Family and Friends Forum

Dory2021

Member since
February 2021

3 posts

Posted Sun February 28, 2021 9:52amReport post

This week they took my husband away under arrest for possessing and distributing images of children and a second charge to do with animals. There was chat involved that sounded like I was involved too. (Of course I wasnt)

He is now on bail at our home and I'm looking after our toddler elsewhere. He is under MH team but apparently wasnt bad enough to section him even though he tried to kill himself.

I've been home to see him twice. Clean up, pt food in the fridge, give him lists of things to do so I know he is in a fit state to communicate with our child on facetime. I care for him so much because I cant believe all of him is responsible and he has been trapped in a dark place and taken the wrong path and needs help and treatment. My child needs a father but not like this. My child needs protecting and that's my job.

My child is under a "section 47" which I sort of understand. I have so many meetings to remember and my brain is mush. All my stuff was confiscated too and I just got it back. I feel dirty and ashamed and scared and like somehow I've let people down?!?!

What do I say to my baby when he finally asks for his daddy? What do I do.

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Mon March 1, 2021 5:07pmReport post

Hi dory



So sorry to hear about your partner's arrest. You have taken the brave step to reach out here and this forum is great. I recommend reading through some posts and contact the Lucy faithful helpline.

There is the inform course that you may wish to sign up to at some point to learn about this type of offending- knowledge is power.

My partner was sentenced for iioc and animal images in 2017. He used porn as an escape and would chat to people pretending to be a teen to get attention etc. He also did the inform course and sex addiction anonymous to help rehabilite.

I haven't dealt with SS but the family section of the forum might help get an understanding of what to maybe expect. SS I hope can provide advice on how to address the situation to your child.

Big hugs

Sarah ??

Member since
January 2021

177 posts

Posted Mon March 1, 2021 6:49pmReport post

Hello,

I remember those dark, early days too well. They do improve. We're still awaiting charges a year in however, with support from the Lucy Faithful helpine and a good gp things have stabilised for now.

Encourage him to contact the helpline and be proactive in seeking support for his mental health.

I found the section 47 and child protection conference challenging. My advice is to make notes about everything and ask questions! Make sure you understand exactly what it is they expect from you and what support is on offer?!

There are lots of people on here who are at every stage of the process, you'll always find an honest, supportive answer.

xXx

Dory2021

Member since
February 2021

3 posts

Posted Mon March 8, 2021 11:08amReport post

Thankyou.

I'm starting to journal things to get it clear in my head. I'm now starting to see I've been a victim of manipulation and emotional abuse for a long time.

Steli

Member since
February 2021

70 posts

Posted Mon March 8, 2021 12:06pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun April 18, 2021 11:08pm

Yellowhouse

Member since
December 2020

129 posts

Posted Mon March 8, 2021 1:52pmReport post

Steli, I read another post by you and I cried. You are SO brave and SO strong. Truly incredible.

I agree that we can't always see when we are being manipulated-if we could, we wouldn't allow it to happen. I'm still trying to figure out if/how I was manipulated. It's all so difficult to pick apart.

Sending love to you OP, and hope you are beginning to figure things out. I'm 4-5 months in and confused as hell. It's so difficult and so traumatic.

Xx