Family and Friends Forum

Hi love, I'm also in the same dilemma. I'm worried about how much info I talk about to someone on the helpline. I imagine you are struggling a lot with all the stuff, info, emotions , the what ifs,basically the horrendous situation your in as I am too but it's so hard isn't it. I'm 100% supporting my husband and I we are getting through this together but that strain alone is very very hard on my physically and emotionally. I think I would say write everything you want to say. It sounds daft but I'd literally write an actually sentence you want to say to start the conversation. That's what I'm going to do as I too would really like to pour everything out to a supportive non judgemental person. I get a huge amount of support on here, I really do but I do think a proper support group ( before covid times!) would be such a support. I'd like to connect in real life with women going through this, real identities and face to face. I know that's very rare in this sort of support need, we all know on here there's very little support for partners of offenders. The isolation is unreal and I do feel like I'm having a double life. The pressure of not wanting people to find out is all consuming too and the pressures on partners from SS is horrific

Also if you want them to keep you on file remember to note the details provided. They won't ask too many details but it helps them narrow down so that if you ring more often they can bring up notes, rather than starting all over again.

From memory it is some thing like first name and general location you are from and something else to make you easier to identify.

When I rang I asked to be logged against my partner's record- but didn't realize he logged himself as from the area he had the knock....he had moved after the knock so I do t think my details were saved

Hey

I have called the helpline 3 times now. I spoke to a wonderful person called ruth. I didn't prepare for the chat I just waited for Somone to answer and let my words tumble out. It really helped and as the calm went on I was able to ask questions but even when I was quiet I got words of kindness and empathy. I was told we are the forgotten victims. But there is help for us , there is an understanding.



sending you strength x

I've spoken to the lovely Ruth before.

The helpline has been invaluable - plenty of tears and hysteria from me. Listening ear and comforting words, understanding from them. Its somewhere where I can say the whole story ( they usually keep a few notes so if you call multiple times they have an idea of who you are. There is no judgement - I always fear what friends may say, so have only told couple close friends what has happened.

I do believe those on the helpline have pretty much heard it all before and seam to be unshockable. They always say call as often as you need - and for me that need varies. Just so sad to be in the position that you have to find this support. But do use the helpline x

Please call them! I don't know how I would have got through this without them. There's no judgement what so ever and no time limit. I've called for well over an hour before!

I've just bitten the bullet and have called. I feel like a weight has been lifted as I had so much I needed to say - it was almost like a confessional. I've had to keep it all bottled up for so long and I desperately wanted to share with you all the full thing but have had reservations for fear of judgement. It really helped to speak to someone and see that there was no big reaction like I was expecting and it's made me feel like I can now share more here now. I desperately need this support so I've been so scared that it'll suddenly go away again.

Definitely give them a ring.

Hi Steli. Glad you have made the call. I hope it has reassured you that no one is judging you and we are all here to support you.