Family and Friends Forum

After the court case I reopened our case with SS; as it had been closed, to help my husband get home. We then had to undertake another risk assessement. One of the criteria for my husband's SHOPO brought about by the pre-sentence report; was that he was to have no unsupervised contact with females under 16. We have a teenage son.

Our risk assessment included the SW contacting the probation officer to discuss my husband and the pre-sentence report and their findings. It also looked at the age of my son; his knowledge of the offence; the work he had undertaken with SS to keep himself safe and get the manager's sign off before it was agreed that my husband could come back home. This took about 7 weeks.

My husband was allowed back home; I do not have to supervise contact with my son.

In my experience probation will help dependent on the presentence report; however from a SS stance it also depends on what work has been done with the family to allow this to happen.

Annie 1964 have u had a look at the stopso form room hun and the website I found out a lot of help from them,, hope u get what u want from this xx

Annie, just out of interest ( I am only 8 weeks in, not even heard back from SW yet) when you say get your husband home?. What if home is the only place he can go?. Does that make sense?. My husband is currently at home, it's a very strange limbo to the outside world ( apart from the betrayal of my MIL!) no one else knows. We are following the bail conditions of course. But of this drags on for my husband like in a lot of peoples situations my son could be 17 ( he's 16 now) my daughter was 18 last year. My husband couldn't live anywhere else so what do SS expect you to do?, I mean we ain't gonna go into financial ruin potentially having my own children loose their home! How would that be protective bringing that much stress on them!?. I've had my initial assessment, last time I spoke to her it was two weeks ago ( they aren't very urgent are they!) she said she's still waiting for info off the oic. My husband hasn't be charged yet and his next bail is in April. I just don't get why the SS don't update you?. I also don't know how they can make judgements based on one visit to my home and a chat with my son who's responses were typical teenage boy!!. She said she'd likely close our case but my god they don't half drag their heels about it!. Sounds like to me Annie your husband will be home soon. Bet you can't blimmin wait and are finding it so frustrating!! Reading all your posts you've literally done EVERYTHING!

Annie, yeah just google stopso. I'm gonna join the forum on there too. Do we use the same name as on here?

Annie, like autum gold I had to push for an assessment from SS for my husband to return home. They had closed our case and didn't want to reopen it. My husbands probabtion officer was instrumental in helping him return home so it's good to have their support too.

Annie yes put it in Google hun xx there many from here over their to xx

Yeah Annie I think that's what you do love, send them an email and I'm sure I read it's a closed forum. I'll look later too xx

Hi Annie

Closed form means more private and u can messages people individual thro private email,, I have found it very helpfull with questions about sw and easier to keep track of individual messages xx

I get all that Annie

We are fighting two side at this moment probation and sw they are all saying my partner is on SOR AND SHPO I have rang everyone the court, solicitor, dc in charged and all saying there is no mention of any of these orders. Then sw and probation have got him down for release for mid June and its not till July I have asked where they have got this from and the answer is the court and I was like nope cause that's not what they are telling me so now asked the solicitor to step in and see if he can find anything out,, my partner has had a letter saying case closed and no through action to be taken, on the transcript has at the end says CPS say no requirement to sign any register,, just want the nightmare over xxx and to be able to move on I get Ann what ur saying my daughter is 4 and cries at night to the point of falling a sleep because she just wants to talk to her dad my son is 13 with additional needs. His self harm has gone through the roof because he just wants his dad,, he not a bad man just done something bad and I and him want him to get the help so he can still be a part of our life's xxxx

Yea I think that to,, then all u hear is I need to speak to my manager or that not the information I have. Where did you get that from,, what I have been told is the truth and that's the end of it kind of thing like u should not question it or how dare question what I am tell u kind of thing,, then they wounder why people have negative opinions about sw. Then to ask in the report she only thinks I am working with them because it's the right thing to do it's so tring all the time xx

Wow what a incredible girl u have,, so wise and why should they not have their parents in their life as long as it can be done safely and why should our partner not be given that opportunity to show they can change if that's what they want. U can't make someone change they can only change if they want to,, and to protect them and others support to move on is what they need if that makes sense. Support from muilt agencies and family if that's possible. Like many have said this should not define someone,, hope u get all u want from this Anne for urself and ur family xx x keep us updated xxx

Bless u Anne

I am rewriting all mine for when she next comes just trying to get hold of the transcript from the court so I can show these orders she keeps going on about are not on their,, then just sorting it all out x

I am glad sw see u as a safe person xx

Yes they can and I think we try all we can to show we want to help and I am strong believer of rehabilitation and family support plays a very big part if the individual wants to change x

I wish u all the best hun x