Family and Friends Forum

I really don't understand how they get away with it surely they are just as bad as the person they are talking to or sending photos to?! And as for showing up to ur home and telling ur children what is going on I would of gone mental and ended up hurting them. Evening the police have more respect for children in the home

That's so disappointing Lanny. At least your MP did something, mine just referred me to Victim Support, as he clearly didn't read my letter and read what I wanted to do which was, as you, make change it for future families....well done for trying!

It is unbelievable isn't it, that Police 'say' they don't support these groups. that they only 'catch' the low hanging fruit, thereby redirecting police resources away from the job of tracking down the people who are now actually doing real physical harm to children, who are well hidden. Yet the vigilantes are able to run around unchecked. Very rarely are they charged with the offences they commit whilst undergoing the stings.
These men are easy pickings. The families who lose everything in the process are not protected in any way. Yet we did nothing wrong!!!
How can we join forces and make a case to the courts....and with any others that after arrest are damaged by vigilante activity....hate speech is supposedly banned. Surely we must be able to do something?!! As you say Lee1969, it needs a large number of people. I'm in!! Xxx

This makes so so cross and sad! My dad wasnt caught by vigilantes, but I thank my lucky stars everyday that it was just the police (I mean I'd have preferred none at all, but beggars can't be choosers ay?) but how can people's mental well-being be so shrugged off as it is being?!

anything that can be done to fight against them please let me know! Letters, groups, anything! I want to be able to make a difference to families going through this, I want there to be more support, less media coverage and a lot more understanding of why this happens!

Lanny, are you able to share the action you are taking? I'd love to do something against them. They have completely destroyed my life, and I did nothing. Ok, they catch people, but there is no reason to livestream and communicate all over social media....that doesn't damage the men as much as their families, extended families and friends. They dish out the worst punishment to everyone, way ahead of the justice system. The men are generally long gone in order to protect themselves and their families. That is just not right! x

We need a lawyer who is prepared to make a case for us families against the various groups. We are innocent in this! Where to start?! Then the vigilantes can feel a tiny part of how we feel, when it hits them in the pocket and impacts on their families....Hmmmm, thinking heads on! Xx

I really hate vigilantes, especially the ones who take it upon themselves to name and shame BEFORE a judge has passed their verdict.

At least with police they try to be as discrete as possible during arrests but still ofc traumatic to families and children. I know there are some police forces training volunteers and then arrests are still done by the police.

Ideally I think there should be more money out to training those who want to help so that they can feed the info to the police, and make it illegal to live stream and post about possible offenders before trial.

Surely if an offender goes to jury it woutbe hard to have an impartial jury if the sting was all over social media before the trial. There have been cases dropped because of vigilante involvement. Hence why they need to be trained and in line with the law.

I've been looking at this page and all the comments for just over a year now, I haven't felt the need to share my story but this post made me register to reply, my husband now ex husband was court back in February 2020 by a live sting, this was humiliating for myself and my children I have two older teens and a young girl the teens I had to remove off social media straight away, it was awful to find out along side friends, family and random strangers, he was named and my home address was disclosed, we where not safe guarded at all they where just out for likes and the glory,I was contacted by so many people I ended up having to put a statement of my own my personal profile asking for my details not to be disclosed for my children's sake, I've spend the last year rebuilding our life's but the damage from that evening never goes away and that's the thing I have found one of the hardest to deal with, my ex husband has never had to deal with the rath of the sting as he went into hiding and came off the media apps, my teens did suffer terrible as other school children/parents had seen and rumours spread like wildfire, my daughter regressed as one minute her dad was in her life the next he wasn't and everyone knew why and acted strange around us, people took pity upon me but it wasn't pity I wanted it was understanding they immediately believed every word the vidgulanties had said,well shouted so no matter what the police outcome would be he was guilty of all that was said before being charged. The sting continues to be re shared even though he hasn't been charged/court yet he's still under investigation, we where together 20 years and in just one evening that all came to an end,we had our issues and our married was struggling but where working threw them but this was just too much for me to continue it, I'm now a single mum learning to spend time on my own but I still have to speak to him although as ss aloud supervised contact which I supervise by myself he's now a stranger but still a dad to my children something I cannot take away unless the police investigation gives me reason, he hasn't been back to the family home and I do not think he ever will again. These groups are a nightmare to the family's involved not the accused as it's us that are left to pick up the pieces in life and gain our privacy back distroyed by there live stings

Woody reading your post made me so sad for you love. What an horrendous time for you. I haven't been affected by a sting personally but I HATE vigilante groups with a passion. Even before my life was turned upside down by my husbands arrest I knew all about these disgusting groups. They have an agenda to get as many likes and publicity and they whip the public up in to a frenzy. I really believe they should be banned. They put families in real danger with their actions and there should be a lot more support for the families of those they sting. I always report them if I come across them on Facebook, I mean it doesn't do a fat lot because in my opinion social media should be held accountable to let such groups on there in the first place. It should be tackled at source and that's a massive task. I'm sure there's rules about hate speech? Or inticing violence? And these groups do that surely

I agree with everything that has been said!

I thankfully wasn't involved in a public sting but quite often watch them on social media. It makes my blood boil!!

Firstly it's innocent until proven guilty and secondly they don't think of their (the accused) families.

I hate the UK database page on Facebook. The people that comment on there live such blinded lives. It's all " they should be hung" "castrate them" " they need custodial sentences" "the judge is in on it with them". You know, don't worry about the person's family and friends reading these comments.

Even my own brother in law outed my husband on Facebook, we had to go to the police and they had to give him a warning for malicious communication!

I will quite happily support any of the ladies in this forum to help stop these groups!

Xx

Thanks all, I have very much educated myself on how these groups work, I agree that the comments made on these posts are pure hate and really detrimental to our children's mental health, it's not me that has to live with what he did I can heal and move forward but my children do and wishing him dead or castrated is the last thing I want them to read about there dad, he was a good dad until he took a wrong turn in life and I always try to remember that, truth is my children will never see there dad as the same man they thought he was due to how it all came out threw the sting, my one teen has special needs and will be 18 at the end of the year he has love for his dad but doesn't know how to express it anymore so instead he's become more protective over his sister who is only 8, my other teen is a typical 15 year old and has decided he's better off with no contact and doesn't talk about his dad at all, I respect this but for my 8 year old having him removed from her life in such a drastic way has hurt her, without the live sting I would have been able to do things in a way that supported her at a time frame that was right for her, the sting made it happen over night with police and ss all turning up within 24hours, only thing that helped was the lockdowns ( strange to say that a pandemic was a blessing) we all got to rebond as a new family of 4 away from the public and family, I feel strong as a mother and woman in a way I never have done and this has helped threw the dark days, I know things will be dredged up when his case finally gets completed and hopefully my strength will continue threw out, I'm happy to help anyone whom has been affected and victimised by these groups and hope one day there's a fight to remove them and there wrong doings from society xx

Today, I've read an article created by North Yorkshire Police essentially disassociating themselves from these stings/groups. It was quite refreshing to see their attitude. They spoke about the affect of the stings on the accuseds mental health - discussing the link between these offences and suicide attempts.

I can't find the original link but will keep looking!

Found it on their website.

https://northyorkshire.police.uk/news/online-child-abuse-activist-groups-urged-to-leave-investigation-to-the-police/

Sarah, just read that article myself, really good actually and it was good that the stop it now website was also mentioned at the end

From what I've seen this is a new article as it was created on the 26th February. I've not been affected by this kind of operation so I don't have the extreme emotions that go with it. I hope to see a change in the future and hopefully this police force can be a leading force in the way it deals with these offences/stings.

That article is interesting. My husband only had the vigilante conversation and arranged to meet the decoy/13 year old. It was live streamed.
It seems the conversation was pushed by the decoy, but he went along with it, which is wrong. There were no other illegal conversations or any IIOC. He was charged as there is no denying the person raise they were 13. There have been no charges against the vigilantes, and the video clearly shows the rapport between the vigilantes and the police. They were very pally, and one of the vigilantes was being very sexually inappropriate about the police woman!!!