Family and Friends Forum

At the moment my husband has the exact bail conditions. I have a daughter over 18 and my son was 16 a while back. My husband returns to the police station for his second bail answering soon and I think they will release him under investigation too. If it's bail this time I'm sure they have to apply to the magistrates and it has to be a strong enough reason. I mean I'm only summising, we don't know any info, don't even know if the police have started to look at his phone or laptop

Lee this is what confuses me!. Say when my husband goes to answer bail again and they don't rebail but release under investigation then he has no bail restrictions?. I last spoke to the SW on 15th Feb and she said likely close the case but waiting to hear info from oic, not heard a bean from her since!. So his conditions are no unsupervised contact with an u18 unless unavoidable or foreseen. She said at the time to follow conditions but if there's none this time round what do we do?!. Basically it's only my son ( now over 16) . He has no contact in his life with any u18 anyway, I mean he goes out to work at early in the morning and back in the evening after me! My son is out the door after school to hang with his mates! There's literally no time he's here without me anyway in a normal situation let alone all this happening! It's all rather confusing!

Yeah I thought age over 16 would have an effect. The iioc are girls as far as my husband remembers, mainly teenage age. He can't remember exactly,think he's in shock and has blocked it out to an extent. I'm guessing the SW will focus on controls on our internet? Dunno. I've done all the blocks etc, got a new router and done the parental controls but we are very much in limbo! Xx

There is no sense Lee, I'll just be glad to get over the next bail date. I mean it's a massive thing hanging over us, like everyone here. I read on here other women's stories about waiting over a year to even get to court! It's just mad and like I said the police are fighting a loosing battle

Can anyone shed any light please as my x was taken in back in October during an early morning wake up call amd was realeased later that day under investigation. SS were involved and stated my younges who is 12 cannot have any unspupervisec contact with his dad, the police said due to the fact that we separated years ago any info discussed was on a need to know basis!! As he was of no concern to me anymore!!! And SS Services have closed the case after a few calls back in September as they were happy with the procedures in place with my son..... has anyone got any idea if I will be told of any outcome via the police or SS or is it a case if he's found guilty I will find out via the local press?? My oldest is over 20 and has chosen to walk away from dad many years ago but my son is now asking questions about the situation which I can't answer

Hi Skinty, sorry you find yourself here and also being kept in the dark.

It's important forum you to understand what's gone on so you can be well informed about how to proceed with a relationship for your youngest child.

The police are unlikely to disclose anything to you other than "he has now been charged" or "there's no further action". If SS have closed the case, they are unlikely to be told much either unless he persues contact. If he is charged and the police tell you that much, they will not tell you what the charges are. They didn't tell me and I was going through family court with him so they knew I'd have it disclosed to me soon anyway - they will not break protocol and I had to wait a couple weeks longer to find out through family court.

When he goes to court, you should be able to phone the court and ask for details about his appearance. If you explain your relationship, the clerk is likely to tell you what the charges and bail conditions were and might also tell you the date of the next appearance. Also, once he is charged, you should be able to apply for a disclosure through Sarah's Law as you need to know in order to protect your child.

Sorry I can't be of any more help. x

Hi skinty,

I was in a similar situation in terms of information as a separated person. Police couldn't tell me anything. After initial social services convo saying that he could only have supervised visits, I heard nothing. And I did try and chase it up with them repeatedly. It was an insane 2.5 years between his knock at the door and sentencing.



I had a call a couple of weeks before sentencing from the police, saying he'd been charged and would be in court soon for sentencing. They couldn't tell me anything more, not even the date. I found that by scouting Court listings. Then I rang the court for his sentence. Still no info on the charges.

I only found out the full details from the local rag article posted later that day.

Thank you for that ChickenPie

I think if I've got to wait that long I'll go mad!
one good thing the x hasn't come forward and created a fuss about seeing my youngest he knows I won't allow it and none of his family have come forward to help, I just so glad as couldn't go through all the fight of protecting myself and my children again.

It was truly ridiculous. And when I discovered that the police had been alerted to his activities almost 9 months before they questioned him, I was absolutely gobsmacked. 9 months of my kids staying over at his house when they had that information.