Lonely
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Hi,
Just a general ramble really. I have been signed off work with stress so it probably is a result of having too much time to think, but I can't stop crying today. I posted my situation on here before. I'm in my early 20s, found pictures of teen girls on my boyfriends phone and reported him. My parents and his parents know and are supportive of both of us.
I guess I was shocked at my parents reaction, especially my mum who seemed very concerned whether my ex boyfriend was okay, rather than realising what he had done. He is very much not a P, and I think that much is clear to them which is perhaps why they are reacting in such a way. I am pleased that both mine and his parents are supportive of both of us, it is a preferable situation to people being angry and blaming.
I guess I feel so desperately lonely as it seems that his life has gone back to normal, nobody really talks about it and yet it has been making me ill mentally and physically for a year now, since it happened, only a few weeks since our parents found out. I am the one left with no friends, they left as they couldn't accept me still being friends with him, and bad mental health (already prone to being depressed before this whole thing).
Also following the death of the woman by the police officer which is all over the news, I feel triggered. Just because of the general topic of violence and harm against women from men. I don't trust men, I was terrified walking my dog alone today and just started crying.
I feel awful, everyone in my life expects me to be planning what I'm doing post-uni, as my ex boyfriend is, but my life is still upside down.
Lavender x
Just a general ramble really. I have been signed off work with stress so it probably is a result of having too much time to think, but I can't stop crying today. I posted my situation on here before. I'm in my early 20s, found pictures of teen girls on my boyfriends phone and reported him. My parents and his parents know and are supportive of both of us.
I guess I was shocked at my parents reaction, especially my mum who seemed very concerned whether my ex boyfriend was okay, rather than realising what he had done. He is very much not a P, and I think that much is clear to them which is perhaps why they are reacting in such a way. I am pleased that both mine and his parents are supportive of both of us, it is a preferable situation to people being angry and blaming.
I guess I feel so desperately lonely as it seems that his life has gone back to normal, nobody really talks about it and yet it has been making me ill mentally and physically for a year now, since it happened, only a few weeks since our parents found out. I am the one left with no friends, they left as they couldn't accept me still being friends with him, and bad mental health (already prone to being depressed before this whole thing).
Also following the death of the woman by the police officer which is all over the news, I feel triggered. Just because of the general topic of violence and harm against women from men. I don't trust men, I was terrified walking my dog alone today and just started crying.
I feel awful, everyone in my life expects me to be planning what I'm doing post-uni, as my ex boyfriend is, but my life is still upside down.
Lavender x
Hello, I don't really have any advice etc but just wanted you to know that you are not alone, there's lots of help and advice on here. I think you need to give yourself time to breathe, remember it's ok not to be ok xx
Hi Heartbroken,
Thank you. I have found some comfort in this forum this afternoon, but it's just a bad day. Do you know what I mean? Some days it all just weighs on my mind more than others.
I feel like a bit of a rareity on this site, what with my age and him not being my husband but I have just found such comfort in reading through people's own situations and others helpful responses. It seems so ridicullous that we have to be silent and hide away something that is just so traumatic to go through. With trauma it's good to speak about it and let it out to be free from it but that isn't always possible, for me it has manifested into anxiety and today a low mood.
Lavender xx
Thank you. I have found some comfort in this forum this afternoon, but it's just a bad day. Do you know what I mean? Some days it all just weighs on my mind more than others.
I feel like a bit of a rareity on this site, what with my age and him not being my husband but I have just found such comfort in reading through people's own situations and others helpful responses. It seems so ridicullous that we have to be silent and hide away something that is just so traumatic to go through. With trauma it's good to speak about it and let it out to be free from it but that isn't always possible, for me it has manifested into anxiety and today a low mood.
Lavender xx
I'm struggling today too tbh, I'd been with my partner 3 years and although we were engaged we weren't married. We got the knock 6 weeks ago and seemingly he'd been addicted to porn for about 15 years and downloading iioc and having online affairs with other women for about half the time we'd been together. I didn't have a clue and adored him. I've moved back home and am trying to start a life without him but it's so so hard, as despite everything I love him, I hate his actions and would never trust him again but the feelings you have don't just disappear overnight. We will all get through this, it's just so much to take in all at once, the shock, the betrayal even the grief of losing the man we thought we were with. I feel I have lost my whole future x
I'm sorry you're both feeling so down, personally I feel that because of the 'topic' it's such an isolating thing. It's not the done thing to bring it up or try talk about it.
For me, it's an ex but the father of my kids so we still got involved in the whole mess. At first I tried keeping it inside, but found I needed to just blurt it out to someone. In a way, I needed to see another person's reaction to figure out if the way I felt was normal/valid.
Do you have one trusted friend who you can be completely honest with, without worrying about it going further or judging you?
For me, it's an ex but the father of my kids so we still got involved in the whole mess. At first I tried keeping it inside, but found I needed to just blurt it out to someone. In a way, I needed to see another person's reaction to figure out if the way I felt was normal/valid.
Do you have one trusted friend who you can be completely honest with, without worrying about it going further or judging you?