I feel like I’ve failed. I feel like giving my children up.
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Today my 3 year old told SS that he'd seen his daddy through the window when he passed by. He hasn't but sees the post and delivery men and sometimes thinks they are daddy. I panicked when the SW asked me this trying to think why my 3 year old would have said it but because I was trying to watch what I say as I know from past experiences how they can pull apart an explanation and twist it to what they want to believe and once they have it's hard to prove them wrong.
I feel she didn't believe me.
I'm sick of the visits. I'm sick of the questions. I hate how they pull my family, home and life apart.
I feel like I've failed my kids and they would be best off living somewhere else. It's been about 4months since the knock and I know I've got a long way to go till it's all over. He's done this but apart from the police investigation he's had done he's got off lightly. Trying to carry on a normal life while under the scrutiny of SS is hard i think I'm doing a good job then something like this happens and I crumble.
my oldest child says if they believe what a 3year old then they are crazy.
I feel like disappearing.
I feel she didn't believe me.
I'm sick of the visits. I'm sick of the questions. I hate how they pull my family, home and life apart.
I feel like I've failed my kids and they would be best off living somewhere else. It's been about 4months since the knock and I know I've got a long way to go till it's all over. He's done this but apart from the police investigation he's had done he's got off lightly. Trying to carry on a normal life while under the scrutiny of SS is hard i think I'm doing a good job then something like this happens and I crumble.
my oldest child says if they believe what a 3year old then they are crazy.
I feel like disappearing.
Hey - I just wanted to reach out to you to say that I hope you're ok, as even with the title topic o can tell you must be going through a lot of torment right now.
I haven't been in this situation myself as I don't have children but I realise how hard all of this must be for you. I can bet you that you're doing an amazing job. I know there will be some hard day's but don't think you have let your kids down. You've been put in an impossible situation that you would never have seen coming and you are so strong to be going through that and to still be there for your kids in the process. They will be so grateful to you for that, when they are old enough to understand.
I hope some of the other people with families can give you more specific advice but please know that you aren't alone and you're doing so well. Sending lots of love.
I haven't been in this situation myself as I don't have children but I realise how hard all of this must be for you. I can bet you that you're doing an amazing job. I know there will be some hard day's but don't think you have let your kids down. You've been put in an impossible situation that you would never have seen coming and you are so strong to be going through that and to still be there for your kids in the process. They will be so grateful to you for that, when they are old enough to understand.
I hope some of the other people with families can give you more specific advice but please know that you aren't alone and you're doing so well. Sending lots of love.
Hi,
I haven't posted for the longest time but I had to log in to reply to you. I hear you. Its a truly awful time and all the responsibility lies on you. But you are doing a fantastic job and all this will pass, it will get better I promise. I've felt what you're feeling and I know how it feels. It angers me so much that we are put through so much more and we are innocent.
You will get through this. It will get better. I have now been discharged and at times I never thought I'd get through. The experience was truly awful so I just wanted you to know I get it and you're not alone.
Sending love and strength xx
I haven't posted for the longest time but I had to log in to reply to you. I hear you. Its a truly awful time and all the responsibility lies on you. But you are doing a fantastic job and all this will pass, it will get better I promise. I've felt what you're feeling and I know how it feels. It angers me so much that we are put through so much more and we are innocent.
You will get through this. It will get better. I have now been discharged and at times I never thought I'd get through. The experience was truly awful so I just wanted you to know I get it and you're not alone.
Sending love and strength xx
Oh rusty
I so get this sw asked me if my children had spoke to my partner and I was like no because u said he couldn't,, she turned to my daughter and asked he when was the last time u spoke to daddy she said yesterday which she had not I froze and I didn't know what to say or do. Then I get information and I don't know what to do with it and feel us like u I feel like I have had enough and can't keep going,, then get told that I need to go back to my partner and tell him to tell me everything I just feel like I am as guilty because of what he's done then cause I said I feel it important that she has contact and is told about what he has done as she grows then cutting him off and then giving her all the information when 18 and not understand and running off to find him scary me so much just as much as them saying he could harm a child,,,
I so get this sw asked me if my children had spoke to my partner and I was like no because u said he couldn't,, she turned to my daughter and asked he when was the last time u spoke to daddy she said yesterday which she had not I froze and I didn't know what to say or do. Then I get information and I don't know what to do with it and feel us like u I feel like I have had enough and can't keep going,, then get told that I need to go back to my partner and tell him to tell me everything I just feel like I am as guilty because of what he's done then cause I said I feel it important that she has contact and is told about what he has done as she grows then cutting him off and then giving her all the information when 18 and not understand and running off to find him scary me so much just as much as them saying he could harm a child,,,
Rusty123, I admire you and all the other mums on here. You have to deal with so much at a time when you must want to curl up and hide away. But instead you carry on and look after your children and then have to prove to authorities that you can! You are amazing, don't ever think of giving up. You are the best care giver for your children, they love you and they know you love them. It will get easier. Try and lean on someone if you can. No one can do it all alone. xxx
Hi rusty123
My heart goes out to you. My family is grown up and moved away, so I do not have to deal with SS.
I just want to say that you will get through this. Yes at the moment it does feel like you are being punished for his crime. SS say they are protecting the children, but it seems more like they are judging all men the same.
You are the innocent one and you will find the strength to get you and your family through this. Do not doubt that you are a good Mum. When you tuck your little ones in tonight and every night, tell yourself that you are doing what YOU think is best for them and nothing and no one will take them away from you. They are your world, but you are also their world.
Hope you have a good day. Give them extra hugs. xx
My heart goes out to you. My family is grown up and moved away, so I do not have to deal with SS.
I just want to say that you will get through this. Yes at the moment it does feel like you are being punished for his crime. SS say they are protecting the children, but it seems more like they are judging all men the same.
You are the innocent one and you will find the strength to get you and your family through this. Do not doubt that you are a good Mum. When you tuck your little ones in tonight and every night, tell yourself that you are doing what YOU think is best for them and nothing and no one will take them away from you. They are your world, but you are also their world.
Hope you have a good day. Give them extra hugs. xx
Thank you all for ur reply's and support. I've done some digging and the crafty cow of a social worker spoke to my 3year old with just her and another social worker in the room. The SW had sent me to fetch one of my other children to talk to her.
this is wrong right? She's in the wrong? How do I raise this issue with her or higher up? Also if she mentions it in a core meeting will the chair listen to her or take on board that's she's in the wrong?
I broke down and work and explained it all to my manager and it was them that questioned that the SW was in the wrong.
this is wrong right? She's in the wrong? How do I raise this issue with her or higher up? Also if she mentions it in a core meeting will the chair listen to her or take on board that's she's in the wrong?
I broke down and work and explained it all to my manager and it was them that questioned that the SW was in the wrong.