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I can't cope anymore

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DD

Member since
March 2021

13 posts

Posted Tue March 16, 2021 1:03pmReport post

I just can't do this anymore I'm so alone although still with him and I think it's down to not wanting to be alone..i had been on m own for 8 years after a divorce and he was the only person I'd let into my life I keep asking myself why was he so selfish to get involved with anyone when he knew he had a court case coming up for indecent images my heads all over the place

Lucy from Stop it Now!

Member since
September 2018

490 posts

Posted Thu March 18, 2021 12:00amReport post

Hi DD,



I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling with your situation but it is really positive that you are reaching out for some support, especially as this is such a difficult topic to talk about. Hopefully you will receive some replies from other forum members but in the meantime, I just wanted to take the opportunity to encourage you to ring the Stop it Now! Helpline (0808 1000 900) to speak with an empathetic helpline operator about your situation and how you are feeling and receive some further support.



I also wanted to pass on details for the Samaritans who are open 24/7 to listen and support anyone experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress. You can phone them on 116 123. I would also suggest that you book an urgent appointment with your GP if you are experiencing any immediate thoughts of self-harm or phone 999 for an ambulance if you feel as though you may harm yourself.



I hope you can get the support you need and I would encourage you to continue taking things one day at a time and to continue reaching out for support during this difficult time.



Best wishes,



Lucy

In limbo

Member since
January 2021

55 posts

Posted Thu March 18, 2021 10:50amReport post

Hi DD. I sent you a reply but it seems to have disappeared when I pressed post reply. I am off to work soon, but just wanted to know that i am thinking of you. take care

Yellowhouse

Member since
December 2020

129 posts

Posted Thu March 18, 2021 11:55amReport post

Hi DD

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling. Please know you're not alone, it's such a horrible and scary and lonely journey to be on.

You sounds as though you have mixed feelings about being with your partner. I don't know anything about the situation, or the offences, so it's hard to comment, but it sounds like you would benefit from talking it all over, to start to make some sense of it all? Could you call the helpline (I found them so helpful) and discuss how you are feeling and look at your options for support (maybe counselling could help?)

You may feel all alone right now, but please know that you are not - we are all here to support you, please post again and let us know how you are feeling today.

Sending love xx

In limbo

Member since
January 2021

55 posts

Posted Fri March 19, 2021 12:55pmReport post

Hi DD. I totally understand how you feel. I am 11 months into this. If you leave him you will feel guilty, if you stay you will also feel guilty.

If you really love him and can talk openly about it and still trust him, you may get through this. However please do not stay with him because you do not want to be alone.

I lost my husband to Cancer in my early 50's and thought I could not go on. I had never even taken cash out of the ATM. I thought I would be alone forever. Then I met my current husband and we were together for 10 years. i thought we were happy, until "the knock" I love my husband but he refused to even talk about it for 9 weeks, add the fact it was 1st lockdown, which made it worse.

I tried for 3 months to save my marriage. whenever i tried to talk to him, he would deny everything and accuse me of not trusting him and said he had never looked at any porn. i also found out he had got 4 credit cards behind my back and run uop debts. I realised that our marriage was over.

8 months on I know a lot more about him. His previous 2 marriages had broken up due to his addiction to porn. He told me one had upped and left and the other had an affair and disappeared with the kids.

I am glad I did not split up with him straight away as i think i would have felt guilty forever.

like me you have been through a lot and been on your own. You are stronger than you think. When you hit rock bottom there is only one way to go and that is up. you rebuilt your life before and you can do it again.

Whatever you decide, take your time and do whats right for you. Do not worry about what other people think.