Stress
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the offence is so stressful I am really struggling to get through a day. I have come down with a chest infection. I scratched my car driving into a wall! And my ex husband who was off sick had just got the confidence to finally tell work about the offence after the knock. Has been told he has been suspended pending investigation.
its stressful as although we are not together I do want him to survive this for my daughters sake. He is completely broken at the moment.
he has psychiatric support services ongoing but it’s such a mess.
i am still off work myself. I think I am going to have to ask for my sick note extended. As just won’t be able to focus on anything other than getting through the day. My mum is so supportive of my daughter which helps.
Will l survive this. It’s not only financially i a worried about but pratically too. With juggling child care, work once I return and paying my bills.
men really loose everything from their stupid actions. I am so sad about this!
its stressful as although we are not together I do want him to survive this for my daughters sake. He is completely broken at the moment.
he has psychiatric support services ongoing but it’s such a mess.
i am still off work myself. I think I am going to have to ask for my sick note extended. As just won’t be able to focus on anything other than getting through the day. My mum is so supportive of my daughter which helps.
Will l survive this. It’s not only financially i a worried about but pratically too. With juggling child care, work once I return and paying my bills.
men really loose everything from their stupid actions. I am so sad about this!
Beth Lou, I’m so sorry to hear this. You’re right, the devastation and destruction left behind is catastrophic. I can’t give you reassurance that this will work out in the way you all hoped, employers (even when not working with children) are completely fixed on their own reputations, regardless of individuals feelings. However they should offer your ex partner some support when suspended. I know he’s admitted to doing stuff on the Internet he shouldn’t but he deserves a bit of humanity, two wrongs don’t make a right. If he doesn’t work with vulnerable people I suspect his employers will say he should have informed them of the arrest sooner. He will be seen to be in the wrong whatever.
What I can hope for you and your ex partner is that you will and can survive the lowest , horrible feelings ever. Focus on the longer game, where will you be say in 2 years, 3 years, 5, 10? Wave after wave hit us, it took a very long time, stuff still raises its ugly head but we survived and continue to move forward. Suicide crossed my mind but I knew the utter devastation it leaves behind. Tell him that, it’s when people feel everyone else would be better off without them around is when they are very ulnerable.
Keep going!
What I can hope for you and your ex partner is that you will and can survive the lowest , horrible feelings ever. Focus on the longer game, where will you be say in 2 years, 3 years, 5, 10? Wave after wave hit us, it took a very long time, stuff still raises its ugly head but we survived and continue to move forward. Suicide crossed my mind but I knew the utter devastation it leaves behind. Tell him that, it’s when people feel everyone else would be better off without them around is when they are very ulnerable.
Keep going!
Thanks jaded. Your so right it is devastion after devastation, I think your right playing the long game. I can see a way through this but he is so vulnerable Suicide would devastate us.
the offence is so socially stigmatising and rightly so. It’s the punishment that’s seems like it wrecks lives. For us all.
i am so angry for what he did but towards him I just feel an intense sadness that he decided to destroy his life in this way .
love to you all xxx
the offence is so socially stigmatising and rightly so. It’s the punishment that’s seems like it wrecks lives. For us all.
i am so angry for what he did but towards him I just feel an intense sadness that he decided to destroy his life in this way .
love to you all xxx
Thanks poster. You are so right. I need to keep hold of that , what will be will be.
I am seeking counselling now too so do need to put my well-being first. It is his mess. I feel for him but your very wise to say that bit is up to him.
i am sure I will get there xx
I am seeking counselling now too so do need to put my well-being first. It is his mess. I feel for him but your very wise to say that bit is up to him.
i am sure I will get there xx
Hi Bethlou23
It's such a mess isn't it and your life, in my opinion, will never be quite the same however, that doesn't mean it won't be good again some day. We're right to think about the long haul because we all know whatever happens we won't be feeling like this in 5 or 10 years time.
Suicide is such an awful thing to come to terms with and as harsh as it sounds, it's a choice, the same as looking at the rubbish they have. Yes, it would devastated you and your daughter would grow up without her dad but you know you'd cope!
On Monday everything got on top of me, a friend, with all best intentions sent me a video of a man being caught and filmed by a vigilante group, she asked if I knew the guy they'd caught and for some reason that was my straw that broke the camel's back, I just say on my bed and thought I actually don't want to be here any more, I can't cope or manage it any longer, my lowest moment but I rang my son and chatted with him for about 30 mins, took a sedative I'd got from the GP and I'm still here and don't feel that way now (I didn't tell my son that's how I felt)
You are doing so well, you just need to try and concentrate on you, you can't help what your husband will or won't do but you can keep your mental health as stable as possible
Thinking of you and hope you're going to have a good weekend
Lots of love xx
It's such a mess isn't it and your life, in my opinion, will never be quite the same however, that doesn't mean it won't be good again some day. We're right to think about the long haul because we all know whatever happens we won't be feeling like this in 5 or 10 years time.
Suicide is such an awful thing to come to terms with and as harsh as it sounds, it's a choice, the same as looking at the rubbish they have. Yes, it would devastated you and your daughter would grow up without her dad but you know you'd cope!
On Monday everything got on top of me, a friend, with all best intentions sent me a video of a man being caught and filmed by a vigilante group, she asked if I knew the guy they'd caught and for some reason that was my straw that broke the camel's back, I just say on my bed and thought I actually don't want to be here any more, I can't cope or manage it any longer, my lowest moment but I rang my son and chatted with him for about 30 mins, took a sedative I'd got from the GP and I'm still here and don't feel that way now (I didn't tell my son that's how I felt)
You are doing so well, you just need to try and concentrate on you, you can't help what your husband will or won't do but you can keep your mental health as stable as possible
Thinking of you and hope you're going to have a good weekend
Lots of love xx
Absolutely you are all so right. I know what it feels like to want to spend the day in bed but really trying to keep on going. I have been snapping at my mum though and it’s not her fault at all.
whats difficult is because of the nature of the offence very few people know and understand what’s going on.
your friend won’t have understood what she was doing and actually from our side we can really empathise with the person in the video and their friends and families.
life isn’t simple any more but I am sure I am nicer and less judgmental person for it.
my ex has hit rock bottom I am less anxious about his choices now as know ho has the community psychiatric team involved. Which takes the pressure off me.
tracey it sounds like you have a really strong relationship with your son. It’s my daughter that’s keeping me going and busy!!!!
whats difficult is because of the nature of the offence very few people know and understand what’s going on.
your friend won’t have understood what she was doing and actually from our side we can really empathise with the person in the video and their friends and families.
life isn’t simple any more but I am sure I am nicer and less judgmental person for it.
my ex has hit rock bottom I am less anxious about his choices now as know ho has the community psychiatric team involved. Which takes the pressure off me.
tracey it sounds like you have a really strong relationship with your son. It’s my daughter that’s keeping me going and busy!!!!
Dear all,
I am so pleased to see that you are all able to draw support from one another going through this difficult time. However, some of you have mentioned feeling very low, and there has been some discussion about suicide so I wanted to direct you to some further sources of support and help for yourselves and also others that you may be concerned about.
The GP is always a great one to start at, and there may be things that they can do that will provide yourself or someone else with some respite from these feelings. They may also be able to signpost to some local resources such as counselling or provide numbers for local crisis teams.
The Samaritans are also a really great organisation to contact if you are feeling low and you can contact them on 116 123. They are a listening service for those who are in emotional distress or are concerned about thoughts of harming themselves, open 24 hours a day seven days a week. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone who is independent from the situation.
If you do feel that you or someone else is in immediate danger, then please do take yourself or them straight to the nearest A&E, where specialist doctors will be on hand to support you through this time.
Of course, you can also contact us on our Stop It Now! Helpline on 0808 1000 900. Sometimes, just being able to talk through how we are feeling with someone who understands the difficulties of the situation you are in is enough to help us all feel a bit lighter. Focusing on getting through each day as it comes can sometimes be the best way to get through this, and on occasion, this can be an achievement in itself so we should be giving ourselves credit for that.
Lucy.
I am so pleased to see that you are all able to draw support from one another going through this difficult time. However, some of you have mentioned feeling very low, and there has been some discussion about suicide so I wanted to direct you to some further sources of support and help for yourselves and also others that you may be concerned about.
The GP is always a great one to start at, and there may be things that they can do that will provide yourself or someone else with some respite from these feelings. They may also be able to signpost to some local resources such as counselling or provide numbers for local crisis teams.
The Samaritans are also a really great organisation to contact if you are feeling low and you can contact them on 116 123. They are a listening service for those who are in emotional distress or are concerned about thoughts of harming themselves, open 24 hours a day seven days a week. Sometimes it just helps to talk to someone who is independent from the situation.
If you do feel that you or someone else is in immediate danger, then please do take yourself or them straight to the nearest A&E, where specialist doctors will be on hand to support you through this time.
Of course, you can also contact us on our Stop It Now! Helpline on 0808 1000 900. Sometimes, just being able to talk through how we are feeling with someone who understands the difficulties of the situation you are in is enough to help us all feel a bit lighter. Focusing on getting through each day as it comes can sometimes be the best way to get through this, and on occasion, this can be an achievement in itself so we should be giving ourselves credit for that.
Lucy.