22 months of waiting and sentenced today.
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Thought I would put an update on even though I have been a bit distant for a while. The people that have been on here for a while may remember my story. Anyway it's taken 22 months to get to today, sentencing day.
My husband got 20 months suspended for 2 years a 40 week course and 10 years on the SOR and SHPO.
Just so glad that's over and now to move on with our new norm.
Massive thank you to all on here who have supported me and to LFF for having the forum. Without this I would have been lost and now have close friends who I never have to pretend around.
Just hoping it's not been reported on and then 99% of the anxiety will have been lifted.
Strength to those still going through limbo and sending love to all. Xxx
My husband got 20 months suspended for 2 years a 40 week course and 10 years on the SOR and SHPO.
Just so glad that's over and now to move on with our new norm.
Massive thank you to all on here who have supported me and to LFF for having the forum. Without this I would have been lost and now have close friends who I never have to pretend around.
Just hoping it's not been reported on and then 99% of the anxiety will have been lifted.
Strength to those still going through limbo and sending love to all. Xxx
I'm pleased you can now move forward, please can I ask. What was the offence, the charges?
Crikey Dottie that's such a long wait. I really hope the media leave you alone love. I bet you feel a sense of relief though?! I mean incredibily horrible for you though waiting so long. I'm about 8 weeks in, life is very much limbo and there's been lots of tears, anxiety, more tears and CBT therapy for me. I feel like I'm in the eye of the storm right now!. I'm supporting my husband and we are getting through a lot of stuff together, so many tearful talks, the stress is overwhelming but we've had good normal days too ( which feels werid!). I'm back at work now, thankfull I had parental leave then furlough which was a blessing in disguise. I hope everything goes ok for you and I'm so glad you came out the other side, are you and your husband together still xx
Hey hunny, we spoke in the past. I am so glad he got a suspended. Fingers, toes and everything crossed for no media!!!
Today must have been tough... The day we all dread but we are waiting for.
We are over 9 months in and still no charges.
Its crazy how long it all takes... At least now you can start to move on with your lives etc.
Take care, look after yourselves tonight xxx
Today must have been tough... The day we all dread but we are waiting for.
We are over 9 months in and still no charges.
Its crazy how long it all takes... At least now you can start to move on with your lives etc.
Take care, look after yourselves tonight xxx
Dottie I'm glad you've finally got to 'the end as such, I hope and pray for you the media do leave you alone - this is by biggest worry about my dad's case
Keep well xx
Keep well xx
Dottie so pleased to hear finally this chapter of the story has come for you. Ow to rebuild your life in whatever shape that may be start living the new normal.
I'm guessing the ball will start rolling with probation etc
do you mind me asking what kind of things are in his shpo as I've heard they can vary.
you are amazing lovley lady comming this far I have everything crossed for you this goes under the media radar but if it doesn't you will get through it just like you have the last 22 months
sending huge hugs xx
I'm guessing the ball will start rolling with probation etc
do you mind me asking what kind of things are in his shpo as I've heard they can vary.
you are amazing lovley lady comming this far I have everything crossed for you this goes under the media radar but if it doesn't you will get through it just like you have the last 22 months
sending huge hugs xx
Dottie your journey is almost over after what must seem like a lifetime.
My journey is almost over 2 after almost 2yrs..hubby received a 3yr community order and 5yrs on the register last week..now awaiting the outcome.of SS assessment to see if he can come home..hoping that SS will say he can especially as probation have said he'll be home and they're going to get him home xx
My journey is almost over 2 after almost 2yrs..hubby received a 3yr community order and 5yrs on the register last week..now awaiting the outcome.of SS assessment to see if he can come home..hoping that SS will say he can especially as probation have said he'll be home and they're going to get him home xx
T2021
The charges were possession, making (downloading) and distribution of iioc across all 3 catagories. The majority were cat c but there were a couple of B's and 3 A's.
The charges were possession, making (downloading) and distribution of iioc across all 3 catagories. The majority were cat c but there were a couple of B's and 3 A's.
Louise49
i am afraid my story of the wait for conclusion is not unusual. Many on here have waited around the 2 yr mark. Covid didn't help as what we were told would be no more than 6 weeks with cps turned out to be over 6 months and then after plea hearing he was given a date that was then adjourned for another month. All very stressful as you get geared up for each step.
You will find that during the investigation because it takes so long limbo becomes normal and you relax into it. As long as your partner is being honest and is working hard to address his behaviour and is remorseful then you have a good chance of working through the mess and coming out the other side stronger. Xxx
i am afraid my story of the wait for conclusion is not unusual. Many on here have waited around the 2 yr mark. Covid didn't help as what we were told would be no more than 6 weeks with cps turned out to be over 6 months and then after plea hearing he was given a date that was then adjourned for another month. All very stressful as you get geared up for each step.
You will find that during the investigation because it takes so long limbo becomes normal and you relax into it. As long as your partner is being honest and is working hard to address his behaviour and is remorseful then you have a good chance of working through the mess and coming out the other side stronger. Xxx
Rainbowgirl80
Thank you. The day was a little weird really. The first date my husband got for sentencing we both were in a terrible state in the lead up, then it was cancelled for another month. During this time we spoke to the barrister and he was very confident of a suspended sentence due to the amount of work we had both put in. I did the lff course as well as my husband and I also did a reference letter and put many things in place to safeguard him into the future. We were also having counselling together as well as his individual therapy with the same stopso therapist. The judge, barrister and solicitor said that my input made all the difference to the outcome of the sentencing. When the actual day of sentencing came I was remarkably calm or was it numb I'm not sure but it was like it wasn't happening.
Now for the hard bit, to try and mend the cracks that were formed in our marriage and for him to stay porn free. Xxx
Thank you. The day was a little weird really. The first date my husband got for sentencing we both were in a terrible state in the lead up, then it was cancelled for another month. During this time we spoke to the barrister and he was very confident of a suspended sentence due to the amount of work we had both put in. I did the lff course as well as my husband and I also did a reference letter and put many things in place to safeguard him into the future. We were also having counselling together as well as his individual therapy with the same stopso therapist. The judge, barrister and solicitor said that my input made all the difference to the outcome of the sentencing. When the actual day of sentencing came I was remarkably calm or was it numb I'm not sure but it was like it wasn't happening.
Now for the hard bit, to try and mend the cracks that were formed in our marriage and for him to stay porn free. Xxx
BS
Thank you lovely. Nothing yet on the media front but even a month later it can rear its ugly head but I'm hoping it will all be ok. Xxx
Thank you lovely. Nothing yet on the media front but even a month later it can rear its ugly head but I'm hoping it will all be ok. Xxx
Summer,
The usual things in the shpo about having monitoring software and not deleting history, notifying of any new devices, no peer to peer sharing, cloud storage that sort of thing. It's all relating to devices and internet. Xxx
The usual things in the shpo about having monitoring software and not deleting history, notifying of any new devices, no peer to peer sharing, cloud storage that sort of thing. It's all relating to devices and internet. Xxx
Annie1969,
so pleased you are nearly through the nightmare. I'm sure you will have him home soon. I know others who have worked through it and have successfully reunited as families. It will happen my lovely, keep the faith. Xxx
so pleased you are nearly through the nightmare. I'm sure you will have him home soon. I know others who have worked through it and have successfully reunited as families. It will happen my lovely, keep the faith. Xxx
Hi Dottie, I'm so pleased you're through the court stage. That must be a relief. I do hope that you get no media attention and can now move on with your lives. You were one of the first to answer my first post, so I remember you well! That meant so much to me, to know that I wasn't alone! xx
Dottie I'm so glad you reached this point after a long wait. I'm about 2.5 months in. My husband hasn't been charged yet but is under investigation for possession. What measures do you put in place that you mention?
I hope you've escaped media attention and can focus on the next part of your life now x
I hope you've escaped media attention and can focus on the next part of your life now x
Tabs,
So glad I was there at the start for you. I have read much of what you have put on the forum and you are an amazingly strong lady who always makes so much sense in your posts. Keep up your wise words, so many of us appreciate them. Xxxx
So glad I was there at the start for you. I have read much of what you have put on the forum and you are an amazingly strong lady who always makes so much sense in your posts. Keep up your wise words, so many of us appreciate them. Xxxx
Saphire,
My husband did the lff inform plus course and I did the lff inform course for partners. My husband has also had weekly therapy from a stopso therapist for nearly 2 years now and we also have done sessions together with the same therapist. On top of that I did a reference letter as did my adult children, in that letter I stated what work we had done. The therapy, courses and the fact we worked through the stopso modules together, the monitoring app I placed on his phone. The fact I have all pins for phone and assess to check his bank account and a safety plan to keep him safe into the future. All evidence of these measures where given to the barrister to be put in front of the judge. It made a big difference.
I would say if ladies are wanting to stay with their partners that first their partner has to be honest and open throughout. Then support them in as many ways as possible in order to get the best outcome. It's a long road and one I feel will never be fully over as an addiction is always lurking in the background waiting for you to put your guards down.
Wish you luck my lovely, it's early days for you but the best bit of advice given was to not make any rash decisions. Take your time. I still go by the words " I'm staying for now " because who knows what will happen in the future, but for now we are rebuilding or relationship we once had. Xxx
My husband did the lff inform plus course and I did the lff inform course for partners. My husband has also had weekly therapy from a stopso therapist for nearly 2 years now and we also have done sessions together with the same therapist. On top of that I did a reference letter as did my adult children, in that letter I stated what work we had done. The therapy, courses and the fact we worked through the stopso modules together, the monitoring app I placed on his phone. The fact I have all pins for phone and assess to check his bank account and a safety plan to keep him safe into the future. All evidence of these measures where given to the barrister to be put in front of the judge. It made a big difference.
I would say if ladies are wanting to stay with their partners that first their partner has to be honest and open throughout. Then support them in as many ways as possible in order to get the best outcome. It's a long road and one I feel will never be fully over as an addiction is always lurking in the background waiting for you to put your guards down.
Wish you luck my lovely, it's early days for you but the best bit of advice given was to not make any rash decisions. Take your time. I still go by the words " I'm staying for now " because who knows what will happen in the future, but for now we are rebuilding or relationship we once had. Xxx