Completely heartbroken and shocked
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hi everybody, I’m new on here and desperate for any help and advise on how to get through this nightmare ! This is a long horrendous story and I apologise but was directed to you all for help, guidance and support...
( my ex husband and I have been separated for 4.5 years and divorced since December. We have 2 children 14 and 11, they both live with me and my fiancée )
2 weeks ago we got a knock from 2 police officers asking to speak to me about my ex.... at first I thought they were here to tell me he was is an accident of something. But instead informed me that he has been arrested for online indecent activities involving underage children and all his devices have been taken. I was absolutely shocked beyond belief as he was one of my closest friend despite out split. He could see and have contact with the children when every he wanted as I believe it’s so important. I was advised by the police that contact should only be supervised until the investigation is complete. At that moment my heart broke for my children as they love their dad.
And the whole situation just got worse and worse as the days have passed, to such an extent I feel in a hazy bubble.... ( I found out last week I’m pregnant too, that’s a good thing tho )
so since then I have had the police and social services at my house on 4 different occasions for statements and to talk to the children. The police and investigators have since discovered on his divices videos and photos involving our one child ( class A ) although there are class b and c too amount other images he has got from the people he has been chatting, sharing and receiving images from. So obviously social services are involved and my child has had to go for a full medical !!
He is on bail with strict restrictions and no visitation or contact at all. He pleaded guilty in court and goes to crown court next month. He is been charged for “ taking” “possession” “ sexual assault of a minor” and ldistributing”
I am beyond mortified and don’t know how to move forward or even begin. This man I once loved, considered my friend and trusted has broken me and my children. Life for them will never be the same. I am finding this all so hard and have a million thoughts and “what ifs” running through my head. Obviously I am full of hate for this man now at what he has done. Does anyone have any idea if he will serve time in jail for this awfulness ? Or it there a chance he could walk with suspended sentence ....
any advise please x
( my ex husband and I have been separated for 4.5 years and divorced since December. We have 2 children 14 and 11, they both live with me and my fiancée )
2 weeks ago we got a knock from 2 police officers asking to speak to me about my ex.... at first I thought they were here to tell me he was is an accident of something. But instead informed me that he has been arrested for online indecent activities involving underage children and all his devices have been taken. I was absolutely shocked beyond belief as he was one of my closest friend despite out split. He could see and have contact with the children when every he wanted as I believe it’s so important. I was advised by the police that contact should only be supervised until the investigation is complete. At that moment my heart broke for my children as they love their dad.
And the whole situation just got worse and worse as the days have passed, to such an extent I feel in a hazy bubble.... ( I found out last week I’m pregnant too, that’s a good thing tho )
so since then I have had the police and social services at my house on 4 different occasions for statements and to talk to the children. The police and investigators have since discovered on his divices videos and photos involving our one child ( class A ) although there are class b and c too amount other images he has got from the people he has been chatting, sharing and receiving images from. So obviously social services are involved and my child has had to go for a full medical !!
He is on bail with strict restrictions and no visitation or contact at all. He pleaded guilty in court and goes to crown court next month. He is been charged for “ taking” “possession” “ sexual assault of a minor” and ldistributing”
I am beyond mortified and don’t know how to move forward or even begin. This man I once loved, considered my friend and trusted has broken me and my children. Life for them will never be the same. I am finding this all so hard and have a million thoughts and “what ifs” running through my head. Obviously I am full of hate for this man now at what he has done. Does anyone have any idea if he will serve time in jail for this awfulness ? Or it there a chance he could walk with suspended sentence ....
any advise please x
Hello Shattered01,
I am sorry to hear that your family is going through a particularly difficult time at the moment. It is really positive you have reached out for some?support on this forum;?hopefully other forum members will reply soon with further support and advice. I can see that this is a really difficult time for your family and this difficulty may be clouding the enjoyment of pregnancy for you.
You might find it helpful to book an appointment with your GP, to discuss with them how you are feeling at the moment. The GP might be able to refer you on to mental health services that can support you and your family. You may even wish to ask for a referral for counselling or therapy for yourself and your children.
Unfortunately, we cannot provide any information about what sentence he may be likely to receive. It is positive that social services are supporting you at this time, you may able be able to enquire with them about any further mental health support your family can receive during this difficult time.
This is a very difficult situation to process and it is important that you feel supported at this time. Therefore, I would encourage you to contact us on our Stop it Now! helpline (0808 1000 900) where you can talk with one of our helpline operators for some tailored advice and support. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone from a landline and you can speak to an empathetic helpline operator who supports people in similar situations every day.
Take Care,
Lucy
I am sorry to hear that your family is going through a particularly difficult time at the moment. It is really positive you have reached out for some?support on this forum;?hopefully other forum members will reply soon with further support and advice. I can see that this is a really difficult time for your family and this difficulty may be clouding the enjoyment of pregnancy for you.
You might find it helpful to book an appointment with your GP, to discuss with them how you are feeling at the moment. The GP might be able to refer you on to mental health services that can support you and your family. You may even wish to ask for a referral for counselling or therapy for yourself and your children.
Unfortunately, we cannot provide any information about what sentence he may be likely to receive. It is positive that social services are supporting you at this time, you may able be able to enquire with them about any further mental health support your family can receive during this difficult time.
This is a very difficult situation to process and it is important that you feel supported at this time. Therefore, I would encourage you to contact us on our Stop it Now! helpline (0808 1000 900) where you can talk with one of our helpline operators for some tailored advice and support. The helpline is anonymous, confidential and free to phone from a landline and you can speak to an empathetic helpline operator who supports people in similar situations every day.
Take Care,
Lucy