Family and Friends Forum

My journey ended thankfully in Feb 2021. It hit the papers. It hit socials. I went through the journey discreetly to try and save myself from embarrassment but that was short lived when the press got hold of it. I then had a close circle of people I needed to explain where I had been all this time (I hid away) trying to process it all. I thought I finally got over the last hurdle of explaining myself which I bloody well know I don't have to, but did to clear things up then on Friday my ex partners ex girlfriend before me has set up an online campaign outing him as a P, telling everyone where he lives, what he's done, not to use his business and the followers of this campaign have already shown signs of threat towards him and disgust.

A good friend of mine seen this campaign and messaged me privately (I don't use fb or anything) I read the comments for myself and thought get on with your day it's nothing to do with you. Which I did.



That evening my phone received a text off another friend. On her birthday she brought her friend along who I met once and she added me on Instagram after a tag on a photo. Don't really know her but she texted my friend on Friday night asking was yazznan with..... He's all over fb as a P. My friend sent me that text saying u needed to know.



Friday night I lost the plot. I am so upset. I expressed my upset at my friend as I don't think that was helpful to know. All she had to say was this isn't helpful towards yazz I'm not gossiping. But she never. She showed me and it set all my triggers off. Since the knock I have been diagnosed with an auto immune disease which affects my skin and I was tearing with itch and rage.

I demanded she told her to stop gossiping about me which she said at first she wasn't going to reply to her, then she come back and said oh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to sound like I was gossiping I just saw the fb post online. She's a lovely girl I haven't got a bad word about her.



I flipped my lid and said back she met me once on a night out and I suggest she gets a life and stays out my way she knows F all about me she's met me once.



I thought time was slowly moving on, those who found out at the time did, but it seems people in the community who maybe didn't recognise him or the man behind his business now are finding out who he is and what he's done after all, and I guess I need a thicker skin in what may be to come.



I just feel so upset that something that I haven't even done, have no part in, is still around me.

Thank god for good friends and thus forum for venting x

Thank you yellow House



Iv tried to see it from that angle its just their curiosity, and I suppose if I pieced it together like she had I would of thought the same, but as for messaging about it, would I have done that? I guess as iv lived the nightmare I'm feeling differently.

I was bullied severely in school and it still affects me to this day. Now as an adult though I no longer feel scared of anyone and I think that's why I projected my anger towards her as a way of protecting myself. I'd had a day of it and she got the lot thrown back.

It's just horrendous. I want people to just think about how this affects people like us, we're not entertainment for others to gossip about we're living a hell. I don't think people realise.

But your right those that matter do and those that don't don't. I need to work on my triggers to help my own wellbeing.



Rusty that is so sweet of you thank you. I pray you don't experience the press or people gossiping. It doesn't always end that way.



Thank you for both listening to my vent! I feel better for it x x x

Thank you yellowhouse,

Your right I will have bad and good days. Its only just over a month too. Its still raw and he will always been known now in our area for his crime.

It's my own head space that iv lived in for so long processing it, then this new part of the journey the aftermath, its horrendous.



I know my friend has no malice, I just question her thought process in telling me. I would of protected her at all costs, unless it affected her safety. But we all don't think the same and I'm trying to be mindful of that.

Thank you for your kind words xxx

So glad your phone didn't break haha! Xxx

Hi Steli



Thank you for your reply. How lovely were your friends and the dance teacher? That is so compassionate it gave me goosebumps reading it. So lovely.



Not so lovely how your family and SW were though. I'll never understand the human mind and the lack of empathy some can show. It's not about their feelings its about our lives! I feel for you. You get it.



I can't believe she gave you the photo. What possessed her to do that I'll never know. People are weird.



I'm feeling a lot calmer tonight, iv spoke on here and mumsnet and had a nice telephone call too.

I'm going to take your stance on not caring how it is for them I'm putting myself first from now on. Thank you for the kick up the bum I needed xxx