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Why men do it

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sadmum

Member since
January 2021

106 posts

Posted Fri March 5, 2021 2:12pmReport post

Post deleted by user


Edited Sun March 14, 2021 10:57am

majestictopaz15

Member since
December 2019

371 posts

Posted Fri March 5, 2021 8:56pmReport post

Hi sad mum,

I recommend goi g through the posts in the forum on understanding why as many list resources like websites and videos.

When I first found out I read peer reviewed papers on the Lucy faithful forum and stop it now website. (I have a science background so I found comfort in reading about online offending).

There is the inform course for family and friends run by Lucy faithful that is recommended and goes into depth into reasons.

There are alot of reasons why offenders do the horrible crime. No two offenders are the same really.

For my partner it stemmed from low self esteem and unhealthy relationship with porn. He didn't go looking a such, he just went from link to link to link and came across dodgey pages (started off from legal porn sites).

He also Catfished online, pretending to be someone else to get attention from others. He found that if he posted as a young person he got more attention... stupid I know.

It is quite complex and I recommend reading some resources and see if your son opens up. The inform course is also available to your son but charged. It really helped my partner learn what got him in this mess and how to manage the triggers and snap back into reality.

Big hugs

CrazyMayBaby

Member since
October 2018

33 posts

Posted Tue March 9, 2021 2:20pmReport post

Hello Sadmum.

I agree with Majestic in that each offender is different and the reasons why are often complex. It can take a long time to unpick.

The Inform and Inform Plus programs run by LFF really helped us. For me it was a safe space to talk about thoughts and feelings, as well as look at what brings people to the point of offending. For my husband, it helped him look at the causes of his behaviour (a lot was wrapped up in his own childhood experiences) but also to understand the hurt / damage to victims. The Stop It Now helpline is also an excellent place to get support.

Pornopgrahy does have a huge role in many cases and it's worth researching how addictions (doesn't matter what to) create chemical highs in the brain. Eventually what used to get you high is no longer enough and addicts seek something stronger.

Keep posting on this forum when you need to. We are here for each other.

Take care. May-Baby