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hi everybody, I’m new on here and desperate for any help and advise on how to get through this nightmare ! This is a long horrendous story and I apologise but was directed to you all for help, guidance and support...
( my ex husband and I have been separated for 4.5 years and divorced since December. We have 2 children 14 and 11, they both live with me and my fiancée )
2 weeks ago we got a knock from 2 police officers asking to speak to me about my ex.... at first I thought they were here to tell me he was is an accident of something. But instead informed me that he has been arrested for online indecent activities involving underage children and all his devices have been taken. I was absolutely shocked beyond belief as he was one of my closest friend despite out split. He could see and have contact with the children when every he wanted as I believe it’s so important. I was advised by the police that contact should only be supervised until the investigation is complete. At that moment my heart broke for my children as they love their dad.
And the whole situation just got worse and worse as the days have passed, to such an extent I feel in a hazy bubble.... ( I found out last week I’m pregnant too, that’s a good thing tho )
so since then I have had the police and social services at my house on 4 different occasions for statements and to talk to the children. The police and investigators have since discovered on his divices videos and photos involving our one child ( class A ) although there are class b and c too amoung other images he has got from the people he has been chatting, sharing and receiving images from. So obviously social services are involved and my child has had to go for a full medical !!
He is on bail with strict restrictions and no visitation or contact at all. He pleaded guilty in court and goes to crown court next month. He is been charged for “ taking” “possession” “ sexual assault of a minor” and "distribution"
I am beyond mortified and don’t know how to move forward or even begin. This man I once loved, considered my friend and trusted has broken me and my children. Life for them will never be the same. I am finding this all so hard and have a million thoughts and “what ifs” running through my head. Obviously I am full of hate for this man now at what he has done. Does anyone have any idea if he will serve time in jail for his actions. Myself and my 2 kids are broken and life as we knew it is gone
any advise please x
( my ex husband and I have been separated for 4.5 years and divorced since December. We have 2 children 14 and 11, they both live with me and my fiancée )
2 weeks ago we got a knock from 2 police officers asking to speak to me about my ex.... at first I thought they were here to tell me he was is an accident of something. But instead informed me that he has been arrested for online indecent activities involving underage children and all his devices have been taken. I was absolutely shocked beyond belief as he was one of my closest friend despite out split. He could see and have contact with the children when every he wanted as I believe it’s so important. I was advised by the police that contact should only be supervised until the investigation is complete. At that moment my heart broke for my children as they love their dad.
And the whole situation just got worse and worse as the days have passed, to such an extent I feel in a hazy bubble.... ( I found out last week I’m pregnant too, that’s a good thing tho )
so since then I have had the police and social services at my house on 4 different occasions for statements and to talk to the children. The police and investigators have since discovered on his divices videos and photos involving our one child ( class A ) although there are class b and c too amoung other images he has got from the people he has been chatting, sharing and receiving images from. So obviously social services are involved and my child has had to go for a full medical !!
He is on bail with strict restrictions and no visitation or contact at all. He pleaded guilty in court and goes to crown court next month. He is been charged for “ taking” “possession” “ sexual assault of a minor” and "distribution"
I am beyond mortified and don’t know how to move forward or even begin. This man I once loved, considered my friend and trusted has broken me and my children. Life for them will never be the same. I am finding this all so hard and have a million thoughts and “what ifs” running through my head. Obviously I am full of hate for this man now at what he has done. Does anyone have any idea if he will serve time in jail for his actions. Myself and my 2 kids are broken and life as we knew it is gone
any advise please x
Hi!!!
Welcome to this forum. I'm sorry that you've found yourself here but this forum really is an amazing support in such an unknown world.
I'm not really sure I can help much. Your process from knock to court seems to be incredibly fast in comparison to most and my partner is still in the investigation stage but I can say that I so vividly remember the early days and that you just need to try as hard as you can to avoid the what if thoughts... They won't do you any good at the moment.
I'm sorry you've had so many police and social services visits, just 1 is stressful and overwhelming let alone 4. How is your social worker? I found mine to be really nice but my experience was like standing in a fog sometimes so I've asked mine for a meeting just me and her so she can explain the whole process to me and let me know what I can expect in the future with there involvement.
Contact your GP for support.
Definitely call the StopItNow helpline and spend some time exploring this whole website.
My child's head teacher has been incredible!
The Family Rights Group online and helpline has also been amazing at helping me understand the SS process with me and the children.
Make sure you're not blaming yourself either Hun. There is a whole community here that too had absolutely no idea that there husband, partner,ex,dad or friend was doing this or could be capable of any of this.
So much love XXX
Welcome to this forum. I'm sorry that you've found yourself here but this forum really is an amazing support in such an unknown world.
I'm not really sure I can help much. Your process from knock to court seems to be incredibly fast in comparison to most and my partner is still in the investigation stage but I can say that I so vividly remember the early days and that you just need to try as hard as you can to avoid the what if thoughts... They won't do you any good at the moment.
I'm sorry you've had so many police and social services visits, just 1 is stressful and overwhelming let alone 4. How is your social worker? I found mine to be really nice but my experience was like standing in a fog sometimes so I've asked mine for a meeting just me and her so she can explain the whole process to me and let me know what I can expect in the future with there involvement.
Contact your GP for support.
Definitely call the StopItNow helpline and spend some time exploring this whole website.
My child's head teacher has been incredible!
The Family Rights Group online and helpline has also been amazing at helping me understand the SS process with me and the children.
Make sure you're not blaming yourself either Hun. There is a whole community here that too had absolutely no idea that there husband, partner,ex,dad or friend was doing this or could be capable of any of this.
So much love XXX
Oh hunny, I am so so sorry to hear what has happened in your life. You must be all over the place right now.
I would strongly suggest you join the Stop So forum... There are family members of contact offenders on their also.. So it could really help you to connect with others going through similar.
Take good care of yourself and your kids and seek help, support and solice in any way you can. Sending lots of love and strength xxxx
I would strongly suggest you join the Stop So forum... There are family members of contact offenders on their also.. So it could really help you to connect with others going through similar.
Take good care of yourself and your kids and seek help, support and solice in any way you can. Sending lots of love and strength xxxx