Family and Friends Forum

I feel really numb tonight. And yet also struck with pain and the deepest sadness for the life I feel like I've lost. Its been 6 months since the knock and even longer since I saw my Dad. I feel so different day to day and get always have a resounding feeling of sadness whatever I do and wherever I go. I feel often like this isn't happening to me but actually happening to someone in a film and maybe I'll wake up tomorrow and this won't have happened at all. And yet I know I'll wake up tomorrow and it will be the first thing I think of and the thought that will stay with me all throughout the day. I don't cry about it much I just feel numb. And I don't understand why he did this. We had everything as a family and we were so happy. And now we are left with shattered fragments of a previous life. And the longer time goes by I don't think it can be rebuilt.

I'm finding it harder and harder to cope with only 3 people that know what has happened. I feel like I carry this weight with me wherever I go and I'm in a private hell. I don't know if life will ever be okay again?

Thank you for reading this. I hope everyone is doing okay.

Thank you for the replies.

I honestly feel so riddled with anxiety I don't even know who to talk to or where to turn.

I don't know how we're ever going to move on with our lives.