My dad has been charged.
Notifications OFF
hi everyone, not really sure what I'm doing at the moment. 2 years ago my dad was arrested for having indecent images of children on his computer, he was released on bail and the under investigation. My mum died 15 years ago, so it was just my sister, brother and me. (We're all adults with our own children).
My dad lives by himself and is really not the easiest person to be around. He has always been very self centred and it's always poor me poor me. Well when this happened my sister and brother cut all contact and I really wanted to do the same, but I just felt so guilty leaving him alone. I kept my children away but I just felt so obligated to check on him and see him, even though i knew I never wanted to see him again.
Over the 2 years his story has changed from yes I did but I thought they were 18 to I didn't do it I swear. He's never fully taken responsibility for what he's done or the impact its had on us.
Well out of the blue Thursday he messages me whilst I'm at work and tells me he's being charged with 3 counts or making indecent images of children. To have to be at work for the rest of the day was so hard and made me angry that he couldn't have waited.
I just don't know what to do for the best. I want to never speak to him again but the guilt just gets to me and makes me so angry. Why do I feel guilty, its his fault he did this. Then there's so many questions, what if people find out. What about my children. What if he goes to prison.
I can feel myself spiralling and I don't know what to do.
So sorry for the long post. Its just I've nowhere to be honest.
My dad lives by himself and is really not the easiest person to be around. He has always been very self centred and it's always poor me poor me. Well when this happened my sister and brother cut all contact and I really wanted to do the same, but I just felt so guilty leaving him alone. I kept my children away but I just felt so obligated to check on him and see him, even though i knew I never wanted to see him again.
Over the 2 years his story has changed from yes I did but I thought they were 18 to I didn't do it I swear. He's never fully taken responsibility for what he's done or the impact its had on us.
Well out of the blue Thursday he messages me whilst I'm at work and tells me he's being charged with 3 counts or making indecent images of children. To have to be at work for the rest of the day was so hard and made me angry that he couldn't have waited.
I just don't know what to do for the best. I want to never speak to him again but the guilt just gets to me and makes me so angry. Why do I feel guilty, its his fault he did this. Then there's so many questions, what if people find out. What about my children. What if he goes to prison.
I can feel myself spiralling and I don't know what to do.
So sorry for the long post. Its just I've nowhere to be honest.
Hi ducky.
This forum is a great resource to learn about to maybe expect and get support. The help line is also great, it may take a while to get through. It worth the wait.
Just in case you were not aware of the charging wording the meaning of making is essential he made a copy of an existing iioc. Such as downloading.
It is hard to say what to expect as a sentencong outcome. First he will have a plea hearing. If he pleads guilty to all charges a follow up sentencing will follow a few weeks later.
If he pleads not guilty then a jury will need to be selected.
At sentencing they factor a number of things, including whether the offender has taken actions to rehabilitate themselves. But essentially it is down to the judge on the day on what the sentencing will be.
With regards to your children it is possible he will be given a sexual harm prevention order, which sets restrictions on his internet use and interaction with children. Best to ask through his probation officer when he is assigned one regarding your concerns.
Big hugs!
This forum is a great resource to learn about to maybe expect and get support. The help line is also great, it may take a while to get through. It worth the wait.
Just in case you were not aware of the charging wording the meaning of making is essential he made a copy of an existing iioc. Such as downloading.
It is hard to say what to expect as a sentencong outcome. First he will have a plea hearing. If he pleads guilty to all charges a follow up sentencing will follow a few weeks later.
If he pleads not guilty then a jury will need to be selected.
At sentencing they factor a number of things, including whether the offender has taken actions to rehabilitate themselves. But essentially it is down to the judge on the day on what the sentencing will be.
With regards to your children it is possible he will be given a sexual harm prevention order, which sets restrictions on his internet use and interaction with children. Best to ask through his probation officer when he is assigned one regarding your concerns.
Big hugs!