Social care
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Dnt even know why I'm posting ..just feel like world and his wife are against us..
We've been through so much already and we thought the end was in sight.how wrong were we.after everything I've done to show I'm a protective parent and after all the courses I've done and the safety plan etc,still it isn't good enough for social care.still they won't allow hubby to come home and still they won't allow contact in the home..the reason??
The reason is because they say I don't believe he could pose a risk!!
Never at any point did i say that i didn't believe he wasn't a risk.everything I've said has been twisted and used against me..
Because I said hes never shown any interest in children ( which he hasn't) in all the years we've been together and that he hasn't just decided to show an interest one day upon waking up that that has to be in you from an early age,they've used that against me and said it's a cause for concern.
Because I said that the reason he didn't delete the apps that he was chatting on was because he was still chatting and only chatting and not for any other reason, they've also used that against me and twisted it and said its a cause for concern.
That if I don't start to believe that he could pose a risk then I may not be able to keep our daughter safe then that is also a cause for concern.They speak of the recommendations that need to be followed ( what recommendations?? I'm still waiting to hear what these are) they've recommended to probation that doesn't return home yet as they think I cant keep her safe:-(
They've basically threatened me by saying in words to the effect that as a parent I don't have to follow the recommendations but should I choose not to do so,then they as social care, would if it was suspected that our daughter was in danger, look to a CPP.
They've even said in the assessment that our daughter has never shown signs of abuse, that shes shown no signs of abuse by her dad and has never revealed any abuse of any kind.
Hubby has contacted probation qs they've been saying for the past month that they're going to get him home as that's where he needs to be ,so as to better aid his rehabilitation, his offender management officers have also said that he should be at home and can't understand why he isn't already as the level of risk hasn't changed.
So he has a probation meeting on Wednesday where his probation officer is going to speak with him and put together a 'plan of action' to get him home.shes told him that it will get sorted and he will be home..
I don't know where else to turn or what else to do..they're trying to imply that I'm prioritising my relationship over that of my daughter and her safety which simply isn't true.
Now social care manager is going to arrange 2/3 more sessions with social worker so as best to support me in as they say 'to better my understanding'
If probation say hes safe to return home and we have him home, where do we stand in terms of social care and them taking our daughter away??
Stop so website and chat have advised that social care may threaten to take her away but unless there was actual physical proof beyond doubt that she was in danger and at risk,a judge would never pass it.
I'm at my wits end..cannot cope anymore-:-(
We've been through so much already and we thought the end was in sight.how wrong were we.after everything I've done to show I'm a protective parent and after all the courses I've done and the safety plan etc,still it isn't good enough for social care.still they won't allow hubby to come home and still they won't allow contact in the home..the reason??
The reason is because they say I don't believe he could pose a risk!!
Never at any point did i say that i didn't believe he wasn't a risk.everything I've said has been twisted and used against me..
Because I said hes never shown any interest in children ( which he hasn't) in all the years we've been together and that he hasn't just decided to show an interest one day upon waking up that that has to be in you from an early age,they've used that against me and said it's a cause for concern.
Because I said that the reason he didn't delete the apps that he was chatting on was because he was still chatting and only chatting and not for any other reason, they've also used that against me and twisted it and said its a cause for concern.
That if I don't start to believe that he could pose a risk then I may not be able to keep our daughter safe then that is also a cause for concern.They speak of the recommendations that need to be followed ( what recommendations?? I'm still waiting to hear what these are) they've recommended to probation that doesn't return home yet as they think I cant keep her safe:-(
They've basically threatened me by saying in words to the effect that as a parent I don't have to follow the recommendations but should I choose not to do so,then they as social care, would if it was suspected that our daughter was in danger, look to a CPP.
They've even said in the assessment that our daughter has never shown signs of abuse, that shes shown no signs of abuse by her dad and has never revealed any abuse of any kind.
Hubby has contacted probation qs they've been saying for the past month that they're going to get him home as that's where he needs to be ,so as to better aid his rehabilitation, his offender management officers have also said that he should be at home and can't understand why he isn't already as the level of risk hasn't changed.
So he has a probation meeting on Wednesday where his probation officer is going to speak with him and put together a 'plan of action' to get him home.shes told him that it will get sorted and he will be home..
I don't know where else to turn or what else to do..they're trying to imply that I'm prioritising my relationship over that of my daughter and her safety which simply isn't true.
Now social care manager is going to arrange 2/3 more sessions with social worker so as best to support me in as they say 'to better my understanding'
If probation say hes safe to return home and we have him home, where do we stand in terms of social care and them taking our daughter away??
Stop so website and chat have advised that social care may threaten to take her away but unless there was actual physical proof beyond doubt that she was in danger and at risk,a judge would never pass it.
I'm at my wits end..cannot cope anymore-:-(
To say that I no longer trust social care or the social worker is an understatement..social worker sat in my house not so long ago and looked me in the eye and said that they could see I was a protective parent and that I could keep our daughter safe but then in the next breath I get stabbed in the back..
I wont say another word to the manager now until hubby has had his meeting with probation on Wednesday because no matter what I say,it will just be the wrong thing.
Social care have raised concerns with probation regarding me :-(
Have they any idea how thats made me feel?? Like I'm worthless,like I'm useless and that I'm a failure and maybe everyone would be better off without me :-(
I wont say another word to the manager now until hubby has had his meeting with probation on Wednesday because no matter what I say,it will just be the wrong thing.
Social care have raised concerns with probation regarding me :-(
Have they any idea how thats made me feel?? Like I'm worthless,like I'm useless and that I'm a failure and maybe everyone would be better off without me :-(
Well let social care do their worst if that's what they choose to do..there is no evidence as they've stated to suggest that shes been abused or ever would be..
And if probation say hes safe to return home and he does,then let social care do whatever it is they think they need to,because I will fight them all the way and I'll die before I let them take her away
And if probation say hes safe to return home and he does,then let social care do whatever it is they think they need to,because I will fight them all the way and I'll die before I let them take her away
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Steli
See what I mean when I say they twisted and used it against me..
I have never at any point ever tried to play down what has happened and I never would.. because ive said it in a way that isn't acceptable to them they've used it against Me and now do u see why I feel I cant say anything simply for that very reason!!
Because everything I say now I feel will get twisted..so it's better i say nothing so as to protect ourselves because it would appear that I'm making it worse..
See what I mean when I say they twisted and used it against me..
I have never at any point ever tried to play down what has happened and I never would.. because ive said it in a way that isn't acceptable to them they've used it against Me and now do u see why I feel I cant say anything simply for that very reason!!
Because everything I say now I feel will get twisted..so it's better i say nothing so as to protect ourselves because it would appear that I'm making it worse..
Morning,
I cannot offer advice as to what the LA will threaten but some practical advice as someone who was taken to court the day my son was born and then again 4 times after - illegally!! Despite the fact I left the offender and have never let him our son and I am a safeguarding senior Midwife!
I do recommend that you kept proper paper trails and even record conversations and have witnesses.
I have almost completed a successful sueing of my local authority, this doesn't ease the trauma of what my son and I experienced from the day he was born but it does make the LA sit up and listen and do their job properly.
For example, if the SW looks you in the eye and states you are a protective factor. After that meeting you email them and state following today's meeting you have stated .....x,y and z.
Then if you end up in court with the threat of removal the Judge can clearly see the way you have been lied to and set up to fail.
My ex had viewed images and videos of Cat A and admitted to masturbating to the images (that's not a topic I have seen discussed on this forum, if people view it or also deriving sexual pleasure from it and in relation to if this changes the idea on the P word) and the judge stated, the fathers crimes do not match the LA reaction.
Another practical tip is to source a solicitor from the top 500, this is still covered by legal aid yet you find the proven best in family law field to represent you.
I cannot offer advice as to what the LA will threaten but some practical advice as someone who was taken to court the day my son was born and then again 4 times after - illegally!! Despite the fact I left the offender and have never let him our son and I am a safeguarding senior Midwife!
I do recommend that you kept proper paper trails and even record conversations and have witnesses.
I have almost completed a successful sueing of my local authority, this doesn't ease the trauma of what my son and I experienced from the day he was born but it does make the LA sit up and listen and do their job properly.
For example, if the SW looks you in the eye and states you are a protective factor. After that meeting you email them and state following today's meeting you have stated .....x,y and z.
Then if you end up in court with the threat of removal the Judge can clearly see the way you have been lied to and set up to fail.
My ex had viewed images and videos of Cat A and admitted to masturbating to the images (that's not a topic I have seen discussed on this forum, if people view it or also deriving sexual pleasure from it and in relation to if this changes the idea on the P word) and the judge stated, the fathers crimes do not match the LA reaction.
Another practical tip is to source a solicitor from the top 500, this is still covered by legal aid yet you find the proven best in family law field to represent you.
Hi Annie
I agree with steli and HM that you will need legal help if you propose to 'fight' against what SS are saying/imposing. I'm surprised that the probation officer is making claims that your husband can go back home. My understanding is that they dont really have a say in this- this is the role of SS and judges. Probation focus on risk of reoffending and SW have their own criteria and essentially the probation a d SS are not 'compatible'.
You may want to consider to meet the requirements of SW for a certain length of time and then pursue him coming home. Not all offenders are the same but many will not have any consideration from probation and/or SS to return home soon after a sentence.
And yes it is frustrating when SW say one thing to your face and go back on it in writing. But sometimes people have to go back over their work guidelines and/or review other evidence to realise intial responses were incorrect. In my line of work (regarding permissions) I have had to 'go back on my word' but I typically apologize and explain. Not SW have done this or just don't want to admit they got it wrong after further review.
I agree with steli and HM that you will need legal help if you propose to 'fight' against what SS are saying/imposing. I'm surprised that the probation officer is making claims that your husband can go back home. My understanding is that they dont really have a say in this- this is the role of SS and judges. Probation focus on risk of reoffending and SW have their own criteria and essentially the probation a d SS are not 'compatible'.
You may want to consider to meet the requirements of SW for a certain length of time and then pursue him coming home. Not all offenders are the same but many will not have any consideration from probation and/or SS to return home soon after a sentence.
And yes it is frustrating when SW say one thing to your face and go back on it in writing. But sometimes people have to go back over their work guidelines and/or review other evidence to realise intial responses were incorrect. In my line of work (regarding permissions) I have had to 'go back on my word' but I typically apologize and explain. Not SW have done this or just don't want to admit they got it wrong after further review.
I can only pass on what probation have said and his offender management officers.
His offender management officers have said the level of risk hasn't changed and he should be at home, probation have said they'll get him home..
He was served a 3yr community order and 5yrs on the register for being in possession of iioc sent to him via kik.
Literally cannot deal with much more :-(
So i will play the game and see what the outcome is
His offender management officers have said the level of risk hasn't changed and he should be at home, probation have said they'll get him home..
He was served a 3yr community order and 5yrs on the register for being in possession of iioc sent to him via kik.
Literally cannot deal with much more :-(
So i will play the game and see what the outcome is
I guess I'm panicking about the thought of her being taken away.
So ive no choice but to comply with them
So ive no choice but to comply with them