Bad few days
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My partner when to magistrates court on friday. He is going to magistrates again in 8 weeks for sentencing for possession of iioc.
I thought, at this point, i'd feel better about it all, but i feel worse. From the date of the knock until friday i think i was generally ok on the whole and felt quite positive more often than not. I thought i'd feel better after the first court appearance - especially the fact we only have to go to magistrates again and not crown.. but i feel as though the last 2-3 days its hit me that the old life i knew and enjoyed is probably gone forever.
In a way i think we are lucky, no crown court, we have no kids so theres no SS to worry about, and we don't seem to have had to wait as long as some peoples situations i see on here (knock july2020 and second court appearnace may21) but i don't feel lucky at all :(
I've really started to worry about him losing his job if he gets an SHPO.. and just worry about things like taking holidays etc from now on (we are usually quite avid travellers) . I'm so paranoid that every time my phone goes I worry its someone we know who has found out (we've not told anyone about the situation which really, is another problem as i feel like i'm all alone with this with no one to talk to). I found that today i didn't even want to do the simple things like go food shopping.. i didn't even want to leave the house. Being at work yesterday (a job i really enjoy), i just found myself constantly worrying about what if my friends i have there find out and i they don't want to know me anymore and i lose my job - the only thing thats really keeping me going at the moment. I love my partner but i can't believe this is my life now.
i do think im starting to over think everything but i can't seem to stop. i keep toying with the idea of phoning my doctors or the helpline but i don't even really know what i'd say? i just keep bursting into tears
This is just a bit of a moan post really.. i guess i just want to know it'll get easier? Its really surprised me that i'm not feeling better than i did in all the months leading upto the first court appearance :(
I thought, at this point, i'd feel better about it all, but i feel worse. From the date of the knock until friday i think i was generally ok on the whole and felt quite positive more often than not. I thought i'd feel better after the first court appearance - especially the fact we only have to go to magistrates again and not crown.. but i feel as though the last 2-3 days its hit me that the old life i knew and enjoyed is probably gone forever.
In a way i think we are lucky, no crown court, we have no kids so theres no SS to worry about, and we don't seem to have had to wait as long as some peoples situations i see on here (knock july2020 and second court appearnace may21) but i don't feel lucky at all :(
I've really started to worry about him losing his job if he gets an SHPO.. and just worry about things like taking holidays etc from now on (we are usually quite avid travellers) . I'm so paranoid that every time my phone goes I worry its someone we know who has found out (we've not told anyone about the situation which really, is another problem as i feel like i'm all alone with this with no one to talk to). I found that today i didn't even want to do the simple things like go food shopping.. i didn't even want to leave the house. Being at work yesterday (a job i really enjoy), i just found myself constantly worrying about what if my friends i have there find out and i they don't want to know me anymore and i lose my job - the only thing thats really keeping me going at the moment. I love my partner but i can't believe this is my life now.
i do think im starting to over think everything but i can't seem to stop. i keep toying with the idea of phoning my doctors or the helpline but i don't even really know what i'd say? i just keep bursting into tears
This is just a bit of a moan post really.. i guess i just want to know it'll get easier? Its really surprised me that i'm not feeling better than i did in all the months leading upto the first court appearance :(
Hi
I felt pretty much like in the first few days ,whats going to happen? Can we ever get over whats happened? Whats our life going to be like from now on?
The first few days and months were the hardest days I'd ever experienced..I live miles away from my family,ive one close friend who couldn't visit because of covid.
I felt so lonely,and but for my daughter,I dnt think I'd have still been here..yes it's hard ,like incredibly hard at first but you learn to cope and learn to deal with it especially after it's gone to court because then u can start to move forward and start to look to a new life..
Ive been angry ,really angry with my husband because all this has left me grieving for the life that we had and now we must learn to live a new life..yes it will be different but because we're strong,I know we can get through it together.
So in answer to your question, I truly believe that it does get better,it just takes time xxx
I felt pretty much like in the first few days ,whats going to happen? Can we ever get over whats happened? Whats our life going to be like from now on?
The first few days and months were the hardest days I'd ever experienced..I live miles away from my family,ive one close friend who couldn't visit because of covid.
I felt so lonely,and but for my daughter,I dnt think I'd have still been here..yes it's hard ,like incredibly hard at first but you learn to cope and learn to deal with it especially after it's gone to court because then u can start to move forward and start to look to a new life..
Ive been angry ,really angry with my husband because all this has left me grieving for the life that we had and now we must learn to live a new life..yes it will be different but because we're strong,I know we can get through it together.
So in answer to your question, I truly believe that it does get better,it just takes time xxx
It does honestly get easier with time. For the first few months post sentencing I didn't want to leave the house unless I had to. I drove to a supermarket further away in order to minimise the risk of bumping into someone. I would be on high alert if there was a knock at the door.
We are now 18 months post sentencing, and I'm a lot less paranoid. There are still times when I panic, happened the other day when the doorbell went and I wasn't expecting it. But those times are a lot less.
There's definitely things you can do to make yourself feel more at ease, consider security camera / door bell cameras for example so you know who is at the door etc.
By choosing to stay we are making a decision that our lives will never quite be the same again. However, it doesn't mean that we can't still do things, travel and holidays are still possible there's just more things to consider. I do think it's normal to go through a phase of mourning for the life that you thought you would have that you can no longer have. This experience has taught me nothing in life is guaranteed and you need to make the best of the cards that you are dealt.
Once sentencing is over, you will finally be able to start to rebuild your lives together.
We are now 18 months post sentencing, and I'm a lot less paranoid. There are still times when I panic, happened the other day when the doorbell went and I wasn't expecting it. But those times are a lot less.
There's definitely things you can do to make yourself feel more at ease, consider security camera / door bell cameras for example so you know who is at the door etc.
By choosing to stay we are making a decision that our lives will never quite be the same again. However, it doesn't mean that we can't still do things, travel and holidays are still possible there's just more things to consider. I do think it's normal to go through a phase of mourning for the life that you thought you would have that you can no longer have. This experience has taught me nothing in life is guaranteed and you need to make the best of the cards that you are dealt.
Once sentencing is over, you will finally be able to start to rebuild your lives together.