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Morning all. So I found out yesterday that my husband has to attend the station for his bail date as the devices have been checked and they've completed their searches. I know this is really quick as we are approaching 3 months of our journey. His solicitor will be attending also so he is anticipating an interview. At the moment they haven't disclosed anything to the solicitor just that he needs to attend and the devices have been searched.
I have so many questions. Is it quick because we didn't have as many devices, my laptop and hard drive would have been quite empty as rarely used. His laptop, phones and one hard drive were taken. He said he never viewed porn via his phones only his laptop and he hasn't used the hard drive so he said the laptop is the only place they'd find anything. Have they found a small amount and that's why it's quick? I spoke to the oic at the end of January and he said devices hadn't been checked yet. Then last week when I spoke to him he said they'd started but I have no idea when they started. Or is it that what they found was easy to access? My husband wouldn't know how to conceal things apart from deleting stuff he's not really IT savvy.
He's told the solicitor to give me full disclosure. So will the solicitor know what they've found before he attends? How long will he be there for? Could he be charged there and then? Will there be a report like a forensics report, will the solicitor see it and as he's given me disclosure will I see anything?
Best thing that can come of this is either they haven't found anything. They've found very little or what they've found is at least what my husband swears is all they could find so at least I can have some peace in knowing he isn't lying to me still. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I said the future of our relationship sort of hangs on what they find and now I might find out sooner than I thought.
I have so many questions. Is it quick because we didn't have as many devices, my laptop and hard drive would have been quite empty as rarely used. His laptop, phones and one hard drive were taken. He said he never viewed porn via his phones only his laptop and he hasn't used the hard drive so he said the laptop is the only place they'd find anything. Have they found a small amount and that's why it's quick? I spoke to the oic at the end of January and he said devices hadn't been checked yet. Then last week when I spoke to him he said they'd started but I have no idea when they started. Or is it that what they found was easy to access? My husband wouldn't know how to conceal things apart from deleting stuff he's not really IT savvy.
He's told the solicitor to give me full disclosure. So will the solicitor know what they've found before he attends? How long will he be there for? Could he be charged there and then? Will there be a report like a forensics report, will the solicitor see it and as he's given me disclosure will I see anything?
Best thing that can come of this is either they haven't found anything. They've found very little or what they've found is at least what my husband swears is all they could find so at least I can have some peace in knowing he isn't lying to me still. I'm scared. I'm nervous. I said the future of our relationship sort of hangs on what they find and now I might find out sooner than I thought.
Thank you Lee for replying so quickly. Okay I was probably expecting to know more so I need to accept I still might not know what id like to. He has given me an idea of what there could be so I am hoping that if there is stuff it is exactly that and no nasty surprises as it will permanently damage our relationship moving forward if he is still lying to me. I want to trust his word but I can't find it in myself to trust him right now not after what I've been through which as you know from your own experience was having rug ripped from under my feet. Our perfect and happy life and plans just gone and our perfect Xmas which we worked so hard for and planned destroyed. If he is telling me the truth then I feel I will be able to trust him a little more and at least know he has been honest. I'd get massive comfort from that.
Will he not get any further detail until the day then or will his solicitor have a small amount of info in the days prior? All of a sudden time has slowed down and I feel every day will be so long until then. The good thing is I haven't been working from home much now I'm actually in work and very busy so in the week I will have very little time to think as I will be up and out the door with the kids very early and getting in early evening with them and it's all go then dinner, baths and bed.
It's just another step closer to the end isn't it. I just so desperately want to be happy again.
Will he not get any further detail until the day then or will his solicitor have a small amount of info in the days prior? All of a sudden time has slowed down and I feel every day will be so long until then. The good thing is I haven't been working from home much now I'm actually in work and very busy so in the week I will have very little time to think as I will be up and out the door with the kids very early and getting in early evening with them and it's all go then dinner, baths and bed.
It's just another step closer to the end isn't it. I just so desperately want to be happy again.
Thanks Lee. It is helping but also making me anxious as working from home was so much easier in my own little space now I'm seeing people all the time and I don't want to. But it's busy so keeps me occupied. I'm going to bed earlier to avoid sitting downstairs as I feel so alone on an evening. I could do with the extra sleep as 2 young kids and full time work is tiring me out.
I will wait and see this next phase brings then. Thank you for your help x
I will wait and see this next phase brings then. Thank you for your help x
It must be very dependant on force area as to what is disclosed at this stage or not as my ex was told exactly what they found on his devices at his final interview and was questioned on it all. We weren't together by then and had an ongoing family court case so I didn't find out what had been found on his devices until a couple of weeks later when the transcript of his interview and the forensic reports were disclosed to family court (this was still before CPS decided to move forward with prosecution).
Still, it's worth noting that not absolutely everything was disclosed - only the main things. So we knew the number of IIOC, categories, ages and subject matter involved but later, during our family court proceedings, some evidence that points towards potential grooming behaviour was also disclosed but he has not been charged with this so my guess is that it's too ambiguous to bring a charge against it (but family court saw fit to use it against him as the burden of proof is much less).
So, I guess, from my experience, you can't really prepare for what might and might not be disclosed. I am convinced the police are holding more back that would at least point to his character as he is planning on taking it to trial with a not guilty plea - so while there may be nothing more they can charge him with that they haven't already disclosed, I think they will have enough to disprove his innocent plea and they are keeping that back.
Still, it's worth noting that not absolutely everything was disclosed - only the main things. So we knew the number of IIOC, categories, ages and subject matter involved but later, during our family court proceedings, some evidence that points towards potential grooming behaviour was also disclosed but he has not been charged with this so my guess is that it's too ambiguous to bring a charge against it (but family court saw fit to use it against him as the burden of proof is much less).
So, I guess, from my experience, you can't really prepare for what might and might not be disclosed. I am convinced the police are holding more back that would at least point to his character as he is planning on taking it to trial with a not guilty plea - so while there may be nothing more they can charge him with that they haven't already disclosed, I think they will have enough to disprove his innocent plea and they are keeping that back.
Oh, it must be different for family court then as there were definitely some things that came up as a surprise.
I won't know anything before his trial anyway as I'm no longer involved so I get to wait to read about it all in the papers along with every other Tom, Dick and Harry.
I won't know anything before his trial anyway as I'm no longer involved so I get to wait to read about it all in the papers along with every other Tom, Dick and Harry.
The police told his solicitor they would make a disclosure by yesterday and the didn't. The solicitor is annoyed and so am I as I've built up all week thinking I might know a little more by the weekend. He's in the station Tuesday morning it doesn't leave much time now. At the same time I'd built myself up so much to thinking what if what they tell me means I just can't be with him any more what if knowing what they've found means I just can't love him the same. I'm so confused. I know that Tuesday I'll know something more and that terrifies me.
Yes the police definitely told the solicitor he would receive disclosure by Friday. He arranged to call my husband Friday afternoon to share what he has and called to say no disclosure and he was really annoyed as he had communicated through the week that it would be by Friday at the latest. Tuesday his bail is up and his solicitor will be there too as they're expecting an interview as all devices have been checked now. I'm just finding it stressful. I really wanted to know yesterday as I'd have the weekend to process it. I'm back to work again Monday and I could do without having to deal with this and the kids on an evening and still be on form at work. There's no where to hide at my work it's all very public and face to face with people.
Oh it's iioc - the paperwork I was given on his arrest day said possession. But the social worker report said the police stated download and upload of images and the dates were a a period of some months a couple of years ago. When I spoke to the oic after reading the sw report he confirmed that this is what they were investigating