daughter was quiet for a reason and I'm guessing the answer as to why was because she knew where her dad was going today and perhaps she was worried in the same way I was and maybe she thought "what if yesterday was the last time I saw him"
but now I can tell her he's ok
xx
ive had a coffee and a danish pastry ( pecan nuts) SS are the next hurdle and Im hoping that they follow the advice of probation..surely as u say or can see, although he will be classed as a risk, maybe not a high one?
The judge was going to hand out an 8month suspended sentence but upon advice decided that he would give him a chance and could see as he told him that he'd made a stupid mistake..he's taking everything on board now because he knows he has to.
I don't know what happens now in terms of SS..do probation get in touch with them to let them know the outcome? No one has told me what's next..I have a CIN meeting via telephone with SW and school next week..and SW told hubby that everything would be wrapped up by the end of the month..
She has til midweek and then I'll be contacting her because enough is enough now..If the judge has passed this sentence, then surely he can see he's not high risk?
I would love a glass of wine but that might be a bad idea on a school night..
I'm feeling better than I was this morning because as you could sense, I was terrified they were going to take him away from us.
I sensed my daughter was quiet for a reason and I'm guessing the answer as to why was because she knew where her dad was going today and perhaps she was worried in the same way I was and maybe she thought "what if yesterday was the last time I saw him"
but now I can tell her he's ok
xx
Annie it sounds like a better result than you had expected which is good. You've done really well today. It's nice to hear that some judges are understanding in their approach as well. I hope you manage to relax this evening and sleep and rest your mind. It's such a big hurdle that you've overcome now and you sound like you will be ready and prepared for social services and you've done all that you can.
Saphire
I really really hope so and that they say he can come home xx
I really really hope so and that they say he can come home xx
Annie, just checking in with you?, hope you're ok love. I've thought about you all day and felt your stress and your relief! And now I just know you will be ready for whatever the SW throws at you. Hope your daughter is ok this evening ( I'm having your share of a glass of wine!). Have you spoke with your husband? Hope he's ok, he must of been so terrified in court eh love. Take care and try to relax this evening and tomorrow do something you love, even if it's just for half an hour, a nice soak in the bath, face pack, daytime telly. Just anything to calm you for your next big fight, getting your husband home where he belongs xx
Hi Louise
I'm feeling a little better this evening and have even managed to eat some tea with my daughter ( homemade meatballs and spaghetti) Hope your enjoying the red wine( sounds delish) my daughter is great ,spoke to her about dad when she came home from school and told her he hadn't been sent to prison to which she replied " I knew he wasn't going to prison because I can tell the future "
Yes I've spoken to my husband several times today.he feels like a massive weight has been lifted off his shoulders.he was so scared of what was going to happen today and says hes so sorry for putting me and our daughter through this and he will never ever put us through anything like this or as bad as this ever again.
Going to watch an episode of Luther or Vera maybe,then head up to bed with a cup of builder's tea lol and try and read a book for a bit before i try and sleep ..thank you for being there today and keeping me sane and ill keep u updated on things
Xxx
I'm feeling a little better this evening and have even managed to eat some tea with my daughter ( homemade meatballs and spaghetti) Hope your enjoying the red wine( sounds delish) my daughter is great ,spoke to her about dad when she came home from school and told her he hadn't been sent to prison to which she replied " I knew he wasn't going to prison because I can tell the future "
Yes I've spoken to my husband several times today.he feels like a massive weight has been lifted off his shoulders.he was so scared of what was going to happen today and says hes so sorry for putting me and our daughter through this and he will never ever put us through anything like this or as bad as this ever again.
Going to watch an episode of Luther or Vera maybe,then head up to bed with a cup of builder's tea lol and try and read a book for a bit before i try and sleep ..thank you for being there today and keeping me sane and ill keep u updated on things
Xxx
I also managed to do an online shop with morrisons aswell so got that to look forward to tomorrow xx
Annie – hope you are ok? I am so glad that this part of the process is over for you. I bet it was a massive relief; it was to me once the limbo was over. I picked up my son from school after the Court case and told him the news. Just a thought I informed the school of the outcome just so that they could look out for my son’s wellbeing. Did your husband get a SHPO as well?
Our journey began in July 2019; my husband was arrested for possession of IIOC, through a porn addiction, no sharing or distribution, contact or communication offence charge. In June 2020 my husband was charged with high numbers in all three categories A. B and C, no second interview and Magistrates; a pre-sentence report was completed and Crown Court four weeks later in September.
After the Magistrates my husband signed on to the SOR within 3 days. It all started then; my husband was visited by his offender manager who forced him to tell our niece as she has children. In turn his brother was told and since then neither have spoken to him. We were even told by SS in the beginning we didn’t have to as long as I was the supervising adult.
At Crown Court my husband received 8 months suspended for 18 mths; 120 hours of community service, 10 days rehabilitation activity requirement; 10 years SOR and 10 years SHPO.
With regards next steps as to what happened next …. As there was no one in the probation office on the day after Court (due to Covid) his barrister gave my husband a number to call. A week later my husband; as advised contacted the probation office; as he hadn’t heard to find out if he had been allocated a probation officer. The next day his offender manager and a colleague turned up to check his devices that he had had returned via the Investigating Officer the week before. On the same day his probation officer rang and requested a face to face interview the next day. I think the Probation Officer has to see them within a certain time frame after the Court case.
The next day I contacted SS to reopen the case; which was closed in the June to start the ball rolling again for an assessment to be undertaken requesting my husband be allowed to return home. We had to wait for a social worker to become available to take on the case and assessment. My husband had discussed my intention with his probation officer who in turn started the ball rolling on their side by emailing SS to discuss the matter.
Enjoy the rest of your evening; you will sleep easier tonight….
Our journey began in July 2019; my husband was arrested for possession of IIOC, through a porn addiction, no sharing or distribution, contact or communication offence charge. In June 2020 my husband was charged with high numbers in all three categories A. B and C, no second interview and Magistrates; a pre-sentence report was completed and Crown Court four weeks later in September.
After the Magistrates my husband signed on to the SOR within 3 days. It all started then; my husband was visited by his offender manager who forced him to tell our niece as she has children. In turn his brother was told and since then neither have spoken to him. We were even told by SS in the beginning we didn’t have to as long as I was the supervising adult.
At Crown Court my husband received 8 months suspended for 18 mths; 120 hours of community service, 10 days rehabilitation activity requirement; 10 years SOR and 10 years SHPO.
With regards next steps as to what happened next …. As there was no one in the probation office on the day after Court (due to Covid) his barrister gave my husband a number to call. A week later my husband; as advised contacted the probation office; as he hadn’t heard to find out if he had been allocated a probation officer. The next day his offender manager and a colleague turned up to check his devices that he had had returned via the Investigating Officer the week before. On the same day his probation officer rang and requested a face to face interview the next day. I think the Probation Officer has to see them within a certain time frame after the Court case.
The next day I contacted SS to reopen the case; which was closed in the June to start the ball rolling again for an assessment to be undertaken requesting my husband be allowed to return home. We had to wait for a social worker to become available to take on the case and assessment. My husband had discussed my intention with his probation officer who in turn started the ball rolling on their side by emailing SS to discuss the matter.
Enjoy the rest of your evening; you will sleep easier tonight….
Autumn gold I'm not sure about the shpo..there was a probation officer at court this morning and she has made him an application for Monday at 10.15..hes going to ring her tomorrow because although she's given him an appointment, she's not given him the address of where he should go( bit daft that I thought)
So thats on his 2 do list tomorrow before he goes back to work tomorrow night.
I have a CIN meeting via phone next Friday with SW and the lead DSL from my daughter's high school so in that respect school will be brought up 2 date with whats going on.
I'm waiting to hear from SW about the outcome of this assessment and whether he can come home..the judge seemed to sense that my husband was full of remorse and told him he could see that he'd made a stupid mistake and also the fact that he had no previous convictions reflected on the judge's decision..in fact the judge was actually on the verge of handing down to him an 8 month suspended sentence.
I'm hoping that all this will reflect on SS in allowing him home..we really did think he was going to jail.hes so sorry for putting me and our daughter through this and told her on the phone that he will never ever put her through anything as traumatic as this ever again..
Xx
So thats on his 2 do list tomorrow before he goes back to work tomorrow night.
I have a CIN meeting via phone next Friday with SW and the lead DSL from my daughter's high school so in that respect school will be brought up 2 date with whats going on.
I'm waiting to hear from SW about the outcome of this assessment and whether he can come home..the judge seemed to sense that my husband was full of remorse and told him he could see that he'd made a stupid mistake and also the fact that he had no previous convictions reflected on the judge's decision..in fact the judge was actually on the verge of handing down to him an 8 month suspended sentence.
I'm hoping that all this will reflect on SS in allowing him home..we really did think he was going to jail.hes so sorry for putting me and our daughter through this and told her on the phone that he will never ever put her through anything as traumatic as this ever again..
Xx
Based on today's outcome, and if hes had a shpo given ( that I'm unaware of) will it prevent SS from allowing him home? Xx
Every SHPO is specific to each person and has to be relevant to their offence. So, unlike the SOR no-one can predict what is in it. I know there are men with SHPOs who have been able to move back to the family homes. You can also apply to the court to have any of the SHPO conditions removed if you feel they are unreasonable.
In some cases probation and the police offender manager have helped families get through the SS red tape. Once on the register all the agencies work much closer together and can share information. Before conviction a lot less information is shared in case it impacts the case.
You have got through the worse part, now you can start to work on the future. It might be a long road, but it is achievable, and there have been a number of stories shared on here of families who have been able to rebuild their lives.
I would recommend at some point that you ask to speak to his assigned offender manager, you may find they actually come talk to you anyway, just to ensure for themselves that you are 100% aware of the situation. Speaking to them was something I found very useful to help understand all the implications and conditions of this new world.
In some cases probation and the police offender manager have helped families get through the SS red tape. Once on the register all the agencies work much closer together and can share information. Before conviction a lot less information is shared in case it impacts the case.
You have got through the worse part, now you can start to work on the future. It might be a long road, but it is achievable, and there have been a number of stories shared on here of families who have been able to rebuild their lives.
I would recommend at some point that you ask to speak to his assigned offender manager, you may find they actually come talk to you anyway, just to ensure for themselves that you are 100% aware of the situation. Speaking to them was something I found very useful to help understand all the implications and conditions of this new world.
Mj
Theres so much info to absorb and process..there was no mention yesterday of shpo but that doesn't mean there won't be one..hes an appointment Monday with probation so I assume he'll get more information then about everything..his head was swimming yesterday and it was alot to take in..
He was so sure he was getting sent to prison..the judge saw remorse and therefore handed the sentence that he did..no mention of any bail conditions.not really sure what happens now with each of the agencies getting in touch with each other and then SS getting in touch with me..
I have a CIN meeting next week via phone with SW and the lead DSL from my daughters high school and the assessment will be concluded then..well she's told us by the end of this month..so will hopefully know more by then
Xx
Theres so much info to absorb and process..there was no mention yesterday of shpo but that doesn't mean there won't be one..hes an appointment Monday with probation so I assume he'll get more information then about everything..his head was swimming yesterday and it was alot to take in..
He was so sure he was getting sent to prison..the judge saw remorse and therefore handed the sentence that he did..no mention of any bail conditions.not really sure what happens now with each of the agencies getting in touch with each other and then SS getting in touch with me..
I have a CIN meeting next week via phone with SW and the lead DSL from my daughters high school and the assessment will be concluded then..well she's told us by the end of this month..so will hopefully know more by then
Xx
Lee thanks
Ive contacted solicitor and asked if she could get in touch with my husband regarding any details of shpo if she's aware of them as from what you say she should be .
Ive contacted solicitor and asked if she could get in touch with my husband regarding any details of shpo if she's aware of them as from what you say she should be .
Even if SS say he can return home,could an shpo over ride a decision by SS? Or do they have to follow what's in it?
Not really sure of the next steps that's all xx
Not really sure of the next steps that's all xx
Don't know if I've already mentioned this but my husband was actually visited 2 days after his magistrates appearance by 2 gentlemen from the police ( could they have been to do with offender management?)
They went through quite a lot of things with him to do with SOR, like them turning up to check devices, only being allowed a phone that couldn't connect to the internet, if he was going to be away anywhere for more than 7 days he had to notify them, if allowed home he has to notify them that this is where he is and give new address.
xx
They went through quite a lot of things with him to do with SOR, like them turning up to check devices, only being allowed a phone that couldn't connect to the internet, if he was going to be away anywhere for more than 7 days he had to notify them, if allowed home he has to notify them that this is where he is and give new address.
xx
So solicitor has messaged me back and said she can't comment at the moment about the details of the SHPO but that hubby will get a copy of it
xx
xx
Hi Annie
The police that turned up and went through being on the SOR sound like the offender managers, or PPU. He would have been assigned a specific manager but they often do their visits in pairs here.
If he has been given an SHPO, SS cannot override a restriction in it. So for example, if his SHPO says no unsupervised contact with anyone under 16, SS can't say he can have unsupervised access to his child. If he breaks SHPO conditions then he can be sent to prison. However, SS can add whatever additional restrictions they feel appropriate.
If he was given an SHPO then he, his solicitor and the police offender managers should all have a copy of it. I'm pretty sure my husband actually had to sign his to acknowledge it before leaving the court, but that was pre covid. I would check with your husband on this, as he should know. It might have the SOR requirements also attached to it and so he might not necessarily realise that there's 2 documents.
The police that turned up and went through being on the SOR sound like the offender managers, or PPU. He would have been assigned a specific manager but they often do their visits in pairs here.
If he has been given an SHPO, SS cannot override a restriction in it. So for example, if his SHPO says no unsupervised contact with anyone under 16, SS can't say he can have unsupervised access to his child. If he breaks SHPO conditions then he can be sent to prison. However, SS can add whatever additional restrictions they feel appropriate.
If he was given an SHPO then he, his solicitor and the police offender managers should all have a copy of it. I'm pretty sure my husband actually had to sign his to acknowledge it before leaving the court, but that was pre covid. I would check with your husband on this, as he should know. It might have the SOR requirements also attached to it and so he might not necessarily realise that there's 2 documents.
Mj
hoping that given the sentence, shpo won't say he can't return home..hoping that he's down as either no risk or low risk and also hoping that the judge saying he could see he'd made a stupid mistake will go in favour of his shpo.
he wasn't given any paperwork yesterday given that he was told to wait for some paperwork but no one gave him any after waiting over an hour so god knows what's going on..it's all very confusing
x
hoping that given the sentence, shpo won't say he can't return home..hoping that he's down as either no risk or low risk and also hoping that the judge saying he could see he'd made a stupid mistake will go in favour of his shpo.
he wasn't given any paperwork yesterday given that he was told to wait for some paperwork but no one gave him any after waiting over an hour so god knows what's going on..it's all very confusing
x
Hoping that he can return home but at the very least if he's been given a shpo and it says no overnight stays then at the very least SS we're hoping SS will allow him to come to the house so we don't have to keep having contact in the community because it's really not ideal x
We always knew SS would be the biggest hurdle to get over and it's making me weary now..there's nothing more we can do in terms of proving our daughter will be safe , there's nothing more I can do to prove that I am able to keep her safe and protect her, so we're praying that yesterday's outcome will go in his favour with shpo and SS and both will see him as no risk or low risk..
just a waiting game now
x
just a waiting game now
x
I'm so pleased you're through the court case. I hope you get into some sort of normality again soon. There are some inspiring stores on here from families that do make it all work. xx
Tabs
We can deffo make it work because we are strong.we are strong as a couple and strong as a family..and either way , we'll come through it..as mentioned in earlier posts or post ( can't recall which sorry) the judge has seen fit to give him a 2nd chance so fingers crossed that will reflect in the shpo and with SS
Hope your well
Xx
We can deffo make it work because we are strong.we are strong as a couple and strong as a family..and either way , we'll come through it..as mentioned in earlier posts or post ( can't recall which sorry) the judge has seen fit to give him a 2nd chance so fingers crossed that will reflect in the shpo and with SS
Hope your well
Xx
Lee
As I've said before he was found with iioc on his phone after he was sent them via kik.deleted them, but police tech were still able to download the content.hes never denied how they got there.but at the end of the day, no one is actually bothered about how they got there or who put them there just that it was my husband's phone and they were on it even though they'd been deleted.he never kept them for a prolonged period of time, never requested them or distributed them and this has also come from solicitor.
Hes now paying the price and that will be with him forever.to go from not having a record to this for a moment of stupidity all because he couldn't sleep one night and wanted to know what the big deal was about kik because he'd heard people at work talking about it.
I will post again when I know more
Take care x
As I've said before he was found with iioc on his phone after he was sent them via kik.deleted them, but police tech were still able to download the content.hes never denied how they got there.but at the end of the day, no one is actually bothered about how they got there or who put them there just that it was my husband's phone and they were on it even though they'd been deleted.he never kept them for a prolonged period of time, never requested them or distributed them and this has also come from solicitor.
Hes now paying the price and that will be with him forever.to go from not having a record to this for a moment of stupidity all because he couldn't sleep one night and wanted to know what the big deal was about kik because he'd heard people at work talking about it.
I will post again when I know more
Take care x
Hey Annie,
just thought I'd let you know that my husband was deemed low risk by probation who did his pre sentencing assessment (despite being given a SHPO & 10 years on the SOR) He was allowed to come and live back at home (with no restrictions to his contact with our children) and live back at home a few months after the court case (after a SS assessment) His SHPO mostly related to internet restrictions. We had to push SS for the assessment though as they wanted to wait for several years until after his conviction was spent.
thinking of you xx
just thought I'd let you know that my husband was deemed low risk by probation who did his pre sentencing assessment (despite being given a SHPO & 10 years on the SOR) He was allowed to come and live back at home (with no restrictions to his contact with our children) and live back at home a few months after the court case (after a SS assessment) His SHPO mostly related to internet restrictions. We had to push SS for the assessment though as they wanted to wait for several years until after his conviction was spent.
thinking of you xx
Hi
Bellebee
Hope your well.
My husband was given a 3yr Community service order and 5yrs on the sor for being in possession of iioc.
Everything seems to have gone in his favour,judge said he'd give him a second chance and could see he'd made a stupid mistake and that he was remorseful so with that in mind ,we're hoping probation have taken that on board and will reflect in their report and also be in favour with SS decision..
Our assessment is due to be concluded end of this month and we will know the outcome of Everything by the end of the week hopefully ..all we can do is hope the sentence and report are enough to bring him home
Xx
Bellebee
Hope your well.
My husband was given a 3yr Community service order and 5yrs on the sor for being in possession of iioc.
Everything seems to have gone in his favour,judge said he'd give him a second chance and could see he'd made a stupid mistake and that he was remorseful so with that in mind ,we're hoping probation have taken that on board and will reflect in their report and also be in favour with SS decision..
Our assessment is due to be concluded end of this month and we will know the outcome of Everything by the end of the week hopefully ..all we can do is hope the sentence and report are enough to bring him home
Xx
So hubby went to his 1st probation meeting yesterday and it was more of an introductory session.They asked for a few details, went through things with him about what would happen if he didn't attend etc.He said it went well,and they told him that they were going to help get him back home and would be liaising with SS regarding this..
What does all that mean? Will SS listen to what probation have to say regarding them helping him get home? Will SS ignore what probation say or do they have to follow what they say ?
SW has completed assessment and is just waiting for her manager to approve it and until that's done she cant discuss it with me yet
Xx
What does all that mean? Will SS listen to what probation have to say regarding them helping him get home? Will SS ignore what probation say or do they have to follow what they say ?
SW has completed assessment and is just waiting for her manager to approve it and until that's done she cant discuss it with me yet
Xx
Hi Annie
I haven't posted on here for a while but I used to often. My hubby was arrested for iioc 9 months ago... Living apart as we have 2 boys. Hoping and preying for no custodial, no media and he can come home... The usual... So your message has gave me hope. Probation are the experts when it comes to managing risk so SS 'should' be led by them in theory. Good luck. Keep us posted xx
I haven't posted on here for a while but I used to often. My hubby was arrested for iioc 9 months ago... Living apart as we have 2 boys. Hoping and preying for no custodial, no media and he can come home... The usual... So your message has gave me hope. Probation are the experts when it comes to managing risk so SS 'should' be led by them in theory. Good luck. Keep us posted xx
Rainbow girl
Hes received his sentence, 3yrs community order and 5yr on SOR
Probation I thought wouldn't have been able to say they were going to get him home if it wasn't true..I was also under the impression that SS have to follow the advice of Probation.
I will keep updating and will be thinking of you xx
Hes received his sentence, 3yrs community order and 5yr on SOR
Probation I thought wouldn't have been able to say they were going to get him home if it wasn't true..I was also under the impression that SS have to follow the advice of Probation.
I will keep updating and will be thinking of you xx
Hi Annie
Well I'm no expert but from speaking to many others, it appears ss have their own assessment tools and criteria which can conflict with probation. However.. Its good he has their support and hopefully they can reassure and help ss to manage risk... In an ideal world they should all be working together to support the best interests of the family xx
Well I'm no expert but from speaking to many others, it appears ss have their own assessment tools and criteria which can conflict with probation. However.. Its good he has their support and hopefully they can reassure and help ss to manage risk... In an ideal world they should all be working together to support the best interests of the family xx
Rainbow girl
What even is an ideal world anymore??
Feels like a lifetime since anything was "normal"
All I can say right now is ,probation were upfront and said at the onset that they'd get him home and back into his own environment and from what I've been reading and heard, that's a positive and SS have to follow that
Xx
What even is an ideal world anymore??
Feels like a lifetime since anything was "normal"
All I can say right now is ,probation were upfront and said at the onset that they'd get him home and back into his own environment and from what I've been reading and heard, that's a positive and SS have to follow that
Xx