Nearly a week, what now, so many questions!!
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I hope it's ok, I have reposted again,hust to get a reply. I know it was first post and needed to be approved. I just didn't want to get lost!!
I have read through so much on here and I believe I'm getting the hang of some of the terms. It will be a week Tuesday that we got the knock, 7pm as I was about to take my daughter to bed. As like most of you, the most traumatic thing in my life, to be fair the police were brilliant. They searched through out laptops and phones (including my 11 year old sons phone) and obviously nothing there but then found a laptop in his van which was where the images were.
He has been honest with me and has told me everything. He is still at home but in the spare bedroom and he knows our future is bleak but I will help him. I work at a school and I have told the head who has been brilliantly supportive. Although I went to log onto to our learning platform to help do some marking and found that all the passwords have been changed. I understand why but the shame I felt!
my questions are how do you get past repeating grotesque thoughts in your head? All I do is think those girls could of been the same age as our daughter, he swears he saw as not real and it was all pretend in his thought process. I know I don't get it!!
ia there a way of finding a specialist solicitor, I have googled but a lot comes up and they don't seem to specialiseas such
with regards to convictions and sentencing. I assume they take into account how long it went on for as well as the images looked at.
How long does it take for ss to make contact, it's been 5 days!
Who would tell their children (mine are 8 and 11) what their father has done. I was never going to say anything but after reading about cases being made public, I don't know!
Thank you if you have made it this far and apologies for this ramble!
I am so tired, wish I could wake from this nightmare!
I have read through so much on here and I believe I'm getting the hang of some of the terms. It will be a week Tuesday that we got the knock, 7pm as I was about to take my daughter to bed. As like most of you, the most traumatic thing in my life, to be fair the police were brilliant. They searched through out laptops and phones (including my 11 year old sons phone) and obviously nothing there but then found a laptop in his van which was where the images were.
He has been honest with me and has told me everything. He is still at home but in the spare bedroom and he knows our future is bleak but I will help him. I work at a school and I have told the head who has been brilliantly supportive. Although I went to log onto to our learning platform to help do some marking and found that all the passwords have been changed. I understand why but the shame I felt!
my questions are how do you get past repeating grotesque thoughts in your head? All I do is think those girls could of been the same age as our daughter, he swears he saw as not real and it was all pretend in his thought process. I know I don't get it!!
ia there a way of finding a specialist solicitor, I have googled but a lot comes up and they don't seem to specialiseas such
with regards to convictions and sentencing. I assume they take into account how long it went on for as well as the images looked at.
How long does it take for ss to make contact, it's been 5 days!
Who would tell their children (mine are 8 and 11) what their father has done. I was never going to say anything but after reading about cases being made public, I don't know!
Thank you if you have made it this far and apologies for this ramble!
I am so tired, wish I could wake from this nightmare!
Hi Sid. I am sorry you are in this "club". I do not know anything about ss as no children at home. I can thank my lucky stars, as from what I have read on here its an absolute minefield. I think it all depends on your ss in your area.
As for same thing going round and round your head. All you can do is keep yourself really busy. It will not stop you thinking when you are in bed, but hopefully you will sleep because you are tired.
Its been 10 months for me and 7 months since we split up. I am now out of the loop as regards information. I was not told much, only that its one of the worse images they have seen. My husband denies everything and would not tell me what he downloaded. He said he forgot what it was and what it was about. In a way its a relief. In the early days I thought about it all day every day (and night), but now I have decided to look to the future. I will probably never know if he gets charged or what for, so I try not to torture myself by imagining things he might have seen.
For me ignorance is bliss, but if I had children I would move heaven and earth to get the truth. Its very early days for you. I wish you luck and hope you have someone you can trust to confide in. I do not know what I would have done without my family and friends.
As for same thing going round and round your head. All you can do is keep yourself really busy. It will not stop you thinking when you are in bed, but hopefully you will sleep because you are tired.
Its been 10 months for me and 7 months since we split up. I am now out of the loop as regards information. I was not told much, only that its one of the worse images they have seen. My husband denies everything and would not tell me what he downloaded. He said he forgot what it was and what it was about. In a way its a relief. In the early days I thought about it all day every day (and night), but now I have decided to look to the future. I will probably never know if he gets charged or what for, so I try not to torture myself by imagining things he might have seen.
For me ignorance is bliss, but if I had children I would move heaven and earth to get the truth. Its very early days for you. I wish you luck and hope you have someone you can trust to confide in. I do not know what I would have done without my family and friends.
Thank you for replying. It is so lonely and the anger I feel towards him for bringing it into our home is unreal! I am such a practical person and I do feel knowledge is power but this is all such an unknown! I am so mixed up and I am even questioning if he did love me and still does. He swears he does and he says that he took everything for granted! SS is what I am truly afraid for, I have read the horror stories in here and I wonder what they will have in store for us!
i will continue to look further back and read. Thank yiu
i will continue to look further back and read. Thank yiu